She might want him now, but for Lu Qingfeng, he would always want her and would always choose her above anything else. Once again, he admitted to himself. Her power and influence over him was absolute.
Lu Qingfeng would be lying if he said that he didn't desire her. However, his own inexperience when it comes to intimacy made him wonder if he would be able to please her and give the sexual satisfaction that she needed.
He briefly wondered if he made the wrong decision to abstain from doing it in the past with another woman, but his mind immediately rejected the idea. He couldn't do what other men did with other women. Lu Qingfeng refused to succumb to his primal instinct, not unless he could do it with Su Xiaofei.
When Su Xiaofei suggested that they should start sharing the same room and sleep on the same bed yesterday, he already knew her intention. She had already made a decision to delay having a child, but it didn't mean that she was opposed to the idea of doing the process of baby making itself.
"Feifei, are you sure?" He asked, hoping that she wouldn't regret what would happen between them tonight. He also made a mental note to be careful with her, as no woman wanted to be ravaged and treated roughly on their first time.
"Yes." Su Xiaofei whimpered, looking down as she realized how forward she was tonight.
Lu Qingfeng had always been patient with her, and she didn't think she would be lucky enough to meet someone like him if she missed this chance to be with him for the second time.
He glanced at the half completed report he was working on and decided to continue it in the morning, because even if he didn't want to admit it, Su Xiaofei's presence was distracting him at this very moment. After turning off his laptop, he went and stood next to the bed, looking at his fiancée with complex emotions surging within him.
Did she even know that she was his dream that came true?
Lu Qingfeng couldn't encapsulate the feeling he had for her from all the lifetimes he had lived without her by his side. He wished that she would stay and would never forget him again.
He gently slid in and joined her on the bed with a hand reaching out to touch her face, willing to convince himself that she won't be leaving again. That she had accepted him fully and was about to become his wife.
Her cheeks dusted with pink as she allowed him to touch her. She leaned into his touch, nuzzling against him as he lightly caressed her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Su Xiaofei was the only one who showed him this kind of intimacy, as he was never one to be fond of another person's touch.
Come to think of it, even his own parents didn't spare him a glance as far as he could remember. Lu Qingfeng knew that he wasn't born out of love, but for the need of an heir for his father to use as an advantage against his brothers to succeed their family business. He was awed by this woman who loved him when no one else had.
The safety of her company, and the fact that she loved him, allowed Lu Qingfeng to truly relax and show hints of the man behind his emotionless mask. She, alone, was the only one worthy to see every side of him.
At that moment, he had a sense of clarity that soothed him. He was now looking forward to a life with her, to passions and things he never thought he would have.
"I wish to be with you forever." He suddenly blurted out, surprising not only Su Xiaofei, but also himself.
Su Xiaofei's eyes widened, as she realized what he'd meant with those words. A wide smile bloomed on her face as she nodded her head with an unguarded expression of love in her eyes. She wasn't repulsed by the idea of being with him for a very long time.
"Alright then. You better not regret saying this in the future. You're forever mine."
It was a good thing that she was a selfish person, because she would simply not allow herself to give him up, despite the fact that she might not be able to give as much love as he had given to her.
However, there was just a part of herself that forbids her to be happy, and Lu Qingfeng was aware of this.
It reminded him of the conversation he had with Yun Qingrong when he was discussing the wedding plans he and Su Xiaofei had in their mind.
"Aunty Qing, I hope you know that this isn't what I had in mind when I asked for her hand weeks ago." He started. "But please allow me to marry Feifei this time."
"As long as you can promise me something in return." Yun Qingrong smiled at him.
"And that is?" Lu Qingfeng questioned.
"That you will not betray her, forsake her, dishonor her or hurt her in any way… the way her father, my husband, had done to me. Xiao Feng, I will be leaving her in this world sooner or later, so please cherish my daughter. This is the only thing I ask of you."
Lu Qingfeng had never expected Yun Qingrong to make such a request. Never before had he seen her wallow in self-pity, even when she divorced that cheating bastard years ago, but he understood why Yun Qingrong was telling him this.
He nodded his assent. Yun Qingrong didn't have to ask him for this, as he would do everything in his capacity to make Su Xiaofei happy and content in this lifetime.
"I give you my word, Aunty Qing. I will take care of Feifei and love her for as long as I can.." He promised to his future mother-in-law.
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