Chapter 29: Chapter 29 - Apologies
Lilith turned her back on the door as it closed.
Cassian’s words had taken root in her mind and wouldn’t leave.
Soft cries filled the chamber as Lilith sat with what Cassian had said to her and the threat he had made about Mary.
Lilith pressed her hand against her chest, trying to ease the ache that had formed there. There was no antidote for this particular pain, but she wished there were.
Lilith pressed the back of her hand to her eyes, trying to remove any trace of tears. She was weak for crying so easily over what Cassian had said.
She was better than this.
Lilith yearned to have Solomon or Mary at her side as their presence was the only thing that ever truly settled her, but Solomon was gone, and if Mary came close, she would only place herself in danger.
Lilith couldn’t bear for any more of the people she cared for to be harmed. She had to remain alone as she always had.
"Gather yourself," Lilith said quietly, the words meant only for her own ears.
Lilith dried her face with her fingers until the last trace was gone. The tears persisted for a moment longer, but after several deep breaths, the ache in her chest slowly faded.
There was no going back now. Crying would solve nothing.
Meanwhile, outside the chamber, Cassian gave orders to his soldiers and dismissed them, leaving only Eric at his side.
"You look furious," Eric observed, studying Cassian’s face. "Is it because of what you told me last night?"
Eric glanced along the corridor, checking that no one was within earshot. "Are you still upset by what she did?"
"Shouldn’t I be?"
"As her lover, yes. But as a soldier who has faced war, I was genuinely impressed by what you described. I didn’t expect a princess would go to such lengths, and now I find myself curious about what else she has planned before all of this," Eric said, his interest in Lilith growing.
"She should have told me," Cassian said, his hands resting on his hips. "I have told her to use me."
"Cassian, if you told me to use you, I would struggle to do it. You must remember that this is not the same Lilith you knew before. You are not yet married to her, and she is not in love with you. You might be trusting with her, but don’t expect the same in return," Eric said, wanting Cassian to face reality.
"First, you couldn’t accept that I had been given a second chance with her, and now you are defending her actions," said Cassian.
"Believe me, I am not yet fully convinced of everything, but to doubt you would be to think you have lost your mind entirely. I am willing to accept that there are forces beyond our understanding, and that you experienced one of them," Eric said.
"Her Highness has been all you have thought of since we arrived at this castle, and though her methods were far too extreme, I urge you not to let it ruin your chance with her. I didn’t expect you to share the chamber with her so peacefully," Eric offered.
Cassian exhaled slowly. The words he had said to her still sat uncomfortably in his chest. "I told her that I owned her."
"I don’t know the princess well, but I would wager she didn’t take that at all well. You chose the most stubborn woman alive, one who trusts no one, to fall in love with. You have only yourself to blame for what you must endure," said Eric.
"Are you saying I should simply forgive her?" Cassian asked, the resistance evident in his tone.
"I didn’t say that, so don’t put words in my mouth. I’m saying you know the princess. Don’t act surprised by who she is," Eric said. "She is the princess and seen as your woman, but right now she is without power. Give her some, so she doesn’t have to resort to harming herself to feel in control."
"Eric," Cassian said, his gaze fixed on the man before him. "Go and see that my bedchamber is being prepared, and send word to my lands for the others to make their way here. It is time my family arrived."
"As you wish, Your Grace," Eric replied, bowing his head before departing.
Cassian turned and pushed open the chamber door. He knew Lilith wouldn’t want to see him, but he needed to move her.
As he opened the door, he caught the faint sound of soft crying. Then silence the moment the door swung wide open.
Lilith had been weeping, but even if he said so, she would never acknowledge it.
"It is time for you to move to my bedchamber. Don’t argue with me about this, Lilith. It is the safest place for you to be right now. Until we wed, I will sleep on the floor," Cassian promised.
"Do as you wish. After all, you own me," Lilith replied.
"I was wrong to say I own you."
"Don’t take it back now. You spoke your mind then, so stand by it. It doesn’t bother me," Lilith said, but it wasn’t the full truth. "You have taken over the castle, so you may do as you please. I will always be seen as your reward."
"I apologise for threatening to harm your maid and for saying that I own you, but everything else is what I felt, and I won’t take it back," Cassian said, unable to soften his truth to spare her feelings.
"My father used to go after the people around me because he couldn’t kill me. And now my husband makes the same kind of threat," Lilith said, a short, humourless laugh escaping her lips. "I am cursed to have had him as a father, and now you as a husband."
"Take me to your chamber and spare me the apologies. The whole thing is so pathetic I could weep," Lilith said as she pushed herself upright.
Cassian moved to help her.
"Don’t touch me," Lilith said, her glare sharp enough to cut Cassian’s flesh. "You lost that privilege."
Cassian ignored Lilith’s wishes. "You told me to do as I please, so that is what I will do. I am not your enemy, Lilith. Stop making me out to be one."
