"I have no idea how I was able to even eat more," I said holding my stomach which was now on fire because we were somehow able to complete the curry and rice. Honestly, I didn’t think we would be able to but Ai’s eating speed just hit to the level of knots and Iwaguchi-san is a different beast himself.
"Okay then, I’ll see you kids at the festival," he said parting ways with us. It was slowly getting late and we had to go and change our clothes.
The day has been pretty fun. We went and picked out yukata’s with Ai and his friends and well….Ai gets a bit out of control sometimes. I still feel those bites all over my neck. Didn’t know she was this desperate for my blood. We went to the mall and met Iwaguchi-san, got him some drip, Ai took me to a lingerie store, and then we had a stomach-destroying meal. So we didn’t have to pay the twenty thousand yen and even got our name in the hall of fame there.
"Hehehe, today’s day is so fun," Ai said giggling and holding onto me from the back. I don’t know how we got to this but she is having a complementary piggyback ride. Right after she almost killed me with that spicy curry and rice but I can’t really say no to her pleading face. Who can? She looks like a cute puppy asking for an upsie.
I think you get the point.
Now we were on our way to Asumi’s family-owned store. Honestly, I’m still baffled by just how big that store is. Back to our situation right now, the three girls were chatting amongst themselves and walking behind us while I and Ai on my back were in front of them. It was like a little walk to the store.
"So you are having fun today?" I asked her to reconfirm her statement.
"Yep," she said throwing her arms up in the air. God, she is so cute. "I am having so much fun today. I can’t even explain it in words. I can spend an entire day with Kazu-kun outside. I am so happy."
"But don’t we just spend entire days together in general?" I questioned.
"We do but not outside. Before we just stayed home because I was worried vampires are going to hurt us but now is a bit different. I’ve grown stronger since the past few months and I can take on a noble easily and protect you," she said flexing her biceps like a bodybuilder.
"And here I thought it was because I have gotten stronger too," I said, she is still the same.
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"You’ve grown stronger too but Kazu-kun doesn’t have as much experience as I do," she said in a matter-of-fact voice. She does have a point.
"So how strong have I gotten now?" I looked around to ask Ai and she started thinking.
"Hmmm, if I were to say. You would give some difficulty to me in a battle but I’m sure I can kill you without that much of a problem," she said those words with the purest smile. What a scary ability.
"Ahahaha," I nervously laughed.
I just asked how strong I have gotten. There was no need to bring the point of killing me here. Ah, well she does have a point. I am still far from being as strong as any of my allies. They all are monsters of their own kind, one is the strongest vampire hunter, the other is her partner, one is a noble and the one behind me is a half-vampire who is dead set on killing me if I show any interest in another girl. I am not even saying that lightly. I can see it in her eyes.
That look.
Though I noticed since the first time she broke into my room, I cannot get that out of my mind.
Those eyes, beautiful yet full of blood lust. Not hesitating to kill anyone with the coldest look. No matter who the person is. Ai is a very sensitive and hard person to handle and yes I can say that because that is the truth. I do need to be very careful at first about how I was treating her. Dealing with her was almost like dealing with a kid but that kid has the ability to eliminate you any time they feel like it.
I can understand why she is like that. I won’t say that anyone in her situation would turn out like that though. It is also part of her being a half-vampire. Being such a deadly creature. Ah, talking about her in this way does feel wrong but there is no better way to put it right now for me.
She is a deadly creature, not a vampire nor just a human. She is both and that’s what causes the problem. Neither of the two kinds wants her because of her other half. Vampires won’t accept her as their own since she is a vampire and it is the same for the humans because she is also a vampire. So she hides, from both sides.
All alone….all this time.
I looked back at her friends and seeing the careless smiles on their faces made me sad. They all don’t even know this part of Ai and I know Ai genuinely cares about these three. That’s where the problems arise. That also means she will try her best to make sure they are safe but if we think about it. One person can only protect so many. But she still tries with everything she has.
That’s where we both are different.
After all, we both are different people.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I will not try my hardest to protect every person I care about. I will, with everything I have, even if it means losing my life. The people around me gave me so much love and kindness. Made me feel like one of themselves. Though they are not a lot I don’t need anymore.
Natsumi-san, Iwaguchi-san, the Terajima family and Ai.
