Chapter 32: I feel... my rut is around the corner
It looked like my outburst didn’t get me anything.
Noah’s shocked expression after getting slapped faded into nothingness, replaced with his expression gaze on me.
Ah, even now, all I do is worthless. I can’t even get a damn dog to talk to me.
I released his collars and turned around, staggering.
"I knew it. Life’s shitty as always," I mumbled as I made my way towards my room. I wouldn’t eat any of the take-outs he brought to me anymore since he originally didn’t care.
Best to lock up and starve to death.
But then, Naoh caught my hand, which shocked me. I turned my head back to find him looking at me.
What was this?
"Did you mean it?" He asked.
What?
"Did you mean it when you said you decided to give living a chance?"
I stared at Noah’s face, my eyes shifting from one corner of his face to another as if trying to find answers.
"If you’ve finally decided to keep living then... I’m ready to talk."
And like that, we ended up in the living room again. Gosh, too many things had happened in that living room that it was starting to feel uncomfortable on my path. Ahem.
But what was with Noah’s change of attitude all of a sudden? Did that smack on his face bring him to his senses or was he just waiting for me to say those words?
Was that how much he wanted me to live? Then... I lowered my gaze... Why did he isolate me like that for so many days?
Was he not scared I would suddenly end my life while he was acting nonchalant?
"Noah," I called and he raised his head to look at me. "I don’t think I have to ask the same question I’ve been asking for the past few days now."
Noah looked at me and then looked away. He said,
"I had a good reason,"
"Okay, do let’s hear it." What could that so-called good reason be to isolate me?
"I needed you to come to terms with your own life," he said. "If I couldn’t convince you to get rid of your suicidal thoughts, then I was better off leaving you alone. You said it yourself. You wanted me to live like I was dead and not disturb you while you sulked for your broken heart."
Did I say that? I don’t remember.
"I also thought it would be a good idea if you came to terms on your own, and I didn’t have to do anything." He said and I clicked my tongue. Such nonsense.
That excuse couldn’t cover the entire act.
"Okay, I’ll say I understand why you wanted to isolate me and act like you were dead but why did you refuse to eat?" I asked as I folded my arms. "Was that also to provoke me?"
Noah looked away and interlocked his fingers.
"I feel... My rut is around the corner." He said and my mouth nearly fell in shock.
His... What? A rut?
Oh my, I completely forgot that was a werewolf thing. One where they had to mate with their partner.
I gulped. If his rut was coming soon then... Where was he going to find a partner?
Noah looked at me, observed my expression, and then continued.
"During a werewolf’s rut, they’re required to spend it with their partner, preferably their mate." He sighed. "But if there’s none then they would very much pounce on the nearest living thing to ease themselves."
Once again, I gulped. This definitely did not look good, but what did that have to do with him skipping meals for more than two weeks?
"You’re the only one nearby, so I decided to fast. I’m fasting so that when it comes, I’ll be too weak to lay my hands on you." He looked me in the eye. "It would be scary if I had to lose my mind and force myself on you so I’m using up all my energy right now and not conserving any of it."
Ah, this was deep. Who knew such a thing was going on? Certainly not me because he chose to keep it to himself.
A werewolf in heat, huh? I couldn’t even begin to imagine how he would look like when in heat.
His face would be flushed, sure, but would he stay in his human form or turn into a wolf? He could very much transform halfway and be like a Lycan, so there was that, too.
Having sex with a hairy wolf man appeared thrilling.
*Snap* I slapped my cheeks as soon as I realized what kind of thoughts I was having.
How could I even imagine such a thing? Get your head straight, Micheal. Don’t think of having sex with a dangerous man when he is in his dangerous period.
Noah looked at me with his head slightly tilted, trying to figure out what had come over me all of a sudden and I cleared my throat.
"Ahem," I composed myself and said, "I understand what you’re trying to avoid but do you really think ’fasting’ is going to solve your problem?" I asked him. "Sure, you’ll get weak and won’t be able to pin me down but then what if that doesn’t work out as you planned? What if your wolf’s way stronger than you think and even in a weak state, it overpowers me and does the deed? What are you going to do then?"
He pursed his lip as his skeptical gaze shifted to the floor.
"I did think of that, but I haven’t come up with a solution yet." He said. "I do not plan to pay your kindness like this so I’ll definitely think of something."
Wow, look at this guy. So, he’s planning to pay me for my kindness, huh? He wasn’t sounding as haughty and cold as he did just a moment ago.
I guess he still had some conscience to know that I’m still his benefactor and lifesaver.
"You’re just overthinking things," I said, waving my hand as if trying to swat a fly away. "Don’t starve for such reasons. Energized or not, if your wolf wants to do what it wants, I don’t believe you’ll be able to stop it."
"How are you so sure?" He asked me. "I am the first werewolf you’ve met, am I not?"
