Chapter 31: Chapter 31 - Civil
"I will apologise, if only to keep us from wasting time on this. But don’t mistake it for regret. I did what I had to. I’m sorry," Lilith said, her voice without warmth. "Does that make you feel better?"
Cassian turned to face her, surprised she had apologised at all, even though it was only to move on. "I understand that you wanted to make it look as real as possible for the princess and the queen to believe it. Still, you could have planned it with me. When are you going to trust me, Lilith?"
"I had faith that if I told you my plans, you wouldn’t spoil them. I allowed you to sleep beside me last night when you weren’t yet my husband. I am very careful about who lies beside me. That might not mean much to you, but it means a great deal to me," Lilith said.
"I could have fought you all night to get you to leave the bed," Lilith said, her eyes finding his. "This isn’t going to be easy. I have been burned one too many times to simply forget the past and trust you without caution. This is who I am."
"I know it is who you are," Cassian said, the sigh escaping his parted lips. "But as I prove myself, I hope that begins to change."
"It will, in time. I didn’t like Solomon when I first met him, but he became one of the men I trusted most in the castle. All I ask is that you don’t rush me. Take the small steps I offer you," Lilith said.
"Very well," Cassian agreed.
Eric’s words lingered at the edge of his mind.
Cassian had to keep reminding himself that this was not the Lilith who had already fallen in love with him.
"But no more poisoning yourself, Lilith. No more plans that leave you so weak I have to carry you around. I made the offer once before, and I will make it again. Use me," Cassian said, willing to act as her sword.
"Calm yourself. I am not going to harm myself again. This was just once, to fool the queen and the princess. I was careful about what I chose. It was mild in comparison to what I was poisoned with before," Lilith said calmly.
"No one will poison you again. I will leave you to rest and have your food sent up," Cassian said, already turning to go.
"I want to plan my wedding," Lilith said before Cassian had taken a single step.
"Lilith," Cassian exhaled.
"It’s surprisingly enjoyable," Lilith said quietly, an unfamiliar shyness coming over her. Her gaze drifted to the open window. "Before, it wouldn’t have interested me at all, but when you have control over it, it becomes something enjoyable."
Lilith tapped her finger lightly against the bed.
Since the marriage didn’t feel so forced upon her, she found she didn’t mind the thought of a wedding or the planning of one.
For the first time since returning, Cassian saw it. A moment where Lilith was simply sharing what she felt with nothing else behind it.
"I will send some of my servants to help you plan the wedding once you have rested and eaten. I look forward to seeing whether you can bring it together by tomorrow."
"We live in a castle, Cassian. There are enough servants here to make anything happen within a day," said Lilith.
"I must also tell you that my family and more of my people will be arriving at the castle. They should be here by morning," Cassian informed her.
Lilith turned from the window to look at him. "Your mother once served the queen."
"When she was called upon, but she was never truly loyal to the queen. We all played our roles to remain civil and protect our land. I cannot promise you will like each other straight away, but she will not be your enemy," Cassian promised.
"I never formally met her. I only saw her in passing. As long as she is civil, she will not become my enemy either. Do give her a proper introduction when the time comes. I already have enough trouble with my own family. I would not like to find enemies in yours as well," Lilith said, the warning a gentle one.
Cassian smiled.
"I am quite serious. You do love your mother, don’t you?" Lilith asked, a threat lingering behind her question. "I have learned that even good women send daggers in the dark. If she is truly good, then I will be good in return."
Lilith laid back against the pillow, letting the words settle in Cassian’s mind.
"My mother is a good woman," Cassian assured her.
"Then you have nothing to worry about. Arthur used to say the same of his mother, and yet she would send intruders to kill me in the night. As long as others are good to me, I will be good," Lilith promised.
"Don’t take this as plotting against your relatives, because I am not. It is an early warning not to pull me into any family drama. I may well like your mother, and that could be a wonderful thing," Lilith said, leaving the door open to it. "I look forward to meeting her properly."
Cassian didn’t add anything. He simply walked out of the chamber, the door closing softly behind him, already thinking about getting Lilith food since she hadn’t had the chance to eat the night before.
Lilith sighed, relieved.
Finally, a moment to herself.
Lilith sat up and swung her feet over the side of the bed. The cold of the stone floor made her flinch at first. Her body was still weak, but not so weak that she couldn’t move about.
As long as Cassian believed she was slowly recovering, his guard would stay down. It helped that she had thrown him the bone of an apology, and he had taken it.
Lilith brushed her hair back over her shoulder as she rose to her feet. A low groan escaped her at first, but the discomfort eased quickly enough. She moved across the chamber to a table laid out with daggers and arrows, all the metal catching her eye as the sun settled on them.
Lilith quite enjoyed the weapons being at her fingertips.
From the range of weapons arranged around the chamber, Cassian was clearly a man who kept his skills broad.
Lilith picked up a dagger and turned it slowly in her fingers, inspecting the sharp blade.
From now on, it belonged to her.
