Chapter 155: Episode 155.
Adele lay facing her window when the door opened. She didn’t turn when her door opened slowly in the most scandalous way.
She already knew who it was.
The scent alone was enough.
Torak.
She shut her eyes briefly, swallowing a heavy lump in her throat in anticipation of what her father would do if he ever decided to walk in at the wrong moment.
Behind her, Torak stepped inside fully.
"I brought you flowers," he said quietly behind her. He paused when she did not reply. He knew she wasn’t asleep yet. He could hear her breathing.
Softer, trying not to disturb her fragile silence, he spoke again. "Lily of the valley."
Adele didn’t move.
Her gaze stayed fixed on the moon outside her window, pale and indifferent in the sky like it had no stake in anything she was going through.
"Take them away," she said flatly. "Good night, Torak."
A soft breath left him.
"You love them," he said anyway. "I’m sorry I haven’t gotten you any in a while."
Her jaw tightened. "I said take them away," she repeated slowly, and crappy. There was no softness in her voice, just warning.
Torak blinked. He immediately felt unsettled.
She wasn’t like this last night.
"Adele..." he began carefully. "Did something happen?"
Silence responded to him.
Just when he didn’t expect, Adele turned. Her eyes met his, and that alone changed the air in the room.
Slowly, she pushed herself upright on the bed in controlled measure.
"I don’t want them, Torak," she said. "I don’t want you here either."
Torak forgot to breathe for a second. He didn’t react outwardly at first. He simply stepped forward and placed the flowers on the table beside her bed.
Adele’s eyes followed his every movement. She couldn’t afford to miss anything, and it pissed her off.
Torak sat close beside her. He sat too close for someone she was pushing away.
Adele’s breath shifted slightly.
Torak lifted his hand and placed it gently against the side of her face. Then he leaned forward until his forehead rested against hers.
The contact made her inhale sharply.
"Talk to me, Adele," he said quietly.
Her throat moved. "Its nothing," she said, her voice rough at the edges. "Just leave."
"It’s something," he disagreed immediately. "It’s written all over you."
Adele’s fingers curled against the bed sheet.
For a moment, she didn’t speak.
The silence stretched too long. Inwardly, Adele was mad. Mad at the realm, the moon, the moon goddess and every cure she have to endure being a werewolf and a Blackfen.
Adele swallowed, and finally, she parted her lips. "Would you do something for me?" she asked quietly.
Torak didn’t hesitate. "Anything."
Adele’s eyes didn’t leave his. Her chest heaved rapidly. She instinctively leaned closer to him. "Defile me." she requested.
The air stopped completely.
Torak blinked repeatedly. His hand dropped from her face immediately. Disbelief spread across his face with alarm.
"No," he said instantly, firm and final. "I’m not doing that."
Adele’s face fell.
Torak’s voice softened immediately when he saw her face drop. "What would make you ask me that?"
Adele pulled away from his hold abruptly. His proximity suddenly burned, and she could tell he thought of her as crazy.
She turned her back to him.
"I can’t attend the mate ball next year," she said instead.
Torak frowned. "That’s not—"
"I need a reason not to," she cut in softly, already tired.
"I’ll be there, Adele," he said quickly. "We—"
Adele shook her head immediately. She cut him off, tired of the high horse he was trying to make her think she would ever be able to rise above. "I can’t choose you. I don’t even want to."
Torak exhaled slowly through his nose. He chuckled once, then again. He recoiled into his self in disbelief.
Just when he thought things were fine between them. Everything in him broke loose. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, as he tried to hold himself together.
"I’ll tell you something right now, Adele. The worst part is..." He began, then paused to laugh. His laugh came out strained, and hollow at the edges. "I know I could love myself too."
Adele’s shoulders tightened slightly.
"I just don’t understand why I’m never enough for you."
He dragged a hand down his face. Frustration bleeding through every movement now.
"Maybe this was never supposed to happen," he continued. "Maybe you really do deserve someone better. But I swear, I would tear the sky apart for one real chance with you."
