Chapter 97: Do you know if it’ll come true this time?
"Noah, why are you here anyway?" Michael asked and Noah sighed, pulling him closer.
"I told you I would come when it feels like you’re no longer upset." Noah said, but Michael darted his eyes away.
"Then you came at the wrong time. I’m still upset." Michael said.
He wanted to be stubborn. At least, he had the right to be stubborn.
"Is that so?" Noah asked. "But I don’t think you were upset a moment ago while you worried about the pancakes," he said, smiling softly at him and Michael blushed.
"Don’t... Don’t make things up." Michael said while trying to hide his blush. "It was only because I was hungry."
"Then, why didn’t you have the cake?" Noah asked. "Is it because you were still upset?"
Michael did not respond.
The reason he could not bring himself to eat the cake...
"You’re so mean." He suddenly said, his eyes tearing up but he covered his face.
This worried Noah. What was he hiding?
"How did you expect me to finish that cake by myself?" Michael asked and sniffed. "You wanted me to eat it alone? Why? You’re so cruel."
It was at that moment that Noah realized that Michael had not eaten the cake because he didn’t want to eat it alone.
This was still his birthday, so maybe he had waited for him tirelessly because he didn’t want to eat the cake alone. He didn’t want to be alone on this day, no matter how upset he was.
"I didn’t want to eat it alone." Michael said, showing his face and his teary eyes.
"I’m sorry," Noah said to him, holding him right and kissing the corner of his eye. "I didn’t mean it like that. Then, would you like to have the cake now? I’ll even sing you the birthday song I have been practicing."
"Pft," Michael suddenly stifled a laugh as he heard that. "You... Practiced a birthday song? Who does that?"
Noah had a subtle blush on his cheek. He had never sung one before, so of course, he had to practice.
He planned to sing it to Michael as he handed him the cake but it was unfortunate that things did not go his way.
"Sebastian," Noah called.
"Yes, sir?"
"Bring the cake from the refrigerator." He said and Sebastian dropped what was in his hand to bring forth the cake from the fridge.
He even brought a knife and a plate afterward. He didn’t need to be told to know what they needed.
"Would you like to blow out the candles once more?" Noah asked but Michael dropped his head back, his expression sullen.
"What’s the point?" He asked. "It’s not like any of my wishes come true?"
"Do you know if it’ll come true this time around?"
"It won’t." Michael said. He was all too certain that the wish he wanted to make would not come true.
Maybe it was because he always wished for unrealistic things. Maybe it was because he was never contented with the life he had been living. Who would be? Who would be contented with living a shitty life like that?
He wished for things to be different but they never were. He wished for the longest time, but where was his answer?
And just when he blew the 32 candles, he made a wish again. He wished that Noah would be by his side as soon as he woke up and all that was unreal.
But... It never came true.
"I don’t want to keep making wishes that will never come true. Wishes that get me hoping for something that will never come." He said, his voice sad and depressed. "I don’t want to make any more wishes, Noah."
Noah went silent. He had a feeling he knew the wish that Michael had in his heart presently. He, too, had that wish. But it was unfortunate that they wouldn’t be able to get that wish granted for the time being.
"I understand," Noah said. "Then, shall we go ahead and cut the cake?"
"First, since the birthday song you claimed to practice." Michael said, hoping if he heard Noah sing, he would feel much better.
"Ahem, alright. You’ll be the first to hear me sing so make sure to feel honored." Noah said.
"I’ll okay feel honored if the notes are worth listening to." Michael said and Noah pursed his lips.
"Fortunately, I’m not tone-deaf." Noah said and began to sing. "Happy Birthday, to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Michael. Happy birthday to you."
It was a simple birthday song that even a child knew.
"Is that it?"
How was it that he felt so proud practicing this birthday song?
"Should I sing the second verse?" Noah asked and wanted to resume the second verse when Michael laughed.
"Don’t." He said and kept laughing. "That’s enough. That’s..." He raised his hand, his body trembling as he laughed. "That’s enough." He said and without knowing, tears slid down from his eyes. "That’s enough, Noah. No more."
Noah held Michael, seeing the tears rolling down.
"Oh, Micheal." He covered his eyes with his hand and pressed his forehead on his. "I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."
Michael finally stopped laughing but the tears still flowed. Why was it like this?
He wanted to be happy. The song made him laugh too, so why was he crying?
His emotions were swirling painfully. His heart... It felt like it was shattering into pieces and as much as he tried to stack them together, the pieces ended up toppling over again.
They say a heart attack had been broken repeatedly and would always find a way to heal, but... Nothing could be done about the cracks that remained.
And the more cracks appeared in that fragile heart, the harder it was for it to be mended again.
Michael was going through a crisis. A crisis that got him torn between wanting to move on and forget and wanting to stay with Noah, despite all that happened and would happen in the future.
What was the right choice to make?
What choice wouldn’t end up with him being completely ruined?
"This is hard." He mumbled. "It’s very hard."
