Chapter 49: Lilliths feelings
For a while after that, neither of us spoke.
The carriage rolled steadily through the forest road while the sound of wheels against dirt quietly filled the silence between us.
Lillith sat at the front guiding the horses while I rested in the back staring out toward the passing trees.
Her earlier answer lingered heavily in my mind.
’I lost count.’
The way she had said it—
So casual.
So unconcerned.
As if the lives of the people inside that fortress genuinely meant nothing to her.
Eventually the forest grew quieter as evening slowly approached.
The orange glow of sunset filtered through the trees while cold air drifted through the wagon.
Then suddenly—
"...Are you scared of me now?"
I looked up slightly.
Lillith still faced forward while holding the reins loosely in both hands.
But despite her calm posture, I could hear something strange hidden beneath her voice.
Tension.
I stayed quiet for several moments trying think of an answer.
Eventually I sighed softly.
"...Sometimes."
The horses continued forward quietly.
"You destroy things too easily."
Lillith didn’t respond.
So I continued.
"You talked about all those people dying like it didn’t matter at all."
A faint breeze moved through the carriage.
Then finally she spoke again.
"...It didn’t."
I froze slightly.
Lillith slowly looked back toward me over her shoulder.
"They took you."
Her expression remained calm.
"So why should I care what happens to them?"
There wasn’t even hatred in her voice.
That was the unsettling part.
To her—
The answer genuinely seemed obvious.
Then after a brief silence, she quietly added:
"I only care if you’re hurt."
Something about hearing that made my chest tighten strangely.
Because despite how terrifying it sounded—
I knew she meant it completely sincerely.
Lillith looked away again afterward.
"For normal people," she murmured softly, "life probably feels precious."
Her fingers tightened slightly around the reins.
"But I stopped seeing people that way a long time ago."
I frowned slightly.
"...Why?"
For several moments she remained silent.
Then eventually—
"Because people die very easily around me."
The way she said it sounded oddly detached.
Not proud.
Not sad.
Just tired.
"When I was little," she continued quietly, "I accidentally killed two of the servants."
My eyes widened slightly.
Lillith’s expression didn’t change.
"I didn’t even realize it happened until Father dragged me away."
The forest road remained silent around us while she spoke.
"After that, everyone around me started acting differently."
A faint smile crossed her face.
"Except you."
I blinked.
"...Me?"
"You still argue with me."
"That’s because you’re insane."
Lillith smiled slightly wider.
"You still joke around me."
"That’s because if I don’t joke around you I’ll probably start screaming."
Her smile became more genuine.
"And you still look at me like I’m a person."
That answer caught me off guard.
I stayed quiet afterward.
Eventually I leaned slightly against the wagon wall before quietly speaking.
"You are a person."
Lillith froze slightly.
Then slowly—
A faint blush appeared across her face.
"...You’re unfair sometimes."
"I have no idea what that means."
"It means you say dangerous things."
Before I could ask what that meant, the horses suddenly became restless.
Lillith’s expression instantly sharpened.
The atmosphere shifted immediately.
"...What’s wrong?" I asked.
Instead of answering, she slowly pulled the reins stopping the carriage entirely.
The forest around us became quiet.
Then—
Rustling echoed from the trees.
Several armed men stepped out onto the road ahead.
Bandits.
Around eight of them.
The leader grinned the moment he saw the carriage.
"Well now."
His eyes slowly drifted toward Lillith.
And his smile widened unpleasantly.
"Looks like today’s our lucky day."
Another man behind him laughed.
"She’s pretty too."
The moment those words left his mouth, I felt the air temperature drop slightly.
The leader stepped forward while resting his weapon over one shoulder.
"Now then miss, let’s make this easy."
His eyes shifted toward the wagon.
"Hand over your valuables and maybe we’ll let you leave alive."
Lillith stared at him silently.
The leader frowned slightly.
"...You deaf?"
Still no response.
Then finally—
Lillith spoke softly.
"You interrupted our conversation."
The men hesitated slightly.
But then the leader laughed loudly.
"Oh no, scary noble girl’s upset."
The others started laughing too.
I slowly rubbed my face tiredly.
These people genuinely had no idea what they were standing in front of.
The leader pointed his sword toward the wagon.
"Search it."
Two bandits immediately started approaching.
The moment one of them grabbed the carriage—
Lillith moved.
I didn’t even properly see it happen.
One second she stood beside the horses.
The next—
The man disappeared.
Not flew backward.
Not got hit.
Disappeared.
A second later, a distant explosion echoed from somewhere deep within the forest.
The remaining bandits froze.
Slowly—
Very slowly—
Lillith turned toward them.
Her purple eyes glowed faintly within the dim evening light.
"...I’m already in a bad mood."
The leader stumbled backward slightly.
"M-mage—"
Before he could finish speaking, dark purple mana suddenly erupted beneath his feet and slammed him violently into the ground hard enough crack the earth beneath him.
The others panicked instantly.
