Chapter 137: Theron’s Marriage Jokes
The council meeting had barely begun when Theron struck.
Lord Pemberton was presenting the weekly trade report, droning on about grain shipments from the southern provinces. Most of the council was half-asleep. Lady Ashworth was examining her nails. Even Aeron’s attention seemed to drift.
Then Theron leaned forward.
"Lord Pemberton," he said, cutting through the monotony. "A question."
Pemberton blinked. "Of course, Your Highness."
"Your wife. Lovely woman. Been married, what, twenty years?"
"Twenty-three, Your Highness."
"And in all that time, has she ever objected to sharing you?"
Pemberton’s face went blank. "I... sharing me?"
"With another partner. A human, perhaps." Theron’s smile was innocent, almost sweet. "I’m asking because my own marriage involves rather more people than traditional, and I’m curious how other couples manage the... logistics."
The chamber went silent.
Pemberton’s mouth opened and closed. His face turned a shade of red that clashed violently with his formal robes.
"I—that is—my wife would never—we are strictly—" He sputtered to a halt.
Theron tilted his head. "So, you’re saying traditional wolf marriage doesn’t allow for multiple partners? How fascinating. And yet here we are. Four of us. Perfectly happy."
Lady Ashworth’s quill snapped.
Seren kicked Theron under the table.
He didn’t even flinch.
"The queen is kicking me," he announced cheerfully. "I think she disapproves of my line of questioning."
"I disapprove of wasting council time," Seren said, but her lips were twitching.
"It’s not wasted. We’re learning about traditional marriage customs. It’s educational." Theron turned to Lord Halden, who had been staring at his own hands as if hoping they would swallow him. "Lord Halden. You’ve been married three times. Surely you have insights."
Halden looked like he wanted the floor to open beneath him.
"I... marriage is... it’s a sacred bond between... one wolf and... one..."
"One wolf and one other wolf," Theron finished. "Yes, we’ve established that. But what about love? What about connection? What about the simple fact that some people have more than one soulmate?"
"That’s not—the bond doesn’t—" Halden gave up and buried his face in his hands.
Kael snorted. "You broke him."
"I didn’t break him. I liberated him from conventional thinking."
"You broke him."
Aeron rubbed his temples. "Theron. Perhaps we could focus on the grain shipments."
"I am focused. I’m simply also curious about the social implications of our marriage. Isn’t that what council meetings are for? Discussion? Debate?" Theron spread his hands. "I’m debating."
"You’re terrorizing the nobility."
"I’m *normalizing*." His voice lost its teasing edge. "The more I joke about it, the less strange it becomes. The less they fear it. The more they realize that four people can love each other without the sky falling."
Seren stopped kicking him.
He was right. Of course he was right. The conservatives squirmed because they didn’t know how to react. Theron’s jokes forced them to confront the situation, again and again, until it became mundane.
Until it became ordinary.
"Carry on," she said.
Theron grinned.
The meeting devolved from there.
Theron asked Lady Ashworth if she would consider a second husband, given the shortage of eligible wolves in the southern provinces. She threatened to resign. He asked Lord Pemberton if the crown should commission a study on polyamorous bonding. Pemberton pretended to be deaf.
He asked Elowen, who had returned from the east for the week, whether she would object to sharing a throne with three brothers.
Elowen’s response was immediate and sharp. "I would object to sharing air with you if I had a choice."
"But you don’t have a choice. We’re family."
"Unfortunately."
"Family is beautiful."
"Family is *exhausting*."
Theron pressed a hand to his heart. "You wound me."
"I wish."
Kael laughed. Even Aeron’s lips twitched.
Seren watched the conservatives shift in their seats, uncomfortable but no longer outraged. They were learning. Slowly. Painfully. But learning.
After the meeting, Seren cornered Theron in the corridor.
"You’re insufferable."
"I’m effective."
"You made Lord Halden cry."
"He didn’t cry. His eyes watered. There’s a difference."
Seren shook her head, but she was smiling. "You’re normalizing us by being obnoxious."
"I prefer ’charmingly persistent.’" He took her hand. "The conservatives need to hear the jokes. They need to see that we’re not ashamed. That we’re not hiding. That we’re just... married. Like anyone else."
"Except with three husbands."
"Except with three husbands." He kissed her knuckles. "But the more they hear it, the less strange it sounds. Eventually, they’ll stop hearing it at all."
"That’s very strategic."
"I’m a very strategic person."
"You’re a menace."
"I’m *your* menace."
She pulled him down and kissed him. "Fine. But next time, warn me before you ask Lord Pemberton about his wife’s sleeping arrangements."
"No promises."
"I know."
That night, Seren told Aeron about the exchange.
He was sitting in his study, reading reports by candlelight. His glasses—he only wore them in private—slid down his nose.
"Theron enjoys making people uncomfortable," Aeron said.
"He enjoys making *conservatives* uncomfortable. There’s a difference."
"Same thing, with him."
Seren perched on the edge of his desk. "He’s not wrong. The jokes are working. Lady Ashworth didn’t even flinch when he asked about polyamorous bonding studies."
"She was too busy calculating how to resign dramatically."
"She was *listening*."
Aeron set down his quill. "You’re defending him."
"I’m understanding him. There’s a difference."
He pulled her into his lap. "You’re impossible."
"I’m your wife."
"Same thing."
She kissed him. "The council meets again tomorrow. What do you think he’ll ask?"
"Hopefully nothing involving my sleeping arrangements."
"No promises."
"You’re as bad as he is."
"I learned from the best."
The next morning, Theron arrived at the council chamber with a fresh list of questions.
Lord Pemberton saw him coming and tried to hide behind Lady Ashworth. It did not work.
"Good morning, Lord Pemberton. I was thinking about marriage contracts last night..."
"Please, no."
"...and I wondered: does traditional wolf law allow for the dissolution of a bond? Hypothetically, of course. Not that I’m planning anything."
Pemberton looked at Seren with desperate eyes. "Your Majesty, please."
Seren smiled. "He’s only asking questions, Lord Pemberton. Surely you support free discourse?"
"Not when it involves my—"
"Your what?"
Pemberton sat down heavily. "Nothing. Never mind."
Theron beamed.
Seren kicked him under the table.
He didn’t even flinch.
