"Didn’t know you even talk to cats Kazu-kun," I said standing from the door. Kazu-kun looked in my direction and he gave me a soft smile. Even though he was trying his best, I couldn’t help but notice something very important.
He was in pain.
He pats the side right next to him on the bed and I walked over there and sat down without saying much. I turned my eyes toward him but he was not really looking in my direction. His eyes were dead set on a spot on the wall which I don’t seem to find. Even though he is looking at it, his eyes were truly looking at something far from that. I could see he was deep in thought.
"Kazu-kun?" I called his name but he did not respond to me. "Kazu-kun…?"
Again, I got no response.
"Kazu-kun!" I said his name louder but…again…no response.
Argh, stop ignoring me!!
"KAZU-KUN!" I shouted his name this time and pushed him down on the bed. He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me. His eyes were scanning the situation and couldn’t understand what was going on.
"Ai…?" he called out my name in a weak voice. Why? Just why? Why is he being like this? There are things about him I don’t know yet and those are the things that were hurting him and I couldn’t just bear seeing this. I have always been around Kazu-kun during every moment of his life since I first met him, his birthdays, Natsumi-san’s birthdays, Kazu-kun changing schools, when he went on the stage some times to perform, and even…when his parents were killed.
I was right there the entire time.
I overlooked the entire incident from the rooftop of the building adjacent to it. Through a little window, I saw everything that happened that day. His friends who were captured, how those bastards just left him, how he was tortured by those vampires, and how her parents got killed right before his eyes but, I never did anything about it. I couldn’t.
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Even if I wanted to jump in and save Kazu-kun that day so that things wouldn’t have gotten to this point, I would have been killed myself. I was still a very young vampire and handling fights against other vampires was still something that was hard to deal with. There were five vampires in that building that day and every single one of them was strong…especially the one who was in the control. He let out a strong and ominous aura that would just kill anyone within a blink of an eye. I could never really pinpoint why that was the case though but I was scared to enter the place.
As a kid, my will for my own survival was still very strong and even so, I was not just ready to throw myself headfirst into a situation knowing I will be killed instantly. Those times were the ones that made me hate being so weak. I saw Kazu-kun cry for days, loathe himself for going there and put all of the blame on hi-
Wait, is he? No way.
He is putting the entire blame on himself. But what exactly is it? What is the thing he is blaming himself for?
I don’t know.
It pisses me off.
"Hey Ai, mind getting off me? I don’t mind the view but I can’t really do it right now," Kazu-kun said casually trying to make a straight face but it could not fool me.
"And what about the thought you are having in your mind? You think I will just let you wallow away in pain and suffering just like that?" I spoke out every word that was going through my mind. Seeing him as this hurt me from the start but I kept it in. I don’t want Kazu-kun to be like this. If I could take all his sufferings away from him at this moment, I would without even a second thought. I have to. I can’t let him hurt himself inside.
Not again.
"Hey, Kazu-kun…" I said with my voice cracking a little. "Can we just talk?"
"Talk about what though?" he replied.
"About you, about what’s going on in your mind. I can’t bear to see you like this. You are not looking at me, even right now," I said to him and his eyes looked to the side.
"But I am, looking at you…"
"No, you are not," I said a bit more forcefully grabbing his face and making him face me. "Look at me Kazu-kun, look into my eyes and tell me, what is going on with you?"
"Ever since you came across that man, something about you has changed. You are not being you," I explained and Kazu-kun looked confused. "How long did you hide the fact that you were turning into a vampire? Or the fact that the man had challenged you? How long?"
"I…"
"Why are you hiding things from me? Do you not trust me?" I asked with my heart sinking with each word that I said.
"I did it so I would not worry you," he spoke his mind and the words couldn’t have been colder than that. I grabbed his face and smashed my lips against his. Kazu-kun got surprised by that and tried to react but it was already too late.
He is an idiot sometimes.
"I will always worry about you," I said stopping the kiss. "Not one second has gone by when I didn’t worry about you. Every time I am with you and even when I am not, I am worried about you. Why do you not get it?"
"Then I want to lessen your worries so I am not that big of a burden," Kazu-kun shouted and I paused my thoughts for one second. He really said that, he really did say that. I could see the frustration on his face building up with each second passing. "Do you know how it feels to have everyone do most of the things for you? So far, what have I ever done that could make a big difference in the things that are going on with my life? I couldn’t even protect the ones that were dear to me. My parents, Yuna, and I could not save anyone. Do you think I am some normal human with just the blood of the first? No, Ai. I am way more than that. I have seen what I am capable of."
