Wuxia: Drinking with Spring Breeze

Chapter 48 - 43 Living is worse than dying_2
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Jiang Kui unexpectedly glanced at him and smiled silently with his mouth agape, "That doesn’t seem like the attitude a subordinate should have!"

Yang Ge picked up a piece of lamb with his chopsticks and placed it into the boiling copper pot. After swishing it around, he placed it into Jiang Kui’s bowl and stirred in some sauce before making a "please" gesture, "Try this!"

Jiang Kui still picked up his chopsticks, took the piece of lamb, chewed it twice, and immediately gave a thumbs-up, "Tender, really tender!"

Yang Ge sat down across from him, picked up his own bowl, and started mixing his sauce, "You and your brothers really put me through the wringer!"

Jiang Kui chuckled, "Isn’t that why I’ve come to apologize?"

Yang Ge, "You want to know what your two brothers had me tell you, right?"

Jiang Kui, "No wonder Shen always says you’re exceptionally smart!"

Yang Ge took the chopsticks he was using to mix the sauce, tasted it, and added a bit more vinegar, "You’re elder... Lei told me to tell you he knows, said he’s going home to wait for you, told you to rest well and to come back home alive!"

Jiang Kui fell silent for a moment upon hearing this. He grabbed the wine jug beside him, popped it open roughly, and took a big gulp, exhaling alcohol breath as he said, "Tell me in detail, go on!"

Yang Ge thought for a moment and recounted the events of the day Lei Heng and Liu Meng came knocking, describing them to Jiang Kui as thoroughly as possible.

As he spoke, he didn’t forget to keep swishing lamb in the pot for his bowl... having been busy for most of the day, he was genuinely hungry.

Jiang Kui listened attentively, just kept drinking without touching the chopsticks in front of him.

When Yang Ge finished, Jiang Kui suddenly laughed bizarrely, "You’re lucky!"

Yang Ge, "This is lucky?"

Jiang Kui, after taking a big gulp of alcohol, chuckled, "If you hadn’t used that Chaotic Wind Leg that day, you’d have died on the spot!"

Yang Ge finally had a pang of conscience and picked some lamb meat for him, "What do you mean?"

Jiang Kui still hadn’t touched his chopsticks, leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, and murmured, "Number five has a fierce personality and a short temper, he came with the intent to kill me for sure, the elder is more magnanimous, but if number five wants somebody dead, he won’t stop him, they saw you use the Chaotic Wind Leg, and only then did they suppress their killing intent..."

Yang Ge, resisting the urge to point out this guy’s penchant for nonsense, shook his head while swishing lamb in the pot, "I don’t get it."

Jiang Kui once again took a swig from the jug, spoke more gently, "Want to hear how we brothers fell out?"

Yang Ge, "If you want to talk, I’m all ears!"

Jiang Kui "heh"ed, his gaze grew distant, and after a while, he shook his head, "Never mind, I don’t want to talk about it anymore!"

Yang Ge, who had been waiting with a piece of lamb for a long time, couldn’t help but protest, "That’s not fair, getting someone curious and then not finishing the story, are you just playing with me?"

Jiang Kui silently laughed, took a few more drinks from the jug, and then asked weakly, "You know something about the battle at Lü Mountain, right?"

"Somewhat!"

Yang Ge added some more lamb meat to his bowl, "Don’t just drink alcohol, have some bites of food!"

Saying this, he opened a new jug of wine, poured a bowl, and downed it in one go... Hmm, it was a bit sweet, easier on the throat than white liquor, stronger than beer.

Jiang Kui still didn’t touch his chopsticks, started speaking to himself, "Outside the Great Wall in that godforsaken place, human lives are as cheap as grass, the gods take lives when displeased, the Tartars take lives when displeased, and the damn border army takes lives when displeased..."

"We brothers never thought of making a big name for ourselves, just wanted to find a place not governed by heaven or earth, drink freely, eat heartily, and if we saw someone we didn’t like, we’d just give them a slice!"

"We fought the Tartars, they just pride themselves on fast sabers, killing like mowing the grass, right?"

"Our blades were faster than theirs, cutting them down like mowing grass!"

"We also fought the imperial troops, a bunch of good-for-nothings, losing battles is one thing, but losing their dignity altogether!"

"And they had the nerve to secretly pay tribute to the Tartars? Fuck their grandmothers!"

