Chapter 64: Chapter 63
The introduction of a Late Core Formation Nether-Realm Shadow Leopard into the master courtyard fundamentally altered the local ecosystem.
For one, Su Mei the fox maid had entirely stopped walking upright. She now navigated the garden by pressing her back flat against the walls, sliding from pillar to pillar, her fluffy tail wrapped tightly around her waist in a permanent state of high alert.
For another, Yan Shuo finally had a heating pad that actually moved.
It was a crisp, clear morning in the sixth month of his house arrest. Yan Shuo reclined comfortably on his jade cushion beneath the peach tree. Sprawled aggressively across his lap, belly-up and dead to the world, was Sesame.
The terrifying apex predator of the forbidden mountains had completely surrendered to the soft-rice lifestyle. It turned out that being a domesticated pet to the sovereign of the dark path was vastly superior to fighting for territory in a damp cave. Sesame received supreme-grade spiritual energy just by breathing the air near Yan Shuo, and the jade cushion was heavenly on his joints.
Yan Shuo lazily scratched the beast right under its chin.
Sesame let out a deep, vibrating purr that rustled the grass within a ten-foot radius. The leopard had even grown accustomed to the bright pink silk bow tied securely around its neck.
"You have sold your pride very cheaply, beast," Yan Shuo murmured quietly, his dark eyes gleaming with amusement.
Sesame opened one glowing purple eye, looking up at the fifteen-year-old youth. The leopard let out a soft, dismissive mew, casually stretching its front paws.
Pride is cold and requires hunting, the leopard’s ancient instincts seemed to reply. This cushion is warm, and the scary lady in red feeds me.
Before Yan Shuo could impart any more demonic wisdom to his new furry disciple, the heavy wooden doors of the courtyard swung open.
Tantai Zhi marched into the garden.
She was not carrying her crimson sword today. Instead, she was carrying a massive, incredibly ornate wooden tub, steaming with hot water. Floating on the surface of the water were hundreds of crushed, supreme-grade cleansing herbs that smelled intensely of peppermint and mountain pine.
Sesame’s purple eyes snapped entirely open. The purring stopped instantly.
Every single hair on the Shadow Leopard’s black body stood straight up. It scrambled to its feet, its tiny claws digging into Yan Shuo’s white robes for dear life.
"Good morning, Husband!" Tantai Zhi beamed, setting the massive tub down on the grass with a heavy thud. She rolled up the sleeves of her white inner robes, her golden eyes locking onto the trembling black furball on Yan Shuo’s lap. "And good morning to our precious little Sesame! It is bath time!"
Sesame let out a horrifying, demonic screech that sounded like tearing metal.
The leopard didn’t care about the hot water. It cared about the cleansing herbs. Nether-Realm beasts naturally accumulated dark, shadowy Qi to maintain their fur. Tantai Zhi’s supreme Yin-infused bathwater would aggressively scrub away all of its natural, terrifying aura, leaving it smelling like a fresh meadow. It was the ultimate humiliation for a creature of the dark.
Sesame looked frantically at Yan Shuo.
Save me, Sovereign! the leopard’s panicked purple eyes begged. I am a creature of the Abyss, just like you! You cannot let her put me in the peppermint water!
Yan Shuo looked at the terrified apex predator. He looked at the steaming tub. He looked at his beautiful, fiercely determined wife, who had already manifested a scrubbing brush made of condensed ice.
Yan Shuo’s pragmatic, calculating mind ran the numbers. If he defended the cat, Tantai Zhi might decide that he also needed a supreme herbal scrub to ensure his meridians were clean.
Yan Shuo casually lifted his hands and gently pushed the Shadow Leopard off his lap.
"Be a good boy for your mother, Sesame," Yan Shuo said smoothly, giving the beast a flawless, encouraging smile.
Sesame hit the grass with a betrayed squeak.
Before the leopard could even attempt to bolt over the courtyard walls, Tantai Zhi was there. Her hand clamped down on the scruff of Sesame’s neck with the inescapable, crushing grip of a Late Nascent Soul Grandmaster.
"No running, little one!" she scolded cheerfully. "A clean beast is a healthy beast! We cannot have you tracking forbidden mountain dirt onto my husband’s lap!"
With a single, effortless motion, she plunged the Late Core Formation shadow-monster directly into the steaming tub of peppermint water.
A muffled, gurgling wail echoed across the courtyard. Water splashed violently over the sides of the tub as the leopard frantically paddled, but Tantai Zhi’s grip was absolute. She hummed a sweet, happy melody as she aggressively scrubbed the beast’s dark fur, completely ignoring the fact that it was currently trying to summon a localized eclipse out of sheer panic.
Yan Shuo leaned back against the peach tree, poured himself a cup of tea, and watched the show.
Betrayal is the first lesson of the demonic path, little cat, Yan Shuo thought, highly entertained.
Fifteen minutes later, the ordeal was over.
Tantai Zhi lifted the dripping, miserable creature out of the tub. With a precise wave of her hand, a burst of warm Qi instantly dried its fur.
The result was catastrophic.
Without the heavy, dark Qi weighing its coat down, Sesame’s black fur puffed out in every direction. The terrifying, sleek Shadow Leopard now looked like an angry, static-charged dandelion.
Tantai Zhi gasped, her hands flying to her cheeks.
"Husband, look!" she squealed with absolute, maternal delight. "He is so fluffy! He looks like a little black cloud! Our furry son is the most handsome beast in the sect!"
Our furry son.
Yan Shuo nearly choked on his tea. He quickly covered his mouth with his sleeve, masking a genuine bark of laughter as a polite cough.