"What are you even saying anymore Kazu-kun? This doesn’t make any sense," I said completely flabbergasted by the words that were coming out of his mouth. How did these thoughts make their way into his mind? Why is he thinking that?
"It won’t make any sense because Ai you are not me. I am me and I know what is going on with me. I know best what is happening to my body and what I am turning into. I am no ordinary human. I am a filthy monster who deserves death over anything el- "
SLAP
Without realizing it, my hand moved involuntarily across his face and I made contact. Now I don’t even care what he is thinking anymore. He is wrong. Straight up wrong.
"Huh?" Surprised by this sudden turn of events, he held his face where I slapped him and I could see something breaking right inside of me realizing what I did.
"I…" I held my mouth with my hand and got off him. What was I doing? "I’m sorry…"
I got off the bed and ran out the door. I could hear the footsteps of Kazu-kun right behind me but at that one moment…nothing could be heard by my ears. I wanted to escape from all this. Kazu-kun isn’t the only one who was acting a bit weird, it was me too. Ever since I got face-to-face with Dominic, I could not stop myself from overthinking everything. Be scared of everything.
I cried in Kazu-kun’s arms just this afternoon because I know the fear, I felt of losing him was not irrational. I fought this man and even for a brief second, I have never felt this overwhelmed by any other vampire in my entire life. if I would have slipped even a little, my head would be off my shoulder.
No, even without that, I would be dead.
And that scared me. I don’t know what’s going on at this moment, but my mind was just screaming one thing at me.
Get away from everything.
So, I did. I ran outside the door. Looked around and jumped out the window. Even though we were on the top floor, this height was nothing to me. I started sprinting in a random direction with no goal in mind.
What am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
Someone, please tell me what’s going on.
Help me, Kazu-kun.
"AI!" I heard his voice right behind me and he was running as fast as he could. Slowly, yet steadily he was catching up to me. My instant response at that point was to slow down but the moment I got a look in his eyes, I couldn’t. I couldn’t slow down.
"AKIRA!" Kazu-kun shouted and right in front of me, appeared the brown-eyed noble. As if knowing what was going on, she started to pull all the air around her into a big spear.
No, you will not.
"Out of the way, now!" I shouted.
My eyes started to glow and I felt a wave of energy go right through my body. The blood in me started to pump faster and my green eye hurt a little. Obeying my order, Akira stopped her attack and stepped aside. I dashed right through her and jumped over to a building and kept running.
I looked behind me and both Kazu-kun and Akira were nowhere to be seen. I took a sigh of relief but kept running. Tears were welling up in my eyes and I no longer knew where I was even going.
"That was quite the display you showed there, Ai," I heard a voice right next to my ears. I stopped in my tracks and a big shiver ran down my spine. No… "I half expected something like this to happen. Both you and Shiba Kazuki are on the edge. All you needed was one more push for this to work."
"Huh?" I couldn’t think straight about what was going on but a surge of anger flowed through my blood. "YOU BASTARD!!"
I activated my daggers and sliced at him but he easily dodged both of the attacks easily. He ducked down and punched me right in my stomach knocking my sense out for a second. I got kicked on the side which threw me against the wall.
"Looks like you have gotten a new toy," the man said picking up my daggers which fell down on the ground. "Quite the beauty aren’t they? Just like you."
His eyes got locked onto me and he had a sly grin on his face. It disgusted me to see that.
"Well, I think it’s time to go on with the plan," he said and started walking towards me. Instinctively, I tried getting up and getting away from him.
Fear.
That is the only thing that can explain what I was feeling then. The man right in front of me was the embodiment of all my fears. He was the root cause of all it and he was taking full advantage of it.
No.
Don’t come close.
Go away!
GO AWAY!
Save me.
Please.
Kazu-kun.
"AI!" I heard Kazu-kun’s voice again and he appeared right in front of us with Akira. His eyes got fixed on the man and he grit his teeth and started glaring at the man. "DOMINIC!!"
"We don’t have time for this anymore," the man said picking me up by my hair. It hurts, it hurts like hell.
"YOU BASTARD!" Kazu-kun shouted and sliced at him but instead of blocking or dodging. He pulled me up and placed me right in front of him. The blade stopped just millimeters from touching my forehead and I got a closer look at his face. "Oh, you didn’t just do that…"
He got even more furious and attacked Dominic but again, he put me right in front of Kazu-kun’s attacks. He stopped right before the blade could touch me and it made him even angrier.
"Well, time to leave now," the man said, and suddenly…
I blacked out.
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