Chapter 75: Chapter 68: Good and Good
"Are you here because something has happened in the Sect?"
Having concluded their previous topic, Qing Xuan Master asked Xu Ran.
At Qing Xuan Master’s words, Xu Ran hesitated. He hadn’t yet decided whether he should bring up what Wang Xiaohu had told him.
Now, seeing his Master in this state... ’How can I possibly bring myself to say it?’
’Am I supposed to let my Master, in his condition, seek justice for the families of the disciples who were killed or wounded?’
’How could I have the heart to do that?’
Qing Xuan Master watched Xu Ran’s reaction. His eyes, already prominent from his sunken cheeks, stared right at him as he said:
"Do you wish for me to depart with regrets?"
Xu Ran’s heart jolted at those words. He knew his Master’s temperament; for him to say such a thing meant he was truly angry.
However, it wasn’t his Master’s anger that made his heart pound, but the words themselves.
He took a deep breath to compose himself and, in the calmest voice he could manage, recounted the matter Wang Xiaohu had mentioned.
After hearing Xu Ran’s story, Qing Xuan Master sighed, his expression deeply stirred. In a complex tone, he murmured, "To think that something like this has happened..."
Seeing his reaction, Xu Ran hesitated for a moment before asking:
"Master, what are you planning to do?"
Qing Xuan Master fell silent for a short while. Instead of answering, he looked at Xu Ran and said, "Tell me your thoughts on the matter."
"Well..."
Xu Ran hesitated. It was a difficult question to answer. The Sect’s resources were finite. On one hand, there were the current disciples living in the Sect; on the other, there were the fallen disciples who had bled and sacrificed for the Sect, along with their families. Both were precious; it was an impossible choice.
Seeing his hesitation, Qing Xuan Master waved a hand. "Speak your mind. In my current state, even if what you say displeases me, I can hardly punish you. There’s no need to hold back."
Seeing his Master’s gesture, Xu Ran felt he had no other choice but to honestly state his thoughts.
"Your disciple believes the Sect’s actions are not wrong. Given the Sect’s current situation, we must prioritize resources for the active disciples’ cultivation."
"Oh? Explain your reasoning."
Xu Ran let out a soft breath. "Between morality, survival, and the future, survival must be the top priority, followed by the future, and finally, morality."
"If we compare the Sect to a ship with finite resources, we must prioritize ensuring the rowers have enough strength to keep going. Only then can the ship stay afloat and perhaps, eventually, rescue those who have fallen overboard. On the other hand, if we use all our resources for compensation, the ship will instantly lose power, and everyone aboard will sink with it."
"It may seem unfair to those who bled and sacrificed for the Sect, but there is no perfect, all-encompassing solution in this world. Sacrifices must always be made."
Xu Ran looked at Qing Xuan Master and said quietly, "Master, that is my answer. What are your thoughts?"
Qing Xuan Master smiled faintly. "You don’t need to worry that I’ll be angry. On this issue, neither choice is wrong."
"When faced with two choices, both rooted in compassion, there is no need for excessive hesitation. You simply need to follow your heart."
Hearing this, Xu Ran nodded slightly, then stared intently at Qing Xuan Master and asked, "In that case, Master, which one does your heart lean toward?"
This was the question that truly concerned him. For him, if he were the one making the choice, there wouldn’t be much to hesitate about. If the Sect’s very survival wasn’t secured, then even if they compensated the fallen disciples, the Sect would ultimately just head for ruin.
But Qing Xuan Master was a sentimental man. That much was clear from the very Cultivation Technique he had created.
’I can’t bear to see him, in this state, turn against the Sect. I just hope that in the time he has left, he can quietly enjoy the happiness he has now.’
Qing Xuan Master studied his expression, then spoke after a moment of silence.
"If even you can see this clearly, how could I not? Just as you said, while it is unfair to the disciples who sacrificed themselves, the Sect’s first priority is its own survival. Only if the Sect survives can we guarantee everyone’s well-being in the long run."
"So, I’m afraid I must let down those disciples who were hoping I would stand up for them and seek justice."
Hearing this answer, Xu Ran couldn’t help but let out a long sigh of relief.
’That’s good. Now I don’t have to worry so much.’
Still, Qing Xuan Master’s answer surprised him. He had thought that, given his Master’s character, he would have chosen to stand up for the families of the fallen disciples. He would have done so out of his personal convictions, even knowing the Sect’s decision was the correct one.
Qing Xuan Master saw Xu Ran’s reaction, pondered for a moment, and then added a word of caution. "However, if anyone else asks, just say you haven’t seen me."
He explained, "Given my reputation, they will never believe this was my decision. They’ll just assume you’re embellishing things or twisting the truth, and they’ll end up blaming you for it."
He let out a long sigh. "I have failed their expectations. It’s better if I just hide away."
"I understand." Xu Ran nodded, his heart touched. ’Even now, my Master is still looking out for me.’
Qing Xuan Master gave a slight nod, then waved a hand. "That will be all. I’m feeling tired."
"Then I shall take my leave."
"Mm. Don’t feel you have to visit often. Seeing you too much will only annoy me and disturb my peace. If anything happens, I’ll have my wife contact you. I won’t let you miss my final moments."
"Master..."
"Go on." Qing Xuan Master waved his hand.
"Then... please take care."
*
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*
Xu Ran’s heart was heavy after he left Qing Xuan Master.
Qing Xuan Master had developed the idea of starting a family because of Little Xiyue. Xu Ran certainly didn’t blame Little Xiyue, but he couldn’t help but wonder, ’If I hadn’t brought Little Xiyue along to sit in on his lessons back then, would things have turned out differently?’
But Qing Xuan Master himself had said he didn’t regret his choice, only that he hadn’t made it sooner. That way, he could have enjoyed his current happiness for even longer.
Xu Ran wished his Master could have had a different fate, but Qing Xuan Master himself said he was very happy now. It was an impossible tangle of emotions. Of course, the best outcome would have been for Qing Xuan Master to both find his current happiness and successfully break through to the Nascent Soul Stage.
Alas, life is unpredictable. The final outcome of many things cannot be controlled by personal will alone.
This meeting made Xu Ran feel that Qing Xuan Master had truly changed a great deal. ’Take that dilemma earlier. The Master I remember would have stood up for them, even if he knew the Sect’s path was the logically correct one.’
But a sliver of doubt remained in his heart. ’Was that what his Master truly believed? Or was he just saying it for my benefit?’
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