The next day, Su Xiaofei didn't come down from her room to join her mother and Lu Qingfeng for breakfast and lunch, making Yun Qingrong worried about her. She had expected that her daughter wouldn't be able to take the news well, and feared that Feifei would harm herself in the process because of it.
She and Lu Qingfeng wordlessly had their meals, both worried about Su Xiaofei whom they hadn't seen since morning. Zhang Ling said that her miss hadn't stepped out of her room and didn't call for her nor her sister to discuss her agenda for the day. Not that Su Xiaofei was needed at the company at the moment since it was the weekend.
"Xiao Feng, I don't know what to do now. Feifei must be worried sick about me, which I understand, but I can't watch her deteriorate because of me." Yun Qingrong said to Lu Qingfeng.
Although she was glad that Lu Qingfeng had chosen to stay with them even when her daughter was back, she also didn't want to inconvenience him more than she already had. She felt guilty for having Lu Qingfeng deal with this family problem just as he became betrothed to her daughter.
Lu Qingfeng noticed that his Aunty Qing didn't have the appetite to eat today, which was understandable, given their current situation.
"Let me talk to her, Aunty Qing. She might not be ready to face you and needs some time to sort her thoughts." He replied as he looked down at his unfinished meal. Just like Yun Qingrong, he was worried about Su Xiaofei.
Yun Qingrong nodded. "I'll give you the spare key to her room, just in case she locked herself in."
This was what her daughter used to do whenever she felt upset about something since she was younger. Su Xiaofei would refuse to come out and eat her meals, which would leave her mother and Aunty Liu worried about her.
She could only be coaxed to come out by either Lu Qingfeng or Xi Qian. So it wasn't new for Lu Qingfeng to be given access to Su Xiaofei's room by her mother.
Lu Qingfeng wanted to ask Yun Qingrong if she was sure about it, but held his tongue, as he didn't want to make his future mother-in-law uncomfortable. It was no time to ask such questions.
Once they were done with lunch, Lu Qingfeng didn't waste his time and went upstairs to check on Su Xiaofei. He knocked on her door, but he didn't hear any response on her side. He didn't wait for too long and decided to use the key Yun Qingrong handed him earlier.
"Feifei?" He called out, once he pushed her door open. He was greeted by an eerie silence in her room as the only source of light was coming from the balcony of her room.
Lu Qingfeng found her seated on the floor next to her bed, her arms wrapped around her legs, spacing out, but her eyes were reddened from tears. It didn't seem like Su Xiaofei heard him earlier.
She was still dressed in her violet blouse and black pencil skirt, which she was wearing when she came home last night, her pair of high heels thrown at the other side of her room. Her long hair was free from its ties but looked unkempt.
Lu Qingfeng sat next to her but didn't say anything. Su Xiaofei didn't move an inch from where she was, but a moment later, she rested her head against his arm.
With his larger frame against her smaller one, Su Xiaofei felt safe next to him. She was glad that he was here, as she didn't feel alone any longer.
"Why is it that every time I think I am happy, sadness would always follow? I must be a terrible person to receive punishment like this. I admit that I was a foolish person in the past, perhaps, I am to this day. Am I not allowed to be happy?" She whispered next to him.
"Don't say that, Feifei. It's not your fault that Aunty Qing fell sick. No one wanted this to happen." Lu Qingfeng replied, shutting his eyes as he pondered her words.
"I wish I knew the answers to your questions, unfortunately I don't. But Feifei, Aunty Qing needs us to be stronger than ever. You won't be alone on this. You have me, you have Qian and the rest of the Yun family."
If there was someone who deserved to be punished, it should be him, not her. Because compared to what Su Xiaofei had done in their previous lives, it wasn't comparable to the horrible things he committed, especially after her death.
Maybe that was the reason why he had to lose Su Xiaofei twice, so that he could change himself for the better, not just to be worthy of her. Now that he was reborn again, Lu Qingfeng still felt like he couldn't be of any use to her.
"Then what do I do now? I'm scared, but I also know that Mama is more scared than me. Only a year left, but I don't think I would be ready to let her go. I don't want my Mama to die."
At this, her tears rolled down uncontrollably. The thought of losing her mother was enough to make her cry helplessly.
Lu Qingfeng didn't stop her from crying, because just like her, he wasn't ready to accept that Yun Qingrong's life was about to end soon. Yun Qingrong had been a second mother to him growing up.
According to her medical records, the cancer cells she had were malignant and were starting to spread to her other organs. The only thing they could do now was to ease the pain she would suffer later.
As words were left unspoken, the only sound that could be heard in the room was the sound of Su Xiaofei's sobs.. She wanted to cry nonstop for now, because starting tomorrow, she needed to be strong for her mother.
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