Bai Qingyue lifted her head this time and looked at her daughter, seeing her crying. When she came here to confirm if Su Xiaofei was really her daughter, she only wanted to know if Su Xiaofei held a grudge against her, but she didn't expect to see her in the lowest point of her life.
Bai Qingyue had long stayed away from being a mother. Even in the roles she was playing, she refused to play motherly roles or to hold a child no matter how much others insisted. In her whole life, she had only held a baby once, and that was her daughter. Her one and only child.
The same daughter who was looking at her with tears pooling in her eyes at this very moment. The same daughter who made it clear that she didn't care one bit about her and only treated her as a person who gave birth to her, nothing more.
Su Xiaofei made it clear that she could never be her mother, to which Bai Qingyue wasn't planning to contest at all. The moment she abandoned Su Xiaofei, she had already forfeited all her rights to become her mother.
However, seeing Su Xiaofei in tears as she broke down in front of her disturbed Bai Qingyue greatly. Just as Su Xiaofei said, she shouldn't care anymore how she lives her life after leaving her, but Bai Qingyue couldn't.
"I know that I have no rights to become your mother, and I don't plan on becoming one." Bai Qingyue started. "I know I messed up badly, and I don't deserve neither your forgiveness nor sympathy."
Thankfully, her husband was also like her, who wasn't expecting to have a kid in the future. Bai Qingyue didn't think she had what it takes to be a good mother.
Su Xiaofei said nothing, but only leaned on her husband for support because she didn't trust herself at that moment. Her eyes stung with tears, and she wasn't able to stop it. She felt tired of everything. She wanted to be furious at Bai Qingyue, but now it felt like she didn't have the right to because of what her birth mother had done.
"I need a better explanation than that. That explains nothing." She pointed out after sensing that Bai Qingyue was trying to get a reaction from her.
"I suppose you are right." The actress shut her eyes and took a shallow breath. 'I shouldn't care about you, but when I saw you crying, my heart couldn't take it.' She thought.
Her daughter remained silent, but her expression told Bai Qingyue that she didn't believe her.
"You are the bane of my existence. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have lost the love of my life. I hate your very existence." She admitted, surprising not only Su Xiaofei but also Xi Qian and Lu Qingfeng, who were listening to their conversation.
Lu Qingfeng's eyes turned cold as he looked at his wife's birth mother. He couldn't understand how a mother could hate her daughter this much. It was then he decided that even if the world hated Su Xiaofei, he would love her with all he had.
"I hated that you were conceived at the wrong time. I hated that I had to choose between my family and Qiao Fengying and was forced to do something so horrible." The actress continued. "But when I gave birth to you and held you for the very first time, you opened your eyes and smiled brightly at me. You smiled at me, who hated your very existence."
At this, Bai Qingyue let out a mocking laugh. Su Xiaofei's smile was what haunted her in her waking hours, which only reminded her how miserable and pathetic she was.
"And then I saw you crying, and I thought that it wasn't supposed to be like that. To be honest, I do not care whether Yun Qingrong lives or not."
Su Xiaofei's expression immediately darkened at that, but she didn't dare to cut off Bai Qingyue's explanation.
"I only wanted to see you smile again, even if it isn't directed to me." Bai Qingyue sighed. "I really didn't want you to know about this."
Su Xiaofei scoffed at that.
"You want me to believe that? Because what I see is that you are using this as a free pass to redeem yourself. How am I supposed to hate you, be angry with you now? I'm upset and mad, but surely I can't be like that anymore because of this."
"That's not true." Bai Qingyue gave her daughter a pointed glare, which only made their resemblance more obvious because Xi Qian and Lu Qingfeng realized where Su Xiaofei got this familiar look she had on whenever she was annoyed.
"You have every right to hate me. I don't expect you to accept me as your mother. Your mother is Yun Qingrong." She insisted.
"Then what do you want in exchange for this? Surely, you didn't do it out of kindness." Su Xiaofei questioned her.
Bai Qingyue fell silent and considered her answer. This was why she didn't want Su Xiaofei to know. She gave a part of her organs to Yun Qingrong because she knew what the woman meant to Su Xiaofei.
If she said that she did it without expecting anything in return, Su Xiaofei wouldn't believe her. It was obvious that her daughter held deep resentment towards her, and she couldn't fault her for that. She would never be able to justify what she had done to Su Xiaofei and Qiao Fengying many years ago, so it was fine if Su Xiaofei hated her for as long as she wanted to.
"You really want to know?" She asked with a bitter smile.
"Would I waste my time here if not?" Su Xiaofei frowned.
"Then promise me that you wouldn't let the public know about this relationship between us." She demanded, knowing that Su Xiaofei would uphold her promise after this.
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