If this were a novel, we’d be on chapter two by now. [N1]
To reiterate, the character I’ve possessed is a villain.
So what exactly did he do that was so bad?
He looked down on and bullied the original protagonist at the Academy.
I’m bringing this up now because the reason this possessed body engaged in school violence was precisely to get his father’s attention.
'And also to explain just how unusual it is for Hárðr to have come to this room.'
Karvaldr did his best to be acknowledged as a member of the family.
When his father still gave him no attention, he decided to go astray.
Not in a way that he would accept defeat and grow from it, but in a way that would harm an innocent third party.
'A rebellious thought befitting a teenager going through puberty, and a deeply immature, messed up, and even selfish decision.'
To get straight to the point, Karvaldr did not get what he wanted.
His father didn’t bother to come all the way to the Academy to scold his son, nor did he even write a letter telling him to watch his conduct.
He simply instructed his subordinates to cover it up quietly.
What else could this mean but, "I don’t even want to waste the effort it takes to point out your mistakes and nag you"?
Furthermore, Hárðr didn’t care at all about the pain his son caused.
All he wanted was to avoid the dishonor of his child causing trouble at the Academy and being disciplined.
Though disappointed by that fact, this possessed body still found a bit of hope and a certain satisfaction in it.
Because even if he was ignored by his family, outside he held the power to look down on the weak with the Family’s prestige behind him.
Through this, Karvaldr felt a sense of belonging to the Family for the very first time.
Even after confirming this method wouldn’t get his father’s attention, he continued bullying the protagonist.
This continued until the protagonist quit the Academy due to a certain incident.
'I was wondering when the protagonist would finally put this bastard in his place...'
I cannot tell you ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ how flabbergasted I was when the protagonist suddenly left the Academy.
It seems I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
Every time a character died, this possessed body’s name was brought up in the comment section.
They asked why Karvaldr, an early stage villain, was kept alive when even important looking supporting characters were dying.
Was it because of that, or did the author have something planned?
In the end, Karvaldr reappeared and tried to bully the protagonist once more, but was killed by a trap of his own making.
Hárðr didn’t step in that time either.
Even after receiving a ridiculously sloppy report, he didn’t think to investigate further.
All he did was mutter, "As expected of a defective product."
'He had that kind of reaction even when his son actually died, yet today he comes to visit as soon as he hears his son has woken up, and even slaps him across the face.'
As I retraced his actions in the original novel, I started to understand why this person was acting so contradictorily.
He was just giving alms, as if to say, "Is this the attention you wanted? Here, take it."
This carried the implicit meaning that he should realize how worthless attention is and stop doing things that could tarnish the Family’s honor.
Although I was on the side of disliking the character "Karvaldr," Hárðr’s attitude didn’t sit well with me.
I don’t know what he’s trying to do.
An adult, a parent no less, getting into a power struggle with a kid.
Once I finished my analysis, the person before me seemed pathetic, or rather, truly ridiculous.
But I had to avoid getting on the bad side of the most powerful person in the Family, so I swallowed my scorn and put on an obedient smile.
'Some might call this attitude of mine servile, but...'
Since I’ve been possessed into a character from a prestigious family, shouldn’t I take as many benefits as I can get?
I have no intention of craving Hárðr’s attention like the original owner of this body.
I’d rather be left alone in indifference.
I plan to live as if I’m not there, using the Austri Ducal Family’s money and power for my own convenience and benefit.
"...Is there something wrong with his head?"
Hárðr, who had been staring at me, suddenly furrowed his brow and turned to ask the personal physician.
His tone suggested he was questioning how the treatment had been handled.
It seems a small misunderstanding arose because I had simply stared blankly at him after being slapped, and now I was even smiling.
"He has lost his memories, but..."
"His memories?"
"Still, there are no problems with his communication skills or intelligence. I just had a conversation with him, and he was perfectly fine."
"Then why is his reaction like that?"
"I’m not quite sure. The poison has been completely treated and left no aftereffects whatsoever. The memory loss is also a psychological issue, not an effect of the poison."
Words that could be summarized as "Anyway, it’s not my fault" flowed from the personal physician’s mouth.
It was a statement one couldn’t make without being extremely confident in one’s abilities.
Even to me, my body felt so perfectly fine that it was hard to believe it had been poisoned, so it wasn’t baseless confidence.
"I’ve wasted too much time. I’ll receive a report later."
Hárðr left with only those words, without exchanging another word with me.
I guess he didn’t have anything to say and had just come to slap my face.
Now that the person and the lion I had to be wary of were gone, I scowled to my heart’s content and glared at the door.
That’s when the personal physician whispered something to the attendant.
Then he said he would be taking his leave as well.
I had nothing to ask the personal physician anyway, unless it was about the possessed body’s condition.
Since I’d heard there were no aftereffects from the poison, I had no reason to hold him back and simply watched him leave.
After the door closed with a click, I turned to the attendant left in the room and spoke.
"I have a few things I’d like to ask... Oh! But before that, could you bring me something to write with?"
"I am merely a servant, so you may speak casually."
"I shall do so. Then bring me something to write with."
Even though the request instantly turned into a command, the attendant showed no sign of agitation and brought over a sheet of paper from a clipboard and a fountain pen.
His reaction was as if my speaking in such a way was perfectly natural.
