Chapter 58: Waterfalls of Salt
With Yanyin finally back to a semblance of her normal self, the rest of the exhausted gang shuffled inside the newly renovated hut to help her cook dinner.
It was a chaotic process. Even from outside, I could hear the loud bickering between Jian and Liangyu, aggressively debating over the proper ratio of spices, chopping techniques, and exact boiling times.
The domestic sounds were comforting, but I couldn’t bring myself to go inside just yet. I stayed in the backyard with Longwei.
He was sitting quietly on the edge of the smooth wooden corridor that Jian had fabricated, silently overlooking the newly bloomed garden. The chaotic energy of the rock-throwing had vanished, replaced by a still quiet.
I walked over and simply laid flat on my back on the cool and slightly damp grass, right in front of where he sat. I folded my hands behind my head and just stared up at the vast canopy of stars.
"Beautiful, isn’t it?" Longwei remarked softly, his voice lacking its usual sharp edge as he took in the serene night scenery.
"Mhm," I agreed.
It’s a funny, twisted thing about human nature that we feel the most incredibly comfortable when there’s almost no light surrounding us, isn’t it? Why is it that we are the most relaxed, the most vulnerable, only when swallowed by the darkness?
I guess I got a little too comfortable in that quiet space. The adrenaline of the day finally crashed. My throat tightened painfully, and my eyes immediately started to water.
I turned my head sideways, burying my face slightly in the grass so Longwei wouldn’t be able to look at me, and I wept. I didn’t make a sound, but the tears flowed hot and fast, soaking into the earth.
I engaged in a full-blown, pathetic facial leakage for what must have been about five solid minutes. I just lay there, silently trembling.
Finally, Longwei’s voice broke the silence. "Are you crying?"
I don’t even know why my very first instinct was to lie to a being who could probably hear my heartbeat.
"No," I replied quickly, my voice cracking. But since my voice was quite literally evident of the truth, and realizing how stupid I sounded, I immediately gave up the charade. I answered truthfully as I turned my head straight again, staring back up at the blurry stars. "Yes."
Longwei let out a low chuckle. "You know, I’ve been waiting for this."
I sniffled loudly. "For me to cry? You evil fuck."
He didn’t respond to the insult. He just sat there patiently, letting me finish the leakage. He gave me the quiet space to ride out the emotional wave, to wipe my face raw with my sleeves.
After a brief, heavy pause of me focusing purely on getting my ragged breath steady, he finally spoke again.
"You know, I do understand that it’s not easy keeping a brave face. I get it. You did it for your friends. And, funnily enough, I’m pretty sure they’re putting on a brave face just for you, too. You’re all feeding off each other’s fake strength.
But you see, the problem with brave faces is that they’re like eggshells. A light tap is all it takes to break them."
I wiped my nose, glaring up at his silhouette. "Mocking me with philosophy, I see."
"Nope," he replied smoothly. "Just trying to get you to talk. It’s okay, Ziyang. You can be honest with me. The sky won’t fall if you admit you’re terrified."
I closed my eyes, taking a shuddering deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Everything... just happened so impossibly fast," I began, my voice trembling. "I still feel like this is just all a bad, twisted dream that I’m eventually going to wake up from. Just like Aunt Hua’s illusion. It all feels so, so real, but my brain rejects it.
It’s just... I’ve been dealt a shitty hand right from the very beginning of my life, and I just couldn’t take the cosmic hint to stay out of trouble."
I paused for a moment, letting the cool night air dry the tear tracks on my cheeks.
"I’ll admit it. I got cocky. I thought I was smarter than the game. And because of my arrogance, I got myself and my closest friends involved in things we shouldn’t have touched. But I never, ever knew things would get so real, so quick.
And now that I look up at you, sitting there like a statue, I can’t help but wonder about my own stupidity. I don’t even possess a single drop of my own qi, and I had the gall to go against you?"
I turned my head to look at him properly. The pale moonlight was shining directly on him, illuminating his sharp features and portraying him as something godly, all high and mighty and untouchable.
"Legendary martial masters, renowned cultivators, and ancient venerables from all around the world couldn’t even manage to lay a single finger on you for centuries, and I honestly thought I could beat you with a clever plan?"
I chuckled bitterly, the sound harsh in my own ears. "What a joke. And now, after all that plotting, I’m just lying here at your mercy."
He patiently listened to my entire self-pitying rant. He didn’t interrupt. He let me purge the poison from my system.
When I was finally empty, I turned my gaze back up to the stars.
"If you don’t mind me asking..." I started, my voice quieter now, "and it’s not even like you’re going to actually be truthful with me, but... Why, Longwei? I know I asked you this back on the ship, but seriously, I need to know. Why? You’re a literal God walking among mortals. You possess power beyond comprehension. Why do you desperately want more power?
Haven’t you ever stopped to think about the reality of reaching the absolute peak? That once you stand at the very top of existence, you’re just going to find yourself eternally lonely?"
Longwei let the heavy silence settle over us for a long bit of time. The only sound was the distant clatter of pots from the kitchen.
Finally, he answered. "I’d love to answer that question, Ziyang. I truly do. But... you wouldn’t get it."
My jaw clenched. "Try me," I snapped back, instantly annoyed at his patronizing answer.
Longwei seemed to ignore my irritation for a second, looking off into the dark trees. But then, he sighed. "Alright. It’s not like telling you will make a single bit of difference right now, but I’ll go ahead and say it."
I immediately sat upright, crossing my legs on the grass. He might actually be finally answering the question that had been haunting me.
"What do you know about cultivation?" he asked.
