Chapter 83: Old me.
Ella.
Eva really had the nerve to stand there and call me her best friend, as though the word still meant anything between us. The same Eva who had shamelessly crawled into my husband’s bed without even a flicker of remorse, as though betrayal was something she could dress up and walk away from clean.
The thought alone made something inside me twist painfully.
At that point, all I could think about was smashing her skull against the nearest wall—just once, just enough for her to understand even a fraction of what she had put me through.
I wanted her to feel it—the shock, the pain and the humiliation. Every broken piece she had forced into me.
"Why make her feel pain, when we can just kill her and send her corpse to Alex?" Nyx asked suddenly, her presence inside me stirring violently, like a storm pressing against my mind, restless and eager.
Her words were sharp, unfiltered, almost excited.
I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to stay grounded despite the dark temptation creeping in.
"Calm down, Nyx," I replied inwardly, tightening my mental hold as I tried to suppress the rising anger. "There are many ways to kill a rat." My voice was controlled, but beneath it, the bitterness was obvious, thick and heavy. "I will definitely get my revenge on her."
I paused briefly as I felt a familiar touch—Lurgard’s hands gently holding mine, rubbing them in a steady, calming motion as if trying to anchor me back to reason. The warmth helped slightly, but it didn’t erase the fire burning in my chest.
"I guess I’ve been too calm," I muttered under my breath, my gaze hardening as the thought settled deeper. "Too calm... that it’s allowed Alex to keep acting foolishly, and Eva to even have the courage to show her face in front of me."
My grip tightened unconsciously.
"Exactly, you have!" Nyx responded at once, her energy surging again inside me as if she was trying to reinforce every dangerous thought I was already having. "You need to go back to the old you!" she insisted, her voice rising with intensity before gradually fading into a quieter, almost satisfied silence.
That’s right.
But... I didn’t even fully know who the "old me" was anymore.
That realization lingered uncomfortably in my chest, settling there like something I couldn’t easily shake off no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.
Still, one thing was becoming clearer with every passing second.
Slowly, steadily, it began to form in my mind like a thought I could no longer push away.
I needed to protect my pup. Yes—that part was non-negotiable, something I would always put above everything else.
But beyond that... I also needed to reclaim myself.
Whoever I used to be before everything shattered.
Before everything changed me.
Before I became this version of myself that didn’t even recognize her own reflection fully anymore.
If Nyx believed so strongly in that old version of me, then maybe there was a reason for it. Maybe there was something still left inside me that I had been refusing to acknowledge. Something buried, but not completely gone.
And if that was true...then maybe it was finally time to stop holding back.
And make everyone who turned my life into misery finally pay for every piece of pain they had caused me.
"Theresa! Theresa... Theresa...!" Lawrence’s voice suddenly broke through my thoughts again, sharper this time, more urgent, as though he had been calling me for a while and was only now getting through to me.
The sound dragged me back from that edge of thought, pulling me once again into the present moment whether I was ready or not.
And then, I lifted my gaze to him, blinking once before fully focusing on his face.
One of the key ways I could regain my memories completely was through the triplets. That much I had already understood. But there was a complication—one that made everything far more difficult than it should have been.
I needed to get closer to them.
And yet, at the same time, for the sake of my pup, I had to avoid them.
The contradiction alone made my chest feel tight.
I let out a deep, quiet sigh before finally responding, my voice coming out a little reluctant. "I can hear you, Lawrence," I said evenly, though my tone lacked enthusiasm.
"But..." he started, then paused briefly as if choosing his words carefully before exhaling louder. "...Theresa, you could have told me, when you knew Alex was pestering you," he added, concern evident in his tone.
I didn’t respond immediately.
Part of me already knew this conversation was going in circles. Besides, Lurgard was aware of everything involving the gifting situation, so logically, he should have already informed them.
"If Leonard hadn’t checked the CCTV footage, we wouldn’t even know he came looking for you," Lawrence continued, his voice now carrying a stronger edge of concern.
Oh... that.
That incident.
I remained silent for a moment, my expression unchanged.
"It won’t take even a second," he went on, frustration and protectiveness mixing in his voice. "I would have filed a restraining order against him..." He paused briefly, brushing a strand of hair back from my face in a calmer gesture, though his expression darkened slightly as he looked toward Lurgard. "...never to be seen anywhere around you," he finished firmly.
I nodded once.
"Okay," I simply said.
That was all.
But the moment the word left my mouth, I could immediately feel the shift in the atmosphere.
Both of them stared at me.
"Just okay?" they asked in unison, disbelief laced in their voices as though my response had been insufficient, or worse—completely wrong.
For a brief second, something inside me snapped with irritation.
I almost wanted to slap both of them right across the face.
What exactly was their problem?
What else did they expect me to say?
Were they seriously waiting for praise, applause, or some kind of emotional breakdown over a restraining order?
