Chapter 75: Haa, I seem to be going insane
Winter... Such a cold time of the year
Michael stopped looking, his heavy breath smoking out of his mouth thanks to the cold weather. He didn’t even wear his coat before running out, and it was late.
He had run quite fast and far, hoping to catch Nana’s taxi.
Where was he?
He wasn’t very familiar with this part of the city.
Michael looked around, feeling he had to go back the same way he came, but he couldn’t even recall the road he took to get there. At the very least, he could flag a taxi back to his hotel since he knew Pedro would take care of the rest at the funeral house.
"Atchew!" He sneezed and took out his phone. He didn’t have any reception, so he couldn’t even book a ride.
It was really cold, but he didn’t even know where to go from there. He had no choice but to walk. Maybe if he kept walking, he would eventually find a taxi.
So, he began to walk, getting to a bridge where the breeze was especially harsh and the cold was rampant.
"Atchew!" He sneezed once more.
His life felt so calm all of a sudden as he stared at the dark waters underneath him. It was scary, the water, he meant.
There were times when he actually gave jumping off a bridge a thought. Hanging himself, slitting his wrist, or even jumping from the top of his former company’s building.
He had a lot of such thoughts and confidently wanted to go through with it because of how hard his life was. How cruel his life was.
But now, just thinking about those things made him shiver in fear. He couldn’t even begin to imagine drowning, slitting his own wrist, or jumping off a building.
Had he been mad at the time? Suffering really made him go crazy, and because of that, because he was a victim of such pain, he somehow sympathized with those who ended up committing suicide.
They did not have a way to break through from whatever they were going through, and that was why they met their end.
But as Noah said, committing suicide was just a way of giving up and running away. A selfish act, a painful decision, and a cowardly one too.
He sighed. His hands felt cold, and his lips too.
How long did he need to keep walking? He was tired.
He wanted to get back to his hotel, soak himself in hot water, and then call Noah afterwards so he could hear his voice.
He missed him a lot. He wished he were there with him.
His nose suddenly twitched in the air. It was as if he could smell Noah’s scent in the air.
’Haa, I seem to be going insane,’ he thought and bowed his head.
Suddenly, someone draped a coat around his shoulder, causing his eyes to widen in shock, and he turned his head back to see who it was.
He wasn’t panicked. Maybe because he knew in his heart that the only one who would do such a warm and kind thing for him was Noah.
The only one who would wrap his big arms around him and drop his head on his shoulder like a lonely puppy.
"N-Noah?" Michael exclaimed, shocked.
Noah held him tight, his arms hugging around him.
"What are you doing here? No, how are you here?" Michael asked, unable to understand how Noah could find him and in a place he didn’t even recognize.
"Michael," Noah called, his voice low and gruff as he opened his eyes and looked at the water underneath. "What are you doing on a bridge?"
Noah had disregarded Michael’s question and asked his own instead. And from his tone, he did not sound happy in the slightest.
’Did he.... misunderstand?’ Michael thought and looked at the water underneath the bridge.
Who wouldn’t misunderstand in a situation like that? He was the only one on that bridge, looking down sadly on a cold night. What was Noah supposed to think?
Noah held on to Michael tightly, his eyes brimming with what looked like tears. Sad and angry tears.
"Why?" He asked, "Why are you here? Are you... Not satisfied with me anymore?"
His words shocked Michael, but what shocked Michael more was the tears he thought he saw in Noah’s eyes. This was the first time.
Michael took in a deep breath. No one would cry for his sake like this. No one would hug him so warmly either.
It was Noah. It was all Noah.
"No, it’s not like that." He said. "I got lost." He hoped Noah would listen to his explanation. "I didn’t know where to go after chasing my Nana’s taxi. Ah, you don’t know who my Nana is," he began to chatter while touching Noah’s hair. "My Nana is an old lady who used to work in my family’s house. I ran after her taxi and got lost because I didn’t want her to leave so soon." He continued to talk. "I wanted to talk to her more, but she left before I could even say goodbye to her." His lips quivered. "I got this far after waking aimlessly. I wanted to call a taxi, but my phone didn’t have any reception."
Noah did not interrupt him, and he did not ask him any questions either. He simply listened, taking in Michael’s scent and sharing his heat with him.
He was so scared when he saw Michael on the bridge with such a sad look on his face. He looked like he was fed up with life, and that made his heart leap in fear.
He thought he was planning to jump. Why? Was it because of his parents’ death? Why did he want to give his life away for people like that and leave him behind?
His heart felt heavy as if someone was crushing him with a wrecking ball. His heart was getting ripped into pieces with just the thought that it made him go mad in a split moment.
