Chapter 98: 81.3 - GUILT
The next morning, I opened my eyes wide. It felt like waking from a coma—but my head was buzzing, and my body ached as if it had been used as a punching bag.
I couldn’t recall the details of last night, but... what was clear was that it felt like being pricked by needles countless times.
Syringes, I mean. Or... well, I don’t know. Perhaps, being torn apart by a horde of psycho rabbits in lab coats.
I blinked.
Slowly, I looked around.
"Ugh, where am I... now?" I mumbled, holding my head, which felt as heavy as if it were weighted down by a thesis.
The familiar bedroom ceiling.
My flat.
Thank goodness. I was still alive.
Maybe I made it home after the graduation party. Maybe I was just... really drunk. And this was all just an overly realistic nightmare.
But that sense of relief quickly crumbled like a Jenga tower with a block pulled out.
Because...
Beside me, a human lay.
More precisely—a man.
It’s Satoko.
Without a single piece of clothing on his body. Only covered by... well, my blanket.
WAIT. WHAT?!
I nearly choked on my own breath. No no no, don’t tell me...
No way. Don’t tell me I—
I thought it was a dream?! A dream that was too real?!
And if it was real... I swear, I wouldn’t forgive myself.
I spontaneously sat up, stiff as a statue, then... dared to glance down.
Nothing there. Meaning... I was also stark naked.
Maybe... we just slept together. Literally. Slept. Just lying down.
...Then I saw his neck.
Scratch marks. And... oh God.
And... was there a mark on my neck too?
A hickey?!
Okay. Breathe in. Breathe out.
This is crazy. This is truly... happening.
And judging by the forensic evidence scattered around—clothes strewn haphazardly, bodies tangled like...
Our clothes were scattered like a puzzle thrown by a two-year-old.
T-shirts, pants, bras, lab coats—yes, even a lab coat—all strewn about like silent witnesses to a tragedy.
I don’t know. Even mating animals might be more organized than this.
Did I not have a brain yesterday?!
Please, this isn’t a scene from a soft-core adult film, right?
If this is just a set-up? I need to ask Satoko as soon as possible.
"I... I couldn’t have..." I mumbled. But the sound was almost drowned out by the thundering pulse of shame in my chest.
And yes, just as that thought crossed my mind, he started to stir.
His arms stretched out, his body slowly writhing, signs of waking up.
Without his glasses, his face looked far more... deadly. Not just ordinarily handsome. This was the kind of handsome that could end careers.
Since when did I realize that?
Is this what people call... a chemical reaction? But... why did it have to be with him?
I never loved him.
...Okay, I lied. ARE YOU HAPPY, ALL OF YOU?!
That was a big lie, and I’m a coward.
If you’re a girl and have ever been within a meter of Dr. Satoko Kazuma, you’d instantly lose your balance. Law of nature.
But the worst part was, the deepest part of me—the part that secretly enjoys absurd things—actually cried out:
"He deserves it. You like him. You’ve always liked him."
And unfortunately... it was true.
I had fallen in love with Satoko. A long time ago.
I had been lying to myself for a long time.
But the problem was... I also knew I was nobody.
But me? I’m just... the embodiment red flag.
Not a green flag like him.
Satoko is... the world’s carbon-absorbing tropical forest.
Me? Leaking greenhouse gas.
So why could I like him? Wasn’t I the type who didn’t care about looks?
Or... maybe I do care. I’m just afraid. Afraid that if I truly fall, he won’t catch me.
But... that night, he clearly didn’t refuse.
My cheeks suddenly felt hot.
Damn it.
So embarrassing.
Incredibly shameful.
"Screw the world, what?! ’If I hate myself, please don’t leave me tomorrow.’ What was that?!"
Damn, those words that came out of my own mouth last night...
Crazy. I could vomit blood just thinking about it.
And that voice was interrupted because—
"Oh, Kairi? You’re awake, darling?"
He was still half-conscious, his eyes not fully open, but he still managed to stretch and... yawn.
"Darling, my ass!"
Without thinking, I hit him with a pillow. Right in the face. Serves him right.
But his expression remained calm. Serene. Still Satoko.
"What’s wrong with you, Kairi?"
"Shut up!" I cut him off, my face burning hot.
He actually... hugged me from behind.
His chest pressed against my bare back. It felt like... my nervous system crashed.
"Didn’t you ask me to stay with you, hmm?" he whispered, almost in my ear.
And my ear immediately... boiled.
"You should have stopped! Why did it get so... out of hand like this?!"
"I told you to stop. Many times. But you kept asking."
"...You’re lying."
Then...
A voice recording played.
"Nggghhh, this feels so good! Don’t stop, my love~!"
...
Damn it. He. Recorded. Everything.
I immediately screamed at the top of my lungs, "
"DID YOU JUST RECORD IT?"
"Yes."
"SATOKO!!!"
Still half-asleep but with alert eyes, he calmed me down,
"Relax, Kairi. I’ll explain."
My heart pounded, the recording’s sound like a bomb about to explode.
I was still in denial.
"Don’t lie! Why did you record that?"
Satoko gave a slight smirk, "I saved it just in case you had questions later. It wouldn’t be good if only your memories were a mess."
I glared, "Prove it then! I need forensic evidence! Not just talk!"
He glanced at the bed, then slowly lifted the sheet and...
"There’s a trace of your virginity blood here. So, this is enough proof, right?"
