Chapter 110: 110: Romance Is Not My Forte
[I thought you’d be happier to get your goal change, hostie.]
"You are honestly crazy! Just a week ago you gave me the stupid task that led to me being exiled. And now you’re telling me to regain my crown?! Why?! They don’t even want me?"
[Don’t you want to go home?]
"Now don’t you dare try to gaslight me! This wasn’t the agreement!"
[No, Hostie. The agreement was that you get your goal change, complete it and finally get the chance to go home. Do you want to reject your goal change?]
Anna’s eyes turned suspicious. "What’s the catch?"
[You’re very smart, Hostie. There’s no catch. Only, you’d never go back home. And of course I’ll leave. You’ll be stuck here, in the south. Doing whatever.]
Anna trembled with rage. "I am going to strangle you."
[Eh, I’d advice you not to treat your System badly.]
Anna rolled her eyes.
Even though she was angry, she paused to think. Regaining her crown? Coming back from exile was incredibly difficult. And with how the royal council was set up, Anna doubted she would ever be accepted back into the East. Even the king and queen had shunned her, not one of them came to see her off.
In summary, she thought it impossible. Mad even.
But if the sadistic system said it was the new goal, then it must know something.
Her anger slowly chipped at the edges. It wasn’t like it was going to do anything. Plus she was too exhausted to keep the flames going.
Anna folded her arms and huffed. "Fine. Tell me the details."
[Okay!] the System chirped and then went silent.
Anna blinked. "System? Where are you?"
[Right here, hostie!]
The voice that spoke came from behind Anna.
She spun around, coming face to face with a floating, glowing chibi figure. It had green hair and even brighter green eyes. It’s dressing was a pale yellow princess gown, and it had wings too.
Confusions registered all over Anna’s face.
"System?"
[Tadah!] the chibi chimed, spreading its tiny arms as if expecting a hug. [This is my real form!]
Anna was silent.
Silent.
Then her expression darkened and she lunged. "Don’t think looking cute will save you!" She bellowed as she tackled the System to the ground. Her hands closed around its body, much to her greatest surprise. "Ha! I can touch you! You’re fucking dead!"
[Nooooo Hostie! You must not harm your System!] it squealed, waving its arms erratically and trying to escape Anna’s hold. [Ahhhhh I can’t breath!]
"Stop being dramatic! You’re AI! You don’t need to breath!"
The system paused. A big smile stretched on its face. [You’re right!] and poof! It was gone from under her hold, appearing above her head. [Hostie, if you would stop and listen to me.]
Anna rose to her feet, breathing hard, her eyes spitting fire. "Now I can strangle you," she cackled, cracking her knuckles.
[Gah! So scary!] the System shuddered, covering its mouth with its hands. [My host is a barabarian.]
Anna shoved the blankets off her shoulders and pointed an accusing finger at the System. "Start. Fucking. Talking."
[Ah! Yes yes! Allow me to reintroduce myself! My name is Leila, and I am your AI Companion/Assistant. I will lead you to complete your goals and—]
"Wait. Your name is Leila?"
[That is correct!]
Anna’s stomach dropped. The memories came rushing back. Drax. Orchid. Orchid’s pregnancy. The name, Leila. Orchid miscarrying. That scream...Anna heard that scream all over again.
She shook her head, hoping to shake off the memories.
"Who named you Leila?"
[My programmer!]
"Who is your programmer?"
[I’m not allowed to say!]
A memory, one that Anna was sure she had a long time ago, edged at the corners of her mind. It was so close but not close enough that she could grasp it. All she could see was a garden, rain, Drax and Orchid walking together. They were talking about something...something Anna couldn’t remember.
I’ll remember later.
"Was it Orchid? Was she your programmer?" Anna asked. But before Leila could reply, Anna chuckled. "That’s stupid. There’s no way she could have created an annoying AI Assistant without electricity....wait! She had electricity!"
Leila tilted her head to the side curiously. [Hostie, what are you talking about?]
"She created you!" Anna exclaimed, like she had just won the lottery. "She made you! She—no that’s not right. That’s impossible. If she could control AI somehow? Why don’t she get rid of the AI beasts?"
[Hostie!]
Anna turned to Leila. "Yes?"
Leila sighed. [Can you please focus? We have greater things on hand right now than whatever it is you’re preoccupied with.]
Anna rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Start talking."
