’Food, no, baby wipes, no, weapons armor…where is it…’ I thought while rummaging through the multiple tabs of my inventory until finally…
"AHA!" I half shouted, half-whispered while withdrawing a long, rolled-up unit of heavily braided rope.
My muscles tensed as I lifted the coil almost the size of my body and dropped it beside me on the ground with a soft THUNK.
’Alright, what’s the best way to do this? Instance rock is notoriously hard to chip, so it’s not like I can go all rock-climber and use a grappling…hook…’ Glancing down at the neatly coiled rope and back up to the two-foot-wide crevice in the ceiling, a plan began forming in my mind.
’That might work…but my strength isn’t high enough,’ squinting my eyes, I noticed a small stone face jutting out of the crevice about seven inches long.
Plopping down on the ground beside my rope, I quickly undid the bindings, keeping it secure and tightly wound before gripping the end and examining it carefully.
Next, I went into my inventory for a second time and pulled out the extra pair of boots before depositing them on the floor and moving on to the next item.
Soon enough, I had a bunch of items that roughly weighed about as much as my body, along with a camping backpack, and began loading it all inside.
Once the backpack was loaded with all it could handle, I fastened the rope through the handle of the backpack and then down through both the straps, followed by knotting it several times over with a constrictor knot, *one of the most secure and effective binding Knotts.*
’Thankfully, I don’t weigh much, or else this idea would fail miserably; still, 40-ish pounds isn’t too bad; it’s at least manageable with my Physical Offense.’ I thought as I uncoiled the rope carefully and then picked up my backpack to test how heavy it was.
’Now, what’s the best way to go about this? Clearly, I have to get it up and around the little ledge…’ Glancing around the tunnel for a better vantage point, I couldn’t come up with anything solid, so I did the most obvious idea and began hurling the backpack into the air.
At first, I executed some low tosses, catching the backpack and then immediately throwing it up a little higher. Still, with each increase in height, I noticed the strain building in my shoulders, back, and biceps, making me frown until I stopped and placed my backpack on the ground again.
’It’s too high up…’ The reason I did some light tosses was to test my physical strength with the weight of the pack, and after a couple of tries, I determined the Maximum height I could lob the backpack was, at best, 30 feet, aka about 15 feet short of my goal.
’Shit…next plan.’ Reaching down and scooping up the backpack, I slung it over my left shoulder, then grabbed the coiled rope before positioning it on my right shoulder.
’Tsk, it’s heavier than I thought,’ I grumbled as I made my way over to the wall closest to the crevice above, but I didn’t stay there long; unfurling the rope and letting it drag on the ground, I kept looking from the crevice to the wall and back.
Placing my back against the wall, I proceeded to slowly walk forward, putting one foot directly in front of the other, measuring out how many steps it was from the wall to my hopeful hidey-hole.
’18 steps,’ stopping right under the crevice, I dropped a quarter uncoiled rope on the ground and took a couple of slow, deep breaths.
’SUPER SECRET…’ Crouching down and assuming a runner stance, I positioned myself on a collision course with the tunnel wall.
’DARK SECRET…’ Pushing off on my left leg, I exploded into motion and ran full speed at the wall.
’AWESOME ANCIENT TECHNIQUE!!!’ Counting down each step I made while sprinting.
Four Steps, Three Steps…two…one.
’WALL RUN OF EPICNESS!’ I screamed in my mind as I pushed off the ground with all my might, jumped into the air, and ran up the wall.
The goal was to cut down the difference between my full-strength throw and the ceiling, and the method I devised was…my super secret, dark secret, awesome ancient technique…ok, it’s a dumb name, but I was mainly trying to hype myself up.
With each step I took up the wall, I felt my forward momentum slowing down, and after six verticle steps, I kicked away from the wall with every bit of strength in my legs, slung my backpack from my shoulder into my hand, spun it around like a pendulum, and released….
Only to have it all go wrong from there.
Frankly, my execution would have been perfect had the fucking rope not wrapped around my leg accidentally when I kicked off the wall, entangling not one of my legs but both…so instead of seeing the vision of my backpack flying through the air, instead I found myself along for the ride, as the 40-ish pound backpack hurtled through the air.
’FUCKKKKK!’ I screamed with my eyes locked onto the target.
Amazingly enough, even through all that, I somehow hit my target; it’s just that instead of the backpack looping around the rock and falling back to the ground, somehow, the strap caught on it.
Thirty seconds later, I found myself hanging upside down, 30 feet off the ground, wondering where I went wrong with my carefully and perfectly executed plan.
’hehhhh, FUCK!’ dangling there like a helpless rabbit stuck in a trap, I flailed about angrily.
I probably would have continued the act, too…if I hadn’t heard a sound that made my heart sink.
Each time I moved, a faint shredding sound came from above, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that my angy-thrashing was causing the strap of my backpack to fray and shred.
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Thankfully, my keen perception picked the sound up, causing my tense body to go limp suddenly.
’Alright, that’s enough temper tantrum, let’s get out of this mess.’ Carefully, I bent my body at a 90-degree angle in a perfect ab crunch, grabbed the rope, and began unwrapping it from my legs.