"RUN!"
Several turned trying flee into the forest.
None of them escaped.
The shadows around the trees twisted unnaturally before grabbing onto them.
Screaming immediately echoed through the woods.
One man barely managed running several meters before his entire body suddenly jerked upward into the air violently.
Then—
Crunch.
The sound made my stomach twist.
Another tried begging.
That lasted around three seconds.
I slowly looked away.
I didn’t even want witness the rest.
The screaming eventually stopped.
Silence returned to the forest once more.
A few moments later, the carriage door opened gently.
Lillith climbed back inside calmly.
Not a single mark rested on her.
"...Sorry about that."
I stared at her blankly.
"You just killed eight people."
Lillith tilted her head slightly.
"They tried bothering us."
"That doesn’t make it normal."
She looked genuinely confused for several seconds.
Then eventually she quietly moved closer beside me again before resting her head against my shoulder.
"...Did I scare you?"
The question sounded strangely small.
I stayed silent for a moment before answering honestly.
"...A little."
Lillith’s fingers slowly tightened around my sleeve.
"But," I added quietly, "I’m more worried about what happens when someone actually makes you angry."
Silence filled the carriage afterward.
Then softly—
Almost absentmindedly—
Lillith replied:
"...You already saw that."
For a while after that, neither of us spoke.
The carriage slowly continued forward through the darkening forest while the sounds of the wheels and horses filled the silence between us.
Lillith remained resting quietly against my shoulder.
Like nothing had happened.
Like she hadn’t just erased eight people from existence moments ago.
Meanwhile I stared blankly toward the ceiling of the carriage trying process the conversation we just had.
Eventually I sighed softly.
"...Lillith."
"Mhm?"
"When you attacked that fortress..."
She slowly looked up toward me.
"Did anyone there surrender?"
For the first time in a while, she didn’t answer immediately.
Then quietly—
"A few tried."
Something about her tone already told me the answer.
"...And?"
Lillith looked down slightly.
"They still worked for the people who hurt you."
I closed my eyes briefly.
Right.
Of course.
To Lillith, once someone became connected to hurting me—
That was it.
There was no distinction after that.
No innocence.
No mercy.
Eventually I spoke again.
"You know normal people don’t think like that, right?"
Lillith blinked once.
"...I know."
The way she answered sounded strangely distant.
Almost like she had spent a very long time hearing those exact words.
Then after a moment she quietly added:
"But normal people also wouldn’t cross an entire country for someone."
I didn’t really have a response to that.
Because honestly—
She was right.
Most people wouldn’t.
Most people couldn’t.
Silence settled again afterward.
The sky outside had become much darker now while moonlight slowly filtered through the trees around us.
Then suddenly Lillith shifted slightly before looking up at me again.
"...Are you angry with me?"
The question caught me off guard.
"You destroyed a noble territory," I answered carefully.
"You didn’t answer the question."
I looked toward her properly then.
For once—
Lillith genuinely looked uncertain.
It was strange seeing that expression on someone who could probably level cities by herself.
I thought quietly for several moments before eventually speaking honestly.
"...I think what you did was horrifying."
Lillith lowered her eyes slightly.
"But..."
She immediately looked back up.
"...I also know you only did it because of me."
A faint silence followed.
Then slowly—
Lillith smiled.
Not her usual possessive smile.
Not the playful one either.
This one looked softer.
Almost relieved.
Then suddenly she leaned forward and wrapped both arms tightly around me again.
"I love you so much."
"...You say that at least twenty times a day."
"It’s important you remember."
"I physically cannot forget."
"That’s good."
I sighed quietly but didn’t push her away.
After a little while, the carriage finally emerged from the forest onto a wider road illuminated faintly by moonlight.
Lillith glanced toward the distant horizon thoughtfully.
"At this pace, we should reach the Valenor border in around four days."
I nodded slightly.
Honestly, the thought of finally returning home felt surreal at this point.
Then another thought suddenly hit me.
"...What are we even going tell my family?"
Lillith looked genuinely confused.
"The truth?"
"You destroyed part of another kingdom."
"They kidnapped you first."
"That does not magically improve the situation."
Lillith seemed unconvinced.
Then after another brief silence, she tilted her head slightly.
"...Do you think your mother likes me?"
I stared at her blankly.
"What?"
"She was very nice last time."
"That’s what you took from this conversation?"
Lillith ignored me completely while thinking out loud.
"I think your father respects me."
"He’s terrified of you."
"That counts."
I rubbed my forehead tiredly.
Then suddenly Lillith leaned closer again before softly whispering beside my ear:
"Do you think they’d approve if we got married soon?"
I nearly choked instantly.
"LILLITH."
She blinked innocently.
"What?"
"You cannot casually say things like that."
"But I’m serious."
"That somehow makes it worse."
Lillith looked genuinely puzzled while I sat there trying recover mentally.
Meanwhile outside, the carriage continued rolling steadily beneath the moonlit night toward the distant border of Valenor.