These people have given me a reason to keep going. When my parents were killed….right before my own two eyes. I was horrified, my body stood in place. I just saw mom and dad’s bodies fall down to the grown. The blood from the slashes splattered on my face. I remember perfectly that moment.
My body froze, my mind went blank and my eyes were shaky. My vision got a bit blurry and I did not move. I looked at my hands and then back to the two dead bodies and then the culprits.
Right then, horror turned into anger. An undiscovered feeling arose inside of me. It was scary, really scary but I felt it. At that moment, I did and I let that take me under control. Adrenaline started rushing into my body and my blood started boiling. It truly was a fearful feeling.
The feeling of revenge.
The feeling of hurting someone really bad.
The feeling to kill.
I haven’t been an innocent kid honestly. Yes, I did kill my sister without my parents knowing but I felt nothing while doing it. My mind was blank. I don’t even remember what exactly I did, how I moved, what I felt, or how helpless Yuna looked when I did that. All that was a blank. A black screen. Didn’t even feel like it was me doing it.
But that wasn’t the only time I had killed.
My eyes fell on a pebble on the ground and I picked it up. I threw the pebble at the head of one of the culprits in anger while the other two left really quickly. Annoyed, he looked around to see me. Right then, I ran at the guy with rage and he just kicked me in the chest launching me back and I hit my back on a pole.
"Huh, looks like the brat has some balls," he said looking at me pathetically. "I guess I’ll entertain this bastard and get back to the other two later."
Pain rushed through my body but at that moment, nothing could stop me. I got up and rushed at the person yet again and he punched me but I dodged it and got really close to him. My arm reached out for the knife in his pocket but he grabbed me by my shirt collar and threw me again the wall.
"You think you are some brave kid when you decided on doing it?" he said and kicked my stomach.
"Gah!" I coughed out blood.
"But no," he kicked me again, "you are", and again, "just a," and again, "stupid brat."
Again and again and again and again.
A barrage of kicks landed on my body. My bones were broken one by one. My body losing blood. My vision got blurred and when the person got tired, he stopped kicking and started breathing heavily. I lay there, motionless.
"Sigh, you are just another stupid brat who lets his emotions take over him," he said and spit on me and turned around.
My body hurt, everything little movement I did was so painful. Normally, a person shouldn’t have survived this. But I remember perfectly what happened. All those wounds I suffered started healing. My blood getting back to my body and my vision coming back to me. I remember what I did then. Just how terrifying I got.
Everything I looked at now was black and white. It was as if the other colors just left my eyes. I only saw things in a monochrome version but all the things were bordered with white color and the rest filled with black. I got up as the person looked around and then my body moved on its own. It was as if it knew what to do.
As if, it knew…..how to kill.
I rushed at the person, jumped up to his back, and dug my teeth into his neck.
"Argh, what the fuck?" he shouted and tried to shake me off his back. "Get, the fuck off of me! Argh."
And then….I ripped off his neck.
Even trying to remember those moments, my body gets the chills and I stop thinking about it. Reconciling those horrid memories just reminds me of what I am. Now everything is making sense to me. I have always been like this. A too was a terrifying creature, since birth but that was hidden from me.
When Natsumi-san arrived at the location, I was already on the ground with blood in my mouth. When I woke up, my head hurt like hell and I started crying due to the pain. It was as if all that memory was wiped off of my brain but slowly, as things went on. They came back to me. But I said nothing and they kept me under special care and Natsumi-san became my official guardian.
I was scared.
So scared that I didn’t know what to do anymore.
So scared that I didn’t want to live anymore.
I thought I was a monster and I should hide it.
And so I did.
The secret they hid from me, I hid that secret from the entire world. For my own good.
I am a monster, a being who shouldn’t be alive. Sometimes I feel like all this is my fault. Maybe it is. Maybe things would have been so much better if I wasn’t born.
I looked back at Ai’s smiling face and smiled seeing it.
So as similar as we are, there is a big difference between us. And that difference is about the people. Ai will try to protect everyone with she cares about with her life and not care at all about herself. But I care about my life too. I am not emotional but a bit more practical. If I’m doing something, I have to be sure that the outcome is very likely and that both I and the person come out of it alive.
Ai moves on emotions, I act on logic because only I did let my emotions take over me.
And I realized, just how horrid of a creature I am.
Way scarier than what anyone can become.
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