Yan Xiuchen was already used to being stared at, but tonight felt different. People weren't looking at him with disgust, but more out of curiosity. Even his colleagues couldn't help but give him a second look, as if they weren't sure whether this was the same man they were acquainted with. It was like it was an entirely different person that was meeting them tonight.
He wondered what Xiao Rufeng truly thought of his appearance today. Did she also find it as odd as he did? It wasn't like he didn't like how he looked tonight, because for the first time, he couldn't see the disgust and fear people usually showed whenever they looked at his face.
The night went by peacefully and when he returned home, Yan Xiuchen didn't expect that he would see Xiao Rufeng waiting for his return at the front doors of his home.
"What are you doing here?" He asked in surprise. Although Xiao Rufeng was wearing a thick coat to protect herself from the night breeze, the weather in Shenjing at this time of the year was biting cold.
"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to wait for you." The actress replied sheepishly. Her breath fogging in front of her face as she speaks.
Yan Xiuchen clicked his tongue in disapproval, before opening the doors so they could enter the household.
"Still, you could have waited for me inside rather than staying outside. How will I explain to Su Xiaofei if you fall sick after this?" He said, but a warm feeling spread in his chest when the thought of her waiting for his return sunk in his mind.
Xiao Rufeng flushed and looked away, glad that they were inside his grand mansion, protecting her from the coldness of the night.
"Sorry. I didn't expect that you would come home this late. I should have known."
To her surprise, Yan Xiuchen took both of her hands and examined them. They were pale and cold to touch and having him this close as he leaned in to her, Xiao Rufeng could smell his clean aftershave. Her face instantly turned beet red at their proximity as she held her breath.
"I-It's nothing." She forced herself to respond.
"You should be more careful, Miss Xiao. I would hate it if you fell ill because of me." His gaze then moved to her face, reminding her once again of how oddly attracted she was to this man.
It was odd for her to feel this way, considering she didn't know much about him, and they had only been acquainted with each other for almost two weeks now. They only had three days left until their arrangement came to an end, but Xiao Rufeng felt like she wasn't ready to leave him just yet.
Daring herself to confront this unknown feelings he instilled in her, Xiao Rufeng invaded his private space and immediately, Yan Xiuchen's whole body stiffened as he looked at her, utterly bewildered by the sudden movement.
"You look different." She murmured, much to his confusion. She couldn't stop staring at his face.
Wasn't she the one who suggested this? Then why did she feel disappointed upon seeing the perfect, elegant man she knew Yan Xiuchen could be without the prominent scars on his face? This wasn't the man who saved her life. This wasn't her Yan Xiuchen at all.
Then she swore to herself. Her Yan Xiuchen? Was she insane? Since when did he belong to her? She must really be losing her mind. This man wasn't hers in any sense of the word. She needed to get a hold of herself.
Xiao Rufeng sighed inwardly. She didn't know why she was even bothered by him.
"I thought this is what you like to see." Yan Xiuchen cocked his head to one side as he looked at her.
"No. Of course not. That's not what I meant when I suggested this to you." Her brows drew together. She lifted her right hand, wanting to touch the side of his face that was covered with makeup.
It bothered her, alright, and she couldn't exactly explain why she didn't like this version of Yan Xiuchen when there was nothing wrong about the way he looked tonight.
Yan Xiuchen visibly flinched, and her hand stopped midair.
"Sorry. Were you uncomfortable having makeup on your face?" She asked as she lowered her hand. She berated herself for even daring to touch his face.
Yan Xiuchen swallowed hard. Did he feel good? Not really, although he admitted that he liked that he didn't receive any unusual stares tonight. He didn't really like being himself. Xiao Rufeng made him a decent man tonight, and he could see that other people were pleased with his appearance, so why wasn't she?
"You want to hear the truth? It felt nice not to receive repulsive stares from others." He started, "but I would rather not wear it anymore if you are looking at me like this."
"What?" It was Xiao Rufeng's turn to be confused.
"You look at me as if you pity me. Is that what you think of me, Miss Xiao? Did you volunteer to come here and become my temporary assistant out of pity? I'll tell you now, I don't need either of your pity or sympathy."
He then smeared the makeup on the right side of his face with his handkerchief, as if it disgusted him to have it on his face.
Yan Xiuchen couldn't believe he was saying these words to her, but these were the things that were bothering him the moment she volunteered to become his assistant. God, she was the most amazing woman he'd met, and it was a pity that he couldn't have her all to himself.
No, because Xiao Rufeng deserved better than a broken man like him. He didn't want other people to criticize her for being with him. She didn't deserve any of that.
"That's not true, Mr. Yan! I like you the way you are!" Xiao Rufeng exclaimed. Seeing the scars visible on his face, she knew then that it was part of the reason she was attracted to him. This was the Yan Xiuchen she knew, and not the perfect man earlier.
'You are insane, Xiao Rufeng.' She taunted herself.
"You want me to believe that?" He said with a derisive snort. "Forgive me, Miss Xiao, but I have lived my thirties and know what people think of me. They flinch whenever they look at me. They turn away when they see my face. Haven't you done the same? Do you know it hurts to know that I couldn't be anything, but a benefactor, to you? That I'm pining away like some child—"
He paused and realized that he made a slip of the tongue. It wasn't his plan to confess to her. He didn't want her to feel repulsive towards him, not when they were about to part ways. Xiao Rufeng would pull away from him, and he would be left wallowing in his own humiliation.
Xiao Rufeng turned to stare at him with widened eyes, shocked to hear this sudden outburst from him.
"I like everything about you, but I know I cannot have you. I like you more than I should, but I don't dare to hope, Miss Xiao. Someone like you doesn't deserve someone like me, but I couldn't seem to stop liking you even more when I'm with you." He continued, seeing how wide her eyes became at his confession. He then shut his eyes, knowing the impending rejection that was to follow.
"I'm sorry. Let's pretend none of this ever happened, that you heard nothing from me." Yan Xiuchen grimaced. He hated himself at that very moment. He practically gave her a reason to run away from him.
To his surprise, Xiao Rufeng said nothing and only stared at him. The confusion on her face was now lost and was replaced by something Yan Xiuchen couldn't comprehend. He knew then that he ruined everything they had right now with his sudden confession.
"You shouldn't speak like your feelings don't matter. You matter, Yan Xiuchen." She said with a frown on her beautiful face. He looked so tormented that she couldn't help but ache for him.
"I speak from experience, Miss Xiao. To be honest, you are the only woman who looked at me without her stomach churning at the sight of my face. You weren't revolted with my face, and I admit that initially, that piqued my curiosity."
When she said nothing, Yan Xiuchen continued.
"I've already accepted that I will grow old alone. A man like me doesn't have any choice when it comes to love and affection. I'm only wanted by others for my fortune. I'm sorry that I have burdened you this way. I must be really foolish to even think—"
However, even before he could finish his words, a pair of soft lips stopped Yan Xiuchen from saying more, leaving him astonished.
Visit freewe𝑏nove(l).𝐜𝐨𝗺 for the 𝑏est n𝘰vel reading experience