Su Xiaofei realized that there were so many possibilities in this life. What if she wasn't the only one who had woken up with the memories of her previous life? Being reborn was unusual, but living for a third time with Lu Qingfeng was rare. It was hard to tell which one of their memories were true and which ones were not.
The memories from her previous life also felt like a glimpse of what could happen in the future. However, regardless of her confusion, Su Xiaofei was certain that what she suffered in her previous life wasn't a figment of her imagination. The pain and betrayal felt too real for her to doubt them.
As for what Lu Qingfeng was trying to explain, she didn't know what to think of it. It was already a miracle that she was given a chance to right her wrongdoings. It was pointless for her to worry about something she knew nothing about and could only make the best out of the situation she was in.
"Should we worry then? Does this affect you somehow?" She eyed her husband, wondering if those memories were enough to change his views of her.
What if the previous Lu Qingfeng held some resentment towards her? If it wasn't for her, Lu Qingfeng wouldn't have done those horrendous things in the past.
Lu Qingfeng stared at her eyes, trying to see if it bothered her. He took her hand in his and gave it a light squeeze.
"I cannot deny that I'm disturbed by these memories, especially the ones where you died, and I couldn't do anything to protect you." He said with such strong bitterness in his tone. It was his deepest regret in his previous lives. He had been too weak to stop fate from taking Su Xiaofei's life, and the nagging feeling in his chest that it may happen again still lingers to this day.
For the first time since her rebirth, Su Xiaofei looked at her husband, seeing the same Lu Qingfeng she followed for so many years as a ghost. She couldn't forget his listless eyes and how he had lost the will to live after everything was ruined in his wake. There were even times when she watched as Lu Qingfeng stood blankly, staring at the gun in front of him as if he also wanted to end his life, but he didn't.
That broken man was what she was seeing right now. Not the Lu Qingfeng who was confident with himself, not the young man who beamed at her with a smile the moment she walked down the aisle to marry him.
Su Xiaofei raised her other hand and touched Lu Qingfeng's face. It pained her to see him like this, but there was no way she would allow Lu Qingfeng to become the tyrant that he was in their previous life. Hadn't she promised that she would make sure that he would lead a happier life this time?
"But I'm here and alive with you. Isn't that what's important right now?" She told him. Since he was with her now, shouldn't they face problems together as husband and wife? "I won't leave you. Never. Even if one day you start to regret marrying me, you should remember that I won't let you go." She teased him, hoping to lighten the pressure on him.
If she was right, her death was one of the reasons he kept having nightmares. She didn't know how much Lu Qingfeng could remember, but it wouldn't surprise him if one day all of his memories from the past would merge with what he had now.
Lu Qingfeng gave her a small smile and pressed a gentle kiss on her palm before sighing.
"I'm merely worried about the possibility of what could happen in the future. The Lu Qingfeng from those memories have failed you."
"But you wouldn't." Su Xiaofei cut him off. "My dear husband, I trust you with my life. Don't you think it's pointless to worry about a concern that isn't here in the first place? If anything, we should learn from the mistakes you've garnered from those memories and make sure we won't repeat them in the future."
Lu Qingfeng frowned, though not unhappily. He looked thoughtful as he considered her words.
"You are right." He agreed dryly. "But I won't lower my guard when it comes to your safety."
"How did I die in those memories anyway?" Su Xiaofei asked, wanting to know how much he could remember and if there was anything that she had forgotten.
Her husband stiffened under her touch, and she berated herself inwardly. Su Xiaofei immediately regretted what she had said. It was foolish of her to ask such a question, knowing how uncomfortable Lu Qingfeng was with those memories.
"When I was younger, I kept dreaming about you dying alone at home, with no husband or mother to look after you. It was a bizarre dream because I think I was already dead before you, but I could see you on your deathbed, struggling to fight for a breath. I'm not really sure about the cause of your death." Lu Qingfeng admitted, purposely not mentioning how she was also pregnant at the time, losing not only her life, but also the life of her unborn child.
"And the second?"
"You were poisoned by someone. Whoever it was, they made sure that your death would be slow and painful. I found you too late, and you were ghastly pale on your deathbed, with your eyes void of any signs of life. I think that's the thing I'm worried about the most. I never want to see you in such a state, Feifei."
Something twinged in Su Xiaofei's heart. She knew what Lu Qingfeng said was true. Although they were both aware of what happened in the past, it didn't mean that she won't suffer the same end this time. Ye Mingyu had managed to kill her in the past and if cornered, Su Xiaofei was certain that the woman would retaliate harshly.
This content is taken from (f)reewe(b)novel.𝗰𝗼𝐦