Chapter 19: The First Step Toward Godhood (R-18)
She opened her book and rested it against him as she leaned back.
Max sat there in stunned silence for a moment. He had assumed she would only let him touch them from a bit of distance—maybe leaning forward awkwardly or something like that. Not... this close.
He was so surprised he even forgot to stare at her chest for a second. Instead, he found himself looking at her face from the side, noticing that the book she had opened was about rune patterns.
"Go on," she said calmly, eyes still on the pages. "Touch them."
Max’s hands hovered for just a moment—not out of fear, not even hesitation, but because his brain, completely useless as usual, decided this was the perfect time to freeze up. Alright... this is it. First time. Not imagination, not theory—actual contact. ’System, you better be watching.’
He exhaled slowly and moved.
His fingers finally made contact as he pressed, sinking in deeper than he had expected.
’...so soft...’
Softer than he had imagined.
From his angle, he could only see the upper curve of her chest—the rest hidden, too much for his hands and eyes to take in at once. They were big—big enough that even using both hands, he could barely manage a third of each.
Max was already in hard even before this began.
Though, he’d handled it—barely—keeping everything under control, tucked away and out of sight. No need to ruin the situation before it even properly started.
’Professionalism. Focus. Discipline.’
At least... that’s what he told himself.
But sitting this close?
Yeah—those standards were rapidly collapsing.
He was sure it was poking against her smooth back—how could it not? A woman’s smell alone was enough to make him hard, and now he was feeling her naked back against it, the warmth of her skin smooth and steady, completely unbothered by the situation.
And since she didn’t mind, he pressed himself even closer, wanting to see more of her breast.
His focus locked almost instantly.
Well—mainly the nipple.
Or... what he couldn’t quite see yet.
Because yeah—he had never actually seen one before. Not like this. Not properly. And now that he had the chance, there was no way he was letting even a single detail go to waste.
His eyes traced lower, taking in everything he could see.
The areola stood out immediately—completely different from her otherwise pale skin. A more vivid tone. Slightly shiny. A faint, almost dirty pinkish color that looked... real in a way his imagination had never quite gotten right.
And frustratingly—
His angle wasn’t perfect, he still couldn’t see the nipple.
Max shifted slightly, careful, controlled, trying to get a better look without breaking the moment.
Seriously... just a little more...
But no matter how much he adjusted, part of his view stayed just out of reach.
Annoying.
Very annoying.
Not seeing it didn’t mean much.
Because seeing wasn’t the only option.
Max’s fingers moved—slow, careful—testing the boundary like someone poking at a locked door to see if it was really closed.
Contact.
A small, electric jolt shot through him, sharp enough to make his breath hitch.
’...Oh.’
For a second, his mind went completely blank.
Then—
’I actually did it.’
Something warm and ridiculous swelled in his chest, almost overwhelming.
’Finally...’
His lips parted slightly, the thought slipping through his mind like some grand, life-changing realization.
’I’ve officially crossed over...’
It felt absurdly significant. Way more than it should’ve been.
But then again—
Back in his previous life?
Yeah... this was uncharted territory.
No accidental brushes. No "oops" moments. Not even the cliché bump-into-someone-and-regret-it scene.
Nothing.
Because, naturally, he’d always been just self-aware enough—
—or maybe just coward enough—
to avoid even those "purely accidental" opportunities.
’You know... the kind that are totally accidental.’
And now?
Max’s grip steadied slightly, a faint, almost triumphant smile forming.
’...Yeah. This world is already better.’
As Max was busy reliving the absolute tragedy that had been his previous life—
Zerena’s voice cut through his thoughts.
"Is this your first time...?"
He froze for half a second.
’...Critical hit.’
Back then, he’d had his... alternatives. Cheap substitutes. The kind you convince yourself are "close enough" if you squint hard and lower your standards.
He used to tell himself they were basically the same.
’Yeah... turns out, that was a lie.’
A massive one.
Reality had officially exposed past Max as a complete idiot.
"...Yes," he admitted.
Short. Honest. No point pretending now.
His focus didn’t break though—not even slightly. If anything, it sharpened, like his brain had finally accepted this was no longer a simulation.
’This is the real thing.’
And there was no way he was wasting it.
"Well... then you should know these aren’t toys," Zerena said, her tone slipping into something halfway between irritation and reluctant instruction. "You can’t just handle them however you’ve seen in those porn videos."
She paused.
Then frowned.
"sigh...Why am I even explaining this?" she muttered, rubbing her temple like she’d just realized her life had taken a very wrong turn somewhere. "What exactly have I gotten myself into...letting a child like you fondle my breasts."
Max, meanwhile, was only half-listening.
Correction—he heard the words.
He just wasn’t prioritizing them.
Because right now, his attention was locked onto something far more important. Observing. Noting details. He couldn’t properly see them, but he could feel them—and they were slightly bigger than he had expected. They were about half the length of his pink fingertip and just as wide. And he had also heard they could grow hard, and wanting to see that, his mind began searching for a way to make it happen.
Zerena’s voice cut in again, sharper this time.
"So be gentle."
That got through.
"It’s not like we’re doing anything beyond this," she added flatly. "Just enough to complete your... quest. Then we’re done."
Max nodded.
Both hands moved in, carefully—far more carefully than his thoughts deserved—holding her with a kind of forced restraint, like he was pretending this was a completely normal, totally academic exercise.
’Gentle. She said gentle.’
...Yeah, that was taking effort.
A lot of it.
Because every instinct he had was telling him to do the exact opposite.
To fondle them hard, mold them into different shapes in his hands, and to put them in his mouth, flick those nipples bite them hard.
But no—discipline.
For now.
After a few seconds, he spoke, voice steady enough to pass.
"I have a question..."
Zerena raised an eyebrow immediately.
"Is it about my breasts?"
Max shook his head quickly.
"No..."
She studied him for a moment, then gave a small nod.
"Then ask."
Max inhaled slightly, still maintaining that carefully controlled pace, even as his mind ran in completely different directions.
