Chapter 30: 30: What Is Beneath The Façade
My eyes twitched in irritation.
What’s wrong?
Did he just ask me what’s wrong?
There were so many things that were wrong with this. I was in no place to outwardly berate the Alphas for their decisions and actions, especially with my position in the pack right now, but I sure as hell could think of it in my head.
If Soren really didn’t know what was wrong, then he was even more stupid than I thought.
Everything was wrong.
We may not have accepted each other, but the way he played with my feelings was even more sinister than whatever his other two brothers could do. I could still remember the way he looked away when Violet practically accused me of stealing Willow’s design. He gave me that dress. Yet, he chose to stay silent as I was accused of theft and nearly stripped, only for their plans to go through later on.
Every single positive emotion that had budded in my heart for Soren was crushed the moment he looked away. He was perfectly fine with tossing me to the wolves, figuratively and literally.
"Nothing is wrong, Alpha Soren," I forced out through gritted teeth. In fact, I made sure to plaster on the most genuine smile I could muster at the moment, fueled by the minor gratefulness I felt for his offering of food. That, at least, did warm my stomach when I needed it most. "It’s been a tiring day, and I simply need some rest. Unless you need me for something?"
"N-No," Soren said, shaking his head. He frowned, confusion shaping his features. "There’s nothing I need. I just wanted to see how you were doing―"
"As you can see, I am shaken but fine," I said, cutting him off.
Every second I spent talking to him was another cut into my patience. It was already stretched thin, and I needed him gone before I snapped.
Soren was much nicer than his brothers were, but no matter what, he was still my Alpha. That meant that torturing me was nothing more than a snap of his fingers.
My life and well-being were in the palm of his hands. He could be nice to me and offer me stew and a pretty dress, and he could also toss me into the dungeons to rot with the torture devices for the rest of my life if he wanted to.
If I dared to openly disrespect him, I couldn’t be sure whether or not his façade would crack.
I realized I didn’t even know who Soren was as a person. He was always the second Alpha of the Shadowclaw Pack, and that was all I ever knew. I had never seen his true personality, and I no longer dared to assume that his kind-hearted nature was the truth. It could just be another layer of him, and when every single layer was peeled away, the center could very well be just as rotten and cruel as Rowan and Cassian’s were.
This was a risk I couldn’t take. The dress was simply a lesson I had to learn.
"So," I continued, "I thank you for checking up on me, but you should really get back. I am sure the Luna is still waiting for you."
Soren’s lips were pursed tightly into a straight line at the word ’Luna’. His eyebrows furrowed, scrunching up into themselves, and he stared at me as though I were an impossible puzzle.
My heart skipped a beat. I couldn’t tell if I should be worried about the way he was staring at me, but the more he did, the more uneasy I felt.
Even with all that big talk and resolution about keeping my distance, Soren and his brothers were still my fated mates. If I didn’t reject them, I would still be tied to them. One look from him was enough to send my heart into a gymnastics routine.
"W-What is it?" I asked, stuttering. "Is there something on my face?"
As I said that, I raised my hand to wipe at my lips. Maybe there were still some remnants of the stew that I hadn’t cleaned off.
Without warning, Soren’s hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. My eyes widened in surprise as I instinctively tried to tug my hand away. His fingers burned me, but the feeling was welcomed and didn’t hurt one bit. It tingled and tickled, feeling like tiny shots of lightning had been pumped right into my skin in the most rejuvenating manner.
"What are you doing?" I asked, panicked. When I tried to tug my hand back a little harder, Soren’s grip merely tightened. "Alpha Soren, please let go of me―"
"You’re upset," Soren stated. "I want to know why."
His face was so close that it felt like our noses were going to touch. I didn’t even realize that he had edged in, cornering me between him and the wall. I inhaled sharply when he met my eyes. His eyes were like molten gold, swirling with such fierce intensity that I found it hard to look away.
There was something in his words that made me want to spill all of my dirtiest, darkest secrets. I couldn’t tell if he was manipulating the unbroken mate bond between us to get the truth out of me, or if he was trying to microdose me with his Alpha command.
"I..." The words were choked up in my throat. Every nerve in my body wanted me to spill the beans and tell Soren what I was truly thinking, but I was still stubbornly clinging onto the last shreds of my rationality.
I could die. This could be the last thing I would ever say.
"I..."
"Tell me, Briar," Soren said. He leaned in, pressing his forehead against mine. I felt my heart skip yet another beat. In fact, it felt as though it had crawled up my chest and was now lodged in my throat. "What is bothering you?"
I could practically hear the last string of my sanity snapping.
Tears raced down my cheeks. Soren, shocked, moved away. He blinked a few times, at a loss for what to do. To be fair, I didn’t even know why I was crying. A mix of fury, heartbreak, and indignation coursed through me.
"Why didn’t you say anything?" I cried out, leaving Soren stunned.