"Thinking back, those days were damn good..."

"Wake up, mount a fast horse, go out and chop people!"

"Come home, eat my fill of meat and drink, then fall asleep immediately!"

"Don’t think about anything."

"Fear no one."

"I still don’t understand to this day, we are such scum who can’t even figure out ourselves, why would so many be willing to follow us..."

"The Tartars bullied them, the border army bullied them, didn’t we bully them too?"

"The Tartars robbed them, the border army robbed them, didn’t we rob them too?"

"Why are they so spineless?"

"And yet, they made clothes for us, raised chickens and ducks, cooked and did laundry, clearly scared to death, yet they still insisted on carrying broken sticks to fight the Tartars to the death with us..."

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"They didn’t even take a good look at themselves, what kind of stuff are they made of? We’re the renowned ’Five Ghosts of Yan Yun,’ do we need their protection?"

The more Jiang Kui talked, the hoarser his voice became, and the more fragmented his spirit and vigor seemed.

He stretched his wide mouth, trying to squeeze out a smile, but it looked like a ghastly grin from a demon that devours children.

These words had been suffocating in his heart for far too long.

He had been holding them in until he fell ill, until it drove him mad!

"It’s all their fault..."

"If it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t have robbed the Tartars’ supplies!"

"If not for them, could the Tartars have surrounded us, a group of five brothers?"

"Damn it, making stupid mistakes is one thing, but how could they mess up at such a critical time?"

"Didn’t they see that the Tartars had brought thirty thousand troops?"

"Fighting with your lives on the line!"

"You guys are indeed dead and gone..."

"Don’t you motherfuckers drag us down with you!"

"Do we owe you from a previous life?!"

"Twenty thousand people, twenty thousand people!!!"

"Gone overnight..."

"Big brother dragged me to break out, and I was lying on the horseback, seeing corpses scattered across the mountains, black smoke rising everywhere..."

"You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but I saw those who had made clothes for me, raised chickens and ducks for me, cooked and washed for me, called me the ’second boss,’ addressed me as ’second grandpa,’ floating in the black smoke, crying, shouting for me to leave..."

"But where could I go?"

"You all were picked up one by one and brought back to Lü Mountain by us!"

"If you don’t leave, where the hell can I go?"

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"But how did I manage to survive?"

Jiang Kui, embracing the wine jar, lay back in his chair, yelling hoarsely, and his tear-streaked face made it unclear whether it was wine or tears.

Yang Ge sat quietly with him, accompanying him as he drank sip by sip.

Only, he didn’t know why, the wine that tasted a bit sweet just now had turned so bitter and astringent.

He drank until he felt a bit breathless, as if there was a huge stone pressing on his chest.

After a while, Jiang Kui finally wiped his face dry and sat up, revealing an ugly smile, and softly said, "Little fifth holds a grudge against me, hates me, I know, with so many dead, if he doesn’t find someone to hate, he can’t live on, with big brother around, I left, so he can only hate me..."

"Big brother would definitely have been able to persuade little fifth, but it seems he too wanted to see me, so he followed little fifth here. But after seeing you, he probably felt there was no need to see me anymore..."

Yang Ge silently lifted his wine bowl and clinked it with Jiang Kui’s.

Even though what Jiang Kui said was fragmented and confused.

He still understood.

Chaotic Wind Leg was the signature skill of the fourth brother, who died in the battle at Lü Mountain.

Lei Heng and Liu Meng had seen Chaotic Wind Leg on him, and knew, Jiang Kui had never let them go...

Perhaps this is what friendship between men is like, seemingly clear and tasteless like water.

When you genuinely reflect on it, you realize it’s burning...

Jiang Kui lifted the wine jar and took a drink with Yang Ge.

Yang Ge filled his own bowl to the brim, hesitated for a moment, then still asked in a low voice, "I still don’t understand, why did you choose to disband the group in the first place?"

Considering Lei’s demonstration of loyalty, he wouldn’t have been one to give up on seeking revenge.

If everyone wanted revenge, why disband?

Jiang Kui lifted the wine jar and clinked it with Yang Ge’s, whispering, "I’ve just come to understand one thing."

Yang Ge: "What’s that?"

After taking a big gulp of wine, Jiang Kui casually stated, "To stop living that way, you’ve got to choose a different way to die."

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