Chapter 218: 218 | A Scumbag’s Guide to Aggressive Friendship
Felicity was watching my face. "You just went somewhere."
"Thinking."
"About how to say no politely?"
"About how to say yes without it destroying my relationship."
Her smile softened into something almost genuine. "Text Sloane. Tell her exactly what’s happening. Full transparency. If she trusts you, she’ll be fine with it. If she doesn’t trust you, that’s a problem you need to address anyway."
"You’re very good at making terrible ideas sound reasonable."
"It’s a gift. Eleven AM tomorrow. Meet me at the front gate. Bring your wallet and an open mind. Leave your paranoia at home."
She walked away before I could respond, her ponytail swinging and her shorts still criminally short.
I watched her go and wondered exactly how much trouble I’d just agreed to.
I texted Sloane that night.
The conversation went about as well as expected.
Sloane: You’re doing WHAT with WHO
Me: It’s a purely platonic shopping trip. She wants to help me buy clothes.
Sloane: SHE wants to help YOU buy clothes. Do you hear yourself.
Me: I know how it sounds.
Sloane: It sounds like you’re going on a date with someone who isn’t me.
Me: It’s not a date. It’s a friendship establishment exercise.
Sloane: A WHAT
Me: She thinks I’m incapable of being friends with attractive women. I’m proving her wrong