Chapter 97: Heat Returns (II)
Eiden:
Hearing those words leave Rosalie’s lips nearly stopped my heart.
For one endless second, I simply stood there, unable to think.
"Is it because you don’t want me?"
The question wasn’t really hers. I knew that. The wolf looking back at me through those beautiful brown eyes wasn’t fully my Rosa. Her wolf had finally awakened after years of silence, yet she was still inexperienced, ruled almost entirely by instinct and the mate bond. She didn’t understand restraint. She didn’t understand healing. All she understood was that her mate stood in front of her while something inside her desperately wanted to stay close to him.
And somehow, that innocent misunderstanding hurt far more than I expected.
I had been so focused on helping her through her heat, so determined to ease her discomfort before it overwhelmed her completely, that it had never crossed my mind she - or rather, her wolf - might mistake my actions as rejection.
Knowing everything she had lived through, knowing how often she had been made to feel unwanted... the very thought tightened painfully around my chest.
Without another second of hesitation, I set the syringe down on the bedside table. The tiny clink of glass against polished wood echoed through the room as I lowered myself onto my knees directly in front of her.
Our eyes naturally met at nearly the same level. Slowly, I reached forward and gently enclosed both of her trembling hands inside mine.
She didn’t pull away. Instead, her fingers instinctively curled around mine as though they had finally found something familiar to hold onto.
Only then did I lift one hand to her face. And the moment my palm cupped her cheek, she leaned into the touch without even thinking about it. Her eyelids fluttered and a tiny breath escaped her lips.
The movement was so trusting, so instinctive... that my wolf surged inside me, demanding I gather her into my arms and never let go again.
Moon Goddess...
How could this woman possibly think I didn’t want her?
If only she knew. If only either she or her wolf had any idea how difficult these past weeks had been. Every training session where I stood close enough to hear her heartbeat, every morning I watched her smile after successfully learning something new... every day I had to remind myself that healing her heart mattered more than satisfying my own longing.
Holding back hadn’t been easy. It had been one of the hardest things I had ever done.
And I had been holfing back not because I lacked feelings for her, but because I had too many.
I wanted her to choose me because she wanted me. Not because the bond demanded it. Not because she felt indebted. And not because she believed she had nowhere else to go.
I wanted Rosalie. Every part of her. Including the parts that still needed time to heal.
I brushed my thumb gently across her cheek.
"My answer," I said quietly, never once looking away from her eyes, "is the exact opposite of what you are thinking."
She blinked slowly.
"I do want you." The words came out calm, steady, and certain. "I have wanted you since I got to know just how unique and strong as a person you are."
A flicker of surprise crossed her face.
"I simply refused to rush you." I added and watched confusion mingle with the instinctive emotions clouding her thoughts. "You have already been hurt by people who were supposed to cherish you." My voice softened even further. "The last thing I ever wanted was for you to believe I was forcing my feelings onto you before you were ready."
Her breathing gradually slowed. She continued staring at me with those wide eyes. So I decided there was no point hiding behind careful words any longer.
Not tonight.
Not after the question she had just asked.
"I accepted you as my fated mate from the moment I understood what you were to me."
A tiny shiver passed through her.
"And if one day..." I smiled gently. "...when you have healed, when you have found happiness again, and when you choose it with your own heart... I hope to stand beside you as your husband."
Silence filled the room.
Absolute silence.
Her eyes widened so much that for just a heartbeat I caught a glimpse of my Rosalie beneath the instincts overwhelming her.
Shock, disbelief, emotion - they all flashed across her face before her wolf’s presence became dominant once again.
Even so, I had seen enough. I had seen Rosalie hear every single word. And somehow, I knew I had made the right decision. My wolf settled slightly, satisfied that the truth had finally been spoken.
Unfortunately, the battle wasn’t over.
Her wolf still wanted one thing. She wanted to claim her mate. Now. She didn’t care about Rosalie’s painful past. She didn’t care about the complicated emotions still waiting to be untangled. She only cared about the bond connecting us.
I gently squeezed her hands as I said, "Listen to me."
She focused on me immediately.
"If, after this passes... when you are thinking clearly again..." I smiled warmly. "... and still want to take another step with me..." My voice remained calm. "I’ll listen."
Her wolf quieted ever so slightly.
"But not like this." I slowly released one of her hands and reached toward the bedside table once more. "Not while you can’t freely choose."
The instant I picked up the syringe, disappointment flooded her expression.
It almost broke me.
She watched every movement as I carefully prepared the injection again. There was accusation in those beautiful eyes, as well as hurt, confusion, and something that I could only grasp as betrayal.
"I’m sorry," I whispered as I held her gaze. "This isn’t because I don’t want you. But because I care about you too much."
Very gently, I administered the medication.
She didn’t fight me this time. Instead, she simply continued looking at me. Her wolf clearly wasn’t pleased.
As the medicine began taking effect, her eyelids slowly grew heavier. The tension gradually melted from her shoulders.
Just before sleep claimed her completely, I thought I saw moisture gathering in the corners of her eyes. Then, with one final sleepy blink... she drifted into peaceful unconsciousness.
I remained kneeling beside the bed for a long time afterward, still holding her hand, silently wishing the first words she would remember when she woke would be the promise I had finally found the courage to make.
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