Yang Ge knew that this Pei Yu who addressed him as Eunuch Wang was merely going through the motions in Lai Lu Ting.
The eunuch made no effort to conceal it, boldly declaring to everyone as soon as he reached the post station with practiced ease, "Gentlemen, rest assured, I am merely going through the motions. Continue the music, continue the dance..."
But the thing about bottom lines is, from the day they were conceived, they were meant to be constantly pushed downward, shattered anew.
The eunuch vividly taught Yang Ge a lesson: what it means to go through the motions!
The first day, the eunuch arrived at the post station in the west suburbs.
Yang Ge thought the man would merely wash off the road dust at the post station and then enter the city looking spotless.
After all, no matter how charmingly the area around the post station was maintained, it was still in the middle of nowhere, right?
Well, he didn’t!
Instead, he spent the entire day and night at the post station, drinking, dancing, and having a merry time.
Yang Ge ended up standing in the freezing cold, waiting for them day and night.
Early the next morning, the imperial envoy’s grand procession finally made its majestic entry into Luting County.
Yang Ge then thought that the eunuch would at least first visit the county government office, review all the paperwork, put on a show of due diligence, right?
Well, he didn’t!
Upon entering the city, he headed straight to the Lu Ting post station, burying his head in sleep as soon as he arrived, and thus slept another entire day and night!
How did Yang Ge know that the eunuch had slept in the inn for a whole day and night?
The extravagant dishes kept being sent to the post station like flowing water, getting cold and then sent back out unchanged, replaced by identical hot dishes and sent back in... a ceaseless delivery for a whole day and night!
You ask why he knew!
This time Yang Ge smartened up. Seeing that it was almost dark, he handed over the guard duties to Gu Tong and promptly made a quick exit!
Truth be told, the personal safety of that eunuch wasn’t their small number of guards’ concern.
As an imperial envoy representing the emperor, the eunuch was surrounded by a full eight hundred fully armed imperial guards for protection.
Though Yang Ge was unsure about the fighting capabilities of those imperial guards.
But he was certain that if even those eight hundred imperial guards couldn’t protect the eunuch, throwing in fifty of Luting’s imperial guards wouldn’t make any difference!
So, their participation in guarding was merely a matter of form.
The imperial guards were the personal guards of the emperor. The imperial envoy representing the emperor meant the personal safety should ideally be their responsibility.
Since it was just a formality... With the eunuch slacking off to the point of playing dead, what could one expect from Yang Ge’s attitude?
By the third day, the man finally seemed to remember his mission from the capital and began to attend to his duties...
Yang Ge inquired around and learned that the eunuch, disguised along with a group of imperial guards, had gone to the grain market, posing the ’three existential questions’ to anyone he met.
"Is the grain expensive?"
"Is there a lack of grain?"
"Is the grain easy to buy?"
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What could Yang Ge say?
Could he literally grab the eunuch by the neck, shove him into a latrine, and ask if he believes everyone who comes here comes only to defecate and urinate?
He couldn’t!
No one can wake a person who is pretending to sleep.
So, Yang Ge decided he could no longer afford to waste precious time accompanying the eunuch in his charades.
Time to slack off!
Definitely slack off!
From his subordinates, he picked a strongman whose build was not much different from his own and painstakingly coached him for five minutes before sending him out with his own ghastly half-face mask to take his place.
What can be taught in just five minutes?
Yang Ge taught him five phrases.
The first three were for dealing with the eunuch.
The first phrase: "Ah, yes, yes, what you teach is correct!"
The second phrase: "Ah, right, right, everything you say is correct!"
The third phrase: "This officer acknowledges his mistakes..."
The last two phrases were for dealing with anyone other than the eunuch.
The first was: "None of your business!"
The second was: "None of my business!"
Five phrases, five minutes, more than enough.
Why was Yang Ge so audacious?
In terms of rank and authority, in Luting County aside from the imperial envoy impersonating deity, Yang Ge was the highest in command.
Why couldn’t he be audacious?
When the double first started his role, Yang Ge asked Fang Ke every day if the double had made any blunders.
But each time, Fang Ke assured him: not only were there no blunders, but ever since the double started, the eunuch looked at "him" with much softer eyes...
Convinced by the repeated answers, Yang Ge stopped asking after three or four days, reasoning that the eunuch had only seen him a couple of times anyway, and always with a mask on, so what harm could come of it?
In truth, during the initial days the double had started, there had indeed been several minor slips.
Such as not knowing when to respond "yes, yes, yes", or when to answer "right, right, right".
Or having insufficient confidence, not saying "None of your business" and "None of my business" with enough conviction to make it seem effortless.
But all those were smoothly covered up by Fang Ke on the side, unbeknownst to others.
And the reason Fang Ke lied to Yang Ge...
Was obviously because he felt it was riskier to let Yang Ge himself take up the post!
Ever since he’d spoken nonsense that one time, Fang Ke wasn’t sure whether it was his own biased preconception or his direct superior genuinely found the eunuch disagreeable.
Either way, he felt that Yang Ge’s gaze towards the eunuch was off, seriously off!
It was dark and sinister.
Like looking at a dead man...
Especially Yang Ge’s submissive attitude towards the eunuch disturbed Fang Ke even more.