I frowned, "Huh, that could be an old wound from days ago, not necessarily from last night!"
Satoko leaned closer, a mischievous smile spreading, "In that case, I’ll just check directly."
I was stunned when he suddenly put his hand into...
...well, my most private part. My face immediately turned as hot as an oven.
"Stop, Satoko! Don’t do that! I believe you now!"
But honestly, I was still grumbling to myself. I was half-conscious at the time, so... I didn’t understand much.
Satoko quipped, "If you want to know what it feels like when you’re conscious, I can help.
So you can experience it yourself and not just be confused."
I immediately refused firmly, "No way! I don’t want to! It’s terrifying!"
But he teased, "Just relax. I promise I’ll make you comfortable."
Oh well. Anything to stop this headache, I guess.
And thus began the most absurd biology education session of my life.
But honestly,
The idea of me doing something so... intimate, and not even remembering it, was unsettling. But then, if I’d enjoyed it the first time, even without my conscious memory, what would it be like to experience it with my full senses?
"So," I began, my voice barely a whisper, mingling with the embarrassment.
"If... if I wanted to, you know... try it again? Just to, uh, see what it’s like when I’m, you know, awake?"
Satoko’s arms, loosely around my waist, tightened imperceptibly. He shifted behind me, his lips dangerously close to my ear.
"Are you sure, Kairi?" His voice was a low murmur, a sensual rumble that sent shivers down my spine.
"Because once you do, there’s no going back."
My heart hammered against my ribs. Every instinct screamed at me to say no, to recoil from this shocking suggestion
But another, more daring part of me—the part that had apparently decided to explore uncharted territories last night—was intrigued.
I took a shaky breath.
"Yes,"
"I... I want to try."
A soft, satisfied chuckle vibrated against my back. "As you wish, Kairi."
And so, for the second time, I found myself in a situation I never, in my wildest dreams, would have imagined.
This time, however, I was acutely, agonizingly aware of every single sensation.
Every touch, every movement, every gasp that escaped my lips. Satoko was patient, his instructions whispered, his encouragement a steady hum. It was nothing like the vague, jarring memory fragments I had.
It was... blisteringly intense.
A dizzying, overwhelming wave of unfamiliar pleasure made my mind reel even as my body responded in ways I never knew it could. My throat burned with the effort, a strange mix of gag reflex and primal instinct.
His scent, his taste, filled my senses, making my limbs tremble. My jaw ached, but I couldn’t stop, driven by the sheer, electric thrill of it.
I was hyper-aware of the texture, the pulsing warmth, the way he bucked against me. The negative pressure I created pulled him deeper, making him groan, and that sound alone sent a jolt straight through me, urging me on.
The world outside the bedroom faded away, replaced by a singular, all-consuming focus on the raw, undeniable sensations.
When it was over, I was left breathless, saliva-slicked, my body trembling, and my mind a chaotic whirlwind of shock, awe, and perplexity.
I lay there, draped over him, skin still prickling with a thousand phantom touches. My breath hitched, my lungs aching from the gasps I hadn’t realized I’d taken. The chaotic whirlwind in my mind slowly began to coalesce into a single, overwhelming thought.
"Satoko," I whispered, the word a raw rasp against my throat. I pushed myself up slightly, bracing on my elbows, and looked down at his face, still flushed, eyes half-lidded and heavy with a satisfaction that made my stomach clench.
"What... what was that?"
He just looked at me, a slow, knowing smile spreading across his lips.
"No, really," I pressed, a tremor running through me.
"It was... it was so much. Like... like I was split open. Not in a bad way, but just... exposed. Everything. Every nerve ending screaming. And that fullness... God, it felt like you were filling me up completely, stretching me to my limit. And then... when you moved... it was like a continuous, deep throb, just building and building. Every thrust went right through me, shaking my insides. And then that... that release. Like being shattered into a million pieces, only to snap back together. It was too much. I feel like I’m still vibrating inside."
"Oh, Kairi," he murmured, his voice a deep rumble that vibrated through my very core as he leaned closer, capturing my gaze. "You think that was ’too much’?"
He seized my hips, a swift, deliberate move, and slammed into me.
"SATOKO!"
I screamed, his powerful thrust stealing my breath, shocking my entire body. My eyes flew open; a silent scream caught in my throat.
It was brutal.
He moved with a deep, steady rhythm, driving into me with overwhelming intensity. Each thrust was deeper, harder, faster, pounding into me. I was driven back, his hips grinding into mine. My inner muscles clenched, ripping a sharp gasp from his lips.
My mind dissolved into pure sensation—a dizzying, savage ride. My hips bucked, a primal response to the relentless fucking that left me breathless, arching.
His thick shaft filled me completely, stretching me to my limit. I felt him scraping my cervix—almost painful, yet exquisite.
Friction built, a searing heat blossoming, making my clitoris throb. He groaned, fueling the intensity, pushing us deeper into this maelstrom.
Then, as pressure peaked, my body coiled tighter. Words ripped from me, unbidden, primal, shattering my control.
"Satoko, I love you! I love you so much! Oh, God, I love you Satoko~!"
I screamed, tearing from my lungs with each shuddering breath, my hips bucking wildly, desperately, meeting his furious pace.
Orgasmic contractions seized me, clenching around him, pulling him deeper. His own guttural roar joined my cries. It was a glorious, shattering oblivion. I felt a sudden gush, a warm, thick release filling me as he pumped relentlessly, emptying into mine.