His voice cracked slowly, which was crazy, because this was the sacrastic Torak everyine knew. "And somehow you still look right through me. You disregard me."
Adele didn’t move, but she heard him. She heard all of him.
"You can be cruel without even noticing it," he said, quieter now. "I keep acting like I’m fine with whatever pieces of you I can get."
Adele’s voice dropped. "I never wanted to hurt you." She admitted, for whatever it would worth.
"But you do." Torak pointed out.
He looked away before she could see what she was doing to him.
"You only reach for me when everyone else disappears," he said. "To you, I’m something you return to when the world is empty."
Her chest tightened.
"We’re not even together," Adele whispered, like it was supposed to make it less real.
Torak let out a quiet laugh in self rejection and self acceptance at once.
"Do we really have to be together for you to treat me like I matter and with an ounce of respect?" His voice softened painfully. "How many times are we going to do this? You push me away, I leave, and every single time, you pull me back again before I can breathe properly again."
Adele swallowed hard. Her figers fixated. "You want something I can’t give."
"No." He shook his head immediately. "That’s what you decided for me."
His jaw tightened. "You never even asked what I wanted. You just assumed you’d fail me before we even started."
Adele’s gaze dropped to the floor beneath her feet. Her heart beat slowed. Guilt flashed through her eyes, sharp and immediate.
"I thought I’d ruin us," she admitted quietly.
Torak’s laugh came out hollow in reply. "You already did."
That made her flinch.
His eyes lifted to her again.
"Why are you the one hurting me," he whispered, visibly hurting now. "but I’m always the one holding you together afterward?"
Adele turned back to him slowly.
And for the first time, she looked uncertain under everything she built.
"I don’t know how to do this," she said quietly. "I can’t chose you."
Torak didn’t answer. He just pushed closer to her on the bed. At this point, he was holding himself together by force now.
"I don’t know how to choose without destroying something," she added. "I’ll destroy you."
Torak immediately reached for her face when she said those words. This time, there no hesitation, or gentleness.
"Adele," he warned, and then he kissed her.
His kiss wasn’t gentle, nor soft as his hand left her face, and gripped the back of her neck, pulling her closer.
He let out everything fustration to collapse into the contact.
Adele froze for half a second, then grabbed him.
The kiss deepened. Torak bit her lower lip when she refused to part her lips. Adele’s breath hitched, and she instinctively parted her lips.
Torak’s tounge immediately moved into her mouth, and tangled with her tongue, sharp with frustration and grief and need they both hated admitting.
For a moment in Adele’s life there was no palace, no fathers, and no mate ball. Just them breaking against each other.
Torak stopped. He didn’t pull away slowly, but suddenly. He pulled away like something had physically torn him back.
Adele’s chest rose sharply.
Empty air hit her where he had been. Her breath shook, as her eyes lifted to his immediately, confused.
She was about to say something, when she stared into his green eyes, and saw why he had stopped.
A single unexpected tear had fallen from his eye. It tracked down his cheek without asking for permission.
He didn’t wipe it away.
He just stared at her, hating what he was feeling.
"This..." he said quietly, his voice wrecked now. "This would be the last time I ask you, Adele Glinda Blackfen."
He went on soflty after a light pause. "Let me be your mate. Attend the ball. For me."
Adele shook her head, more certain. "I can’t," she whispered.
Torak closed his eyes for a moment.
When he opened them again, he looked like someone standing at the edge of something irreversible.
Adele dark gaze softened visibly. "You don’t get it," she went on. "And you never will."
"You’ll want me to defile you than be my mate," Torak said, a chuckle of disbelief and dejection following his words. He looked around the room, and then back into her eyes.
"This..." he pointed between them. "Whatever this is, is over. We must sever all connections between us."
Adele drew in a deep breath, and lifted her chin. "Alright," she replied, in final acceptance. So quickly like she had been waiting for him to say those words, and to her, they were words of relief.
Torak’s face fell. "Alright," he nodded in acceptance.
He stood up from the bed, straightened himself, and walked towards the door. He took one last look at her, and walked out.