Sesame slumped onto the grass, completely defeated. He smelled entirely of fresh pine needles and peppermint. He didn’t even have the energy to hiss when Tantai Zhi securely tied a fresh, baby-blue silk ribbon around his neck.
"Now that you are clean," Tantai Zhi announced, sitting cross-legged on the grass and pulling a small jade bowl from her spatial ring, "it is time for breakfast! Growing boys need pure energy!"
Sesame’s ears perked up slightly. Finally, some compensation for his suffering. A fresh slab of spirit-meat? The bloody core of a fire-boar?
Tantai Zhi set the jade bowl down in front of the leopard.
Inside the bowl was a pale, glowing, semi-translucent porridge.
It was the exact same Ten-Thousand-Year Snow Lotus root porridge she had been feeding Yan Shuo for the past two months. Completely flavorless, devoid of any mortal fire impurities, and possessing the exact consistency of wet paper.
Sesame sniffed the bowl. The leopard recoiled, its nose wrinkling in profound, ancient disgust.
What is this? Sesame looked at Tantai Zhi. Where is the blood? Where is the crunch of bones?
"Eat up, Sesame," Tantai Zhi commanded, her voice turning strict. "I read that raw meat contains violent chaotic energy. My husband’s meridians are sealed, and you sleep on his lap. If you eat chaotic meat, your aura might agitate his curse! Therefore, you are on a strict vegetarian diet!"
Sesame stared at the glowing porridge. Then, the beast slowly turned its head and looked at Yan Shuo.
The look of shared, profound suffering that passed between the ancient Demon Lord and the Nether-Realm Shadow Leopard was instantaneous and deeply spiritual.
I understand now, Sesame’s purple eyes communicated silently. I am so sorry I judged you. You are not a hostage. You are a martyr.
"Eat it, Sesame," Yan Shuo said, a deeply sympathetic, yet highly amused smile touching his lips. "It builds character."
Knowing that defying the Goddess of Slaughter would result in another bath, Sesame closed its eyes, lowered its fluffy head, and began to miserably lap up the flavorless lotus porridge.
Tantai Zhi beamed, clapping her hands together.
"We are doing such a good job raising him, Husband," she said happily, sliding over to sit directly beside Yan Shuo. She leaned her head against his shoulder, entirely content. "He is so well-behaved. He will be a perfect guardian for you while you heal."
"You are a wonderful mother to him, Zhi’er," Yan Shuo chuckled, wrapping an arm around her waist.
The morning passed in a peaceful, bizarrely domestic haze.
After breakfast, Tantai Zhi decided it was time for "enrichment activities." Since Sesame was technically a cat, she assumed he needed to play.
She stood up, walked to the center of the courtyard, and pulled a glowing, supreme-tier Righteous Alliance artifact out of her spatial ring. It was a massive, intricately carved jade flying sword that belonged to a fallen elder. It radiated powerful orthodox Qi.
"Sesame! Look here!" Tantai Zhi called out, waving the priceless artifact like a cheap wooden stick.
The fluffy, peppermint-scented Shadow Leopard looked up from the grass, utterly confused.
"Fetch!"
With a flick of her wrist, Tantai Zhi hurled the supreme-tier flying sword across the courtyard. It embedded itself deeply into the thick trunk of a sturdy oak tree near the outer wall, vibrating with a loud thwack.
Sesame just stared at the tree. He was an ambush predator. He did not retrieve objects.
Tantai Zhi put her hands on her hips, her golden eyes narrowing. A microscopic thread of world-ending killing intent leaked into the garden.
"I said," Tantai Zhi repeated, her voice dropping into a chilling, demonic register, "fetch the toy."
Sesame didn’t walk. He practically teleported.
The leopard launched himself across the courtyard, grabbed the hilt of the massive jade sword in his tiny jaws, and desperately ripped it out of the tree. He trotted frantically back to Tantai Zhi, dropping the priceless, drool-covered artifact at her feet, and let out a subservient, high-pitched mew.
"Good boy!" Tantai Zhi cheered, her terrifying aura vanishing instantly. She patted his fluffy head. "You are so smart! Let’s do it again!"
Over by the side pavilion, Su Mei watched the entire exchange while aggressively dusting a window frame.
The fox maid watched the absolute peak of the Righteous Alliance’s weaponry being used as a chew toy for a suppressed, terrified monster, all while the ancient Demon Lord laughed softly from his heated cushion.
This is not a cultivation sect anymore, Su Mei thought, a single tear rolling down her cheek. This is a lunatic asylum, and I am the only sane hostage left.
As the afternoon sun began to set, casting a warm golden light over the courtyard, the chaotic energy finally settled down.
Tantai Zhi returned to Yan Shuo’s side, happily exhausted from a full day of "parenting." She curled up next to him on the jade cushion, resting her head in his lap while he gently stroked her dark hair.
Sesame, worn out from fetching jade swords and eating wet paper, crawled over and collapsed heavily across Yan Shuo’s feet. The beast let out a long, dramatic sigh before falling into a deep sleep.
Yan Shuo sat quietly, surrounded by his fiercely devoted, terrifying wife and his fluffy, lethal guard-cat.
He looked down at Tantai Zhi’s peaceful, sleeping face. The calculating, pragmatic Demon Lord tried to find a flaw in this scenario. He tried to tell himself that this was just a temporary arrangement.
But as the warm spring breeze rustled the peach blossoms above them, Yan Shuo felt a strange, tight sensation in his chest that had absolutely nothing to do with his sealed curse.
A family, Yan Shuo thought, the word feeling entirely foreign, yet strangely right in his mind.
He leaned his head back against the tree, closing his eyes. If the Heavens wanted to strike him down for his past sins, they would have to get through his wife and his cat first.
And honestly, Yan Shuo pitied the Heavens.
