Chapter 101: Chapter 101 - Hard to believe
Lilith stepped away from Cassian, puzzled by how he knew of her past. "How did you do that?" she whispered.
She had never believed in the powers Virgil claimed were granted to him, so she certainly did not believe what Cassian was saying now.
Yet, despite her disbelief, there was no other explanation for how Cassian seemed to know all her secrets. The servants who had known the stories from her childhood were long gone.
Not even Mary knew the tales Cassian spoke of.
"I speak the truth, Lilith. I don’t know how I did it, nor why I was granted this second chance. I once wondered if it was a dream I had fallen into, but if it were, you would have loved me, and I would have chosen to continue where we left off," Cassian said.
"You truly believe you went back in time? Were we married before? Do you not think you have struck your head?" Lilith asked, believing even more that he was mad.
"Then how do you explain what I know about you? How did I know where to find Virgil? How was I able to pick out the servants who troubled you? How did I know Mary was loyal to you? What reasoning do you have for that?" Cassian pressed, stepping forward.
He continued, "I could have stalked you for years, but that would never uncover the secrets I know. It is what happened, and I cannot explain it. At times, I can still feel where the blade I used on myself pierced me," he said, pressing his hand against his chest.
Lilith’s gaze followed his hand, a feeling she couldn’t explain building in her chest.
"I am not like Virgil," Cassian assured her, knowing her fear. "I don’t claim to be a man gifted with power by the heavens. I won’t go around making the townspeople worship me like some god. My only concern has always been to reach my wife."
Cassian saw the doubt flicker in Lilith’s eyes.
There was no other way to explain all that he knew, but Lilith’s conviction against Virgil and his talk of powers was so strong that she refused to believe Cassian’s words.
Cassian expected anyone who heard his tale to laugh at him.
Lilith remained silent, her thoughts running wild. She considered the possibility that Virgil had spoken the truth. That he had been granted some kind of power. The idea unsettled her deeply, for Virgil would never leave her alone.
If Cassian had truly done what he claimed, then what would stop others from doing the same?
"Stand right there," Lilith commanded, halting Cassian before he could approach. "Keep some distance between us until I decide what this is. I was right that you are mad."
"I am not mad. I knew what I needed this second time around, and I came for it. You always dreamt of becoming queen, so I gave you that wish. You wanted your father dead, so I handed his head to you," Cassian said, reminding Lilith of his gifts.
"So, you truly stormed the castle all because I wanted the throne? You did that for me when I am not in love with you. You do know that I am not in love with you, don’t you? Whatever Lilith, you married and loved, that is not me," Lilith said, hoping he was not delusional.
"I know you do not love me now, which is why I have been gentle in my approach. At first, I saw you as the Lilith who married me, but I came to an understanding. I will wait for you to fall in love with me," Cassian said in a soft tone.
"Wait?" Lilith chuckled bitterly. "You got me to marry you."
"The marriage was to secure your hand, but I will wait for you to love me."
"And if I don’t?" Lilith asked, her eyes narrowing.
"I can live with knowing you are well at my side," Cassian answered, but his eyes betrayed hunger for more.
"I don’t think that is possible. With the way you act at my side, you shall want more, and I don’t think I am capable of giving more now. We are comfortable with each other," Lilith said, preferring it to remain that way.
"In my eyes, we are supposed to be dead right now. Every day, every moment spent with you is a reward. I would like for you to love me, but I am satisfied," Cassian said, his words carrying a quiet desperation.
Lilith searched his face for doubt, but she found none. "After last night, I am quite certain you are satisfied. I don’t fully believe what you speak of. I don’t want to believe it because of men like Virgil, who boast of unworldly power."
"I think you behave as you do because the war overwhelmed you. All the death has unsettled your mind, so you are not yourself, as your men said. What I want from you is not to think of me as your former wife. I am not that Lilith," Lilith said, unable to change. "I am not the one who loved you."
"I understand that, Lilith," Cassian replied quietly.
"Good. Then, when I make plans, I don’t think of what the Lilith you knew would do. I am different, and I don’t want to hear of another version of myself. I find it very difficult to believe that I would leave the castle and settle down elsewhere to become a wife. Your wife," Lilith said, finding that part hard to believe.
"I still have feelings, Lilith," Cassian murmured, his eyes softening.
"Oh, don’t take it as an insult. We never spoke before you killed my father, so I find it difficult to understand why I would choose you to marry after leaving the castle. Why did I live without trying to kill my father? I would have died trying," Lilith said, disliking a version of her who gave up.
"You were severely beaten, Lilith. You were fortunate to escape being hanged by your father."