I was worried it would sound awkward, but thankfully it seemed natural.
For the record, this cringeworthy way of speaking is not originally mine.
I was trying to imitate the speech of Karvaldr from the original novel, which had "an unpleasant tone based on the Formal Speech Style."
I did not want to speak like this if I could help it, but I had no choice.
'In older possession or transmigration novels, most protagonists manage to hide the fact of their possession until the end, but in recent ones, they get found out easily over trivial things.'
The excuse of amnesia is not a panacea.
Even if the mind does not remember, there are things the body does.
For instance, things like riding a horse, using a weapon, handling Ether, and so on.
'It would be a relief if I can get the hang of it and master the skills quickly, but if I’m still fumbling around after days, people will find it strange, right?'
I am keeping in mind the possibility that the body’s memories have not been synchronized either.
So, to arouse as little suspicion as possible, I decided to at least imitate the way the possessed body spoke.
Besides, even if I spoke normally, it is obvious I would be told to fix my speech to be "befitting the son of high nobility."
For the same reason, I purposely sat up straight with good posture and held the pen properly.
Only then did the thought of handwriting cross my mind.
'I was planning to organize my thoughts while taking notes... what should I do?'
It is rare, but I know that it is not entirely unheard of for handwriting to change due to amnesia.
Even so, I concluded that it would be better to leave as many traces of Karvaldr as possible.
Strictly speaking, it’s not "leaving" traces but "making" them, but that’s a minor point.
I don’t absolutely need to take notes to organize my thoughts.
So I intentionally made my hand holding the pen tremble slightly, then slowly relaxed my grip.
The pen slipped from my hand and fell onto the soft blanket with a soft thud.
"Why can’t I put any strength in my hand? I feel kind of weak, too... Exactly how many days has it been since I collapsed from the poison?"
"Today is the second day."
The physician had said "a few days ago," so I thought at least four days had passed, but it’s only been two.
I briefly thought the timeframe was a bit ambiguous, but I deliberately muttered, "I see. It’s because I’ve starved for two days."
As I did so, I slumped back against the headboard of the bed.
"Shall I prepare a meal first?"
"Figuring out things about myself comes first."
The moment I realized I had possessed a body that had gone without food for two straight days, I suddenly felt a wave of hunger.
But I had no choice but to ignore it and shake my head at the attendant’s words.
Because if I were to eat first, the writing implement would be placed in my hand again.
"How old am I?"
"You will be turning eighteen this coming September."
The attendant answered my question as he cleared away the clipboard and the fallen pen.
In other words, I’m seventeen, and the "Valhalla Academy" this possessed body attends allows enrollment from the age of seventeen.
This means I’ve just finished the first semester of my first year, which means the original protagonist hasn’t dropped out yet.
'Could this be an opportunity? To sever the ill fated connection between the original protagonist and this possessed body, and become complete strangers...'
As I mentioned earlier, after the original protagonist dropped out of the Academy, this possessed body didn’t appear in the novel for some time.
So wouldn’t it be enough to periodically track the original protagonist’s location and avoid him?
If I become a forgotten character that way, couldn’t I survive?
Such a hopeful thought did come to mind.
'But I feel so anxious. The original protagonist doesn’t have the personality to easily forget past grudges...'
In the original story, Karvaldr couldn’t fix his old habits and died after seeking out the protagonist on his own to mess with him.
But couldn’t I be killed by the protagonist who comes looking for me, unable to forget his grudge?
That anxiety coiled in a corner of my mind, staring me down.
I’m not trembling with vague anxiety without good reason.
Quite obviously, as everyone who got close to the original protagonist died, his mind became more devastated day by day.
Moreover, 《NaSE》 is an unfinished novel, and the author posted a notice of indefinite hiatus.
'Which means no one knows to what extent the original protagonist’s mind will break in the future.'
What if, at some point in the future not covered by the novel, the original protagonist completely snaps and comes to kill me, saying, "All my friends are dead, so why are you still alive?"
I can’t help but think this.
This is sudden, but if I may share some TMI, I was also bullied during my school days.
So I know.
School bullying isn’t a memory that can be forgotten simply because time has passed.
The humiliation, shame, and contempt experienced at a sensitive, impressionable age leave scars on the heart that cannot be erased.
For that reason, I want to establish one more safety measure.
It goes without saying that I won’t go looking for the original protagonist after I graduate from the Academy.
I also plan to prevent any reason for him to come looking for me in advance.
As it happens, the point in this novel where characters start dying in earnest is the aforementioned "certain incident that causes the original protagonist to quit the Academy."
'Which means, before that, even if I come into contact with the original protagonist, I probably won’t die, for the most part.'
So instead of unconditionally avoiding the original protagonist at the Academy, I’ll try meeting him, apologizing, and proposing that we become strangers from now on.
Whether the original protagonist will accept such words remains unknown.
No—he definitely won’t accept it.
He might even grow suspicious or angry.
Even so, it should be much better than not apologizing at all.
'If it comes to it, there’s also the method of saving the original protagonist’s childhood friend, who is scheduled to die when that certain incident happens, thereby canceling out the grudge with a favor...'
But the problem with this method is that if I mess up, I could die in place of that childhood friend.
So I’ll have to build up my strength as much as possible before the day of the incident arrives.
There isn’t much time left, so I can’t waste a single day.