[Alright! First, here is your dashboard! Take a long and very hard look, hostie.]
A glowing screen appeared in front of Anna.
[Name: Anna DeMarchess
Age: 20
Specie: Cat Orchid beastbloom
Spore efficiency: 55%
Current status: Exiled.
Goal: Regain Your Crown
Points: 2,500,000
Affinities: Tap for more information]
"Wait, I recall I had some bonus packages I hadn’t opened yet."
[Yeah about that, they’re gone. You missed your chance to use them and now your dashboard has been reset. Sorry.]
"What’s this points?"
[Points from your first goal. They will be used to purchase items from the store, accept tasks, and all that.]
Anna nodded to herself. She almost died multiple times thanks to her last goal, but at least now she has two point five million points to show for it.
Yay.
"And affinities?" She asked as she tapped the bar.
It showed up a screen with headshots of her husbands.
[Your new goal focuses more on romance, Hostie. Here you can track your affinities with your husbands. Higher affinity unlocks more items and even better tasks!]
Anna’s eyes widened. "This is some crazy shit..." she muttered as her eyes scanned the screen.
First was Kai. It contained his information, his name and specie and affinity level.
"10%?" Anna asked. "I thought it’d be higher."
[Oh yeah, well what do I know about the heart? I’m just an AI.]
Anna didn’t miss the sarcasm in Leila’s voice. "Is there a gauge or something? A reference point?"
[Yes!] another screen overlapped the affinity screen. [Keep in mind affinities aren’t fixed, they can go up or down!]
[0-10: Stranger
11-20: curious
21-30: Interested
31-40: Caring
41-50: Trusting
51-60: Devoted
61-70: Deeply attached
71-80: In love
81-90: Soulbound
100: Irreplaceable.
Do you have any questions?]
Anna stared at the score sheet. Then back at the current affinities.
Kai was at 10. Ray was at 15. Azul was at 0.
Her shoulder slumped and her spirits dampened like a flame doused with water.
"I hate this game."
[That’s the energy!]
"I thought..."
[What? That because they bicker over you and act protective that they’re in love with you? Hostie, even if they know you aren’t the real Princess Orchud, you wear her face. You can’t expect to erase years of trauma with a smile and a "I’m actually a different person!" It’s going to take time to work your affinities up. And that’s exactly why I’m here to help!]
"I’m going to fail, aren’t I?"
[There’s a fifty percent chance of either success or failure, hostie. You alone posses the ability to tip the scales in your Favour.]
"How do I raise affinity?"
[You know, normal things. Talking to them, gifts, solving problems, romantic acts and declarations, all of that. Don’t make the mistake of going "I love you!" When their affinity is below 60. It will not end well.]
Anna stared at the affinity lists. Build close relationships with three men. Should be easy right? Wrong.
The only person Anna had built a close relationship with was Taco, her pet cat.
She doubted if she’d ever felt deep love for anyone before.
Her palms turned cold and suddenly she started rethinking everything.
"I think the villainess goal was easier."
Leila burst out laughing. [To ensure you don’t pass out on me or worse, I’ve divided your goal into small bite sized prices. The first is Building An Agricultural Empire in the South. That’s right, Hostie, you’re gonna revive agriculture in this post apocalyptic world! Yayyyyy!]
Anna couldn’t share in Leila’s joy. Seeing just how much work she had ahead of her felt totally daunting. Like climbing a mountain without any gear. "I think I’ll go to sleep. This should settle itself in the morning."
[Eh, Hostie. Wait a—]
But Anna had already walked inside the cottage and slammed the back door.
Like a robot, she walked right to her bedroom and crawled under the covers.
Her mind went far and wide.
Regain my crown.
Revive agriculture.
Raise affinities.
Everything felt like too much. Compared to "remin the villainess" Anna wanted to cry.
Romance had never been her strong suit. Never. Back in her old life, her boyfriend was the only romantic interaction she’d ever had. And they started dating when she was 26. Three years later they were broken up. And she died.
She never had a teenage love. Not even she was preoccupied with surviving and escaping the abusive life her aunt subjected her to.
The mere thought of making three men, not one or two, but three, fall in love with her? She wanted to throw up and cry and punch herself at the same time.
She curled in on herself, her eyes watering. "I want to go home," she whispered to the empty room. "I miss my home...I want to...I want..."
