Too Late To Regret, My Alphas

Chapter 67: A Wolf So Weak

Rosalie:

"Training?"

The word left my mouth before I could stop it.

I stared at Zaiden across the table, completely confused by how we had somehow jumped from chicken soup and dinner to training. My mind tried to connect the dots and failed miserably. Training for what? Why now? Why me?

And judging by the way both men simply looked at me, the questions must have been written all over my face because Zaiden finally leaned back in his chair slightly and explained.

"You should start training." His tone stayed calm as he added, "To get stronger."

I blinked.

He didn’t stop. "You need to train so that your body can match the strength of your wolf so she doesn’t overwhelm you."

I stared at him in complete silence, trying to make sure he wasn’t joking. But he just stared back at me with that serious look in his eyes. Right. Zaiden Nightfang wasn’t the type of person to joke.

But then what else he’s doing right now?

My gaze shifted from him to Eiden, and I found the latter looking at me with a serious expression that matched perfectly with his friend’s.

"Are we talking about... my wolf?" I asked, no longer able to hold it in.

Zaiden gave one single nod. "That’s right, Ms. Hale. I’m talking about you, and your wolf."

For several seconds I genuinely felt like he had switched languages midway through the conversation. My wolf? Strong? Overwhelm me? I looked at him for a little longer before finally finding my voice once again, asking something I had been wanting to for a while now.

"Why do you both think I have a strong wolf?"

The question came out quieter than I expected. And immediately, I regretted asking. Not because I didn’t want the answer, but because another question appeared underneath it. One I didn’t ask.

Do you want me to have a strong wolf?

The thought appeared so suddenly it almost made my stomach hurt. Because I knew this feeling. I knew this expectation. I knew exactly what it felt like when people looked at you and silently wished you were stronger, prettier, better, more useful.

I knew exactly what it felt like to disappoint people.

One of the many reasons I got betrayed, one of the many reasons I got cheated on, one of the many reasons nobody ever took me seriously, and one of many reasons I was cast aside... was my wolf.

Or more accurately, lack of one.

My fingers curled into my dress at my sides. Suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking.

Do they also want me to have a strong wolf so they wouldn’t feel ashamed?

So their powerful families and pack wouldn’t laugh? So at least they could point at one thing and say - look, our mate isn’t completely worthless.

The more I thought, the tighter my chest became. My throat started feeling strange. And right when it became difficult to keep my expression steady, Zaiden spoke.

His gaze stayed fixed on me, and unlike me, he looked completely certain.

"Because you do."

I looked at him.

He continued, "You have a strong wolf, Ms. Hale." There was no hesitation, no uncertainty, and no careful wording. Just certainty.

Something inside me cracked, and I almost laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it wasn’t. Because somehow, out of all the things they could misunderstand, this one felt impossible.

I looked between them, then quietly said, "Sorry to disappoint you, Alpha Nightfang. But are wrong."

Neither men reacted. Not in the least. So I continued, "I do have a wolf." I swallowed. "But she’s no better than not having one."

The moment the words left my mouth, I noticed both their expressions change. Their brows frowned in clear and immediate disagreement. But at that very moment, something else happened too. Something inside me shifted.

I looked away from their faces for a moment before looking up again and asked, "Do either of you know how many times I have shifted since I turned sixteen?"

I was met with absolute silence as neither answered.

I smiled, small and humorless. Then raised my hand and showed them three fingers. "This many. Just three times in fucking four years." My voice stayed calm as I lowered my hand.

The room became quiet.

I looked away. Because suddenly I couldn’t look at them anymore. "I can’t heal like other wolves. I can’t run as fast as them. I’m not physically strong." My throat tightened as I continued, "During full moons I stay inside because my wolf barely reacts."

I smiled again. That same ugly smile. "I can’t fight. I can’t keep up. Do you know what that means?"

Neither interrupted.

So I answered myself. "It means nobody wants to rely on you." My chest started hurting. "It means nobody wants you on their team." My eyes burned. "It means people look at you and immediately decide you are weak."

I swallowed.

"It means people pity you." My voice grew quieter. "It means people stop expecting anything from you."

The room stayed silent. So I continued. Because once I started, I couldn’t stop.

"I spent years trying." My throat felt heavy. "I trained, practiced, waited, hoped, prayed."

I laughed quietly.

"I even convinced myself maybe next year would be different." I looked directly at them. "But nothing changed."

My chest felt tight now. Painfully tight. I looked at Zaiden. Then Eiden. Then said the thing I never said out loud. The thing I hated admitting.

"I’m weaker than an omega."

The silence that followed felt endless.

I looked down and quietly added, "And sometimes..." My throat closed, but I forced the words out anyway. "...sometimes I think I would have preferred not having a wolf at all. Instead of getting cursed with the one the Moon Goddess gave me."

The room became completely still.

The moment the sentence left my mouth, something moved. Not only inside me but in front of me. It happened fast. Too fast that I barely registered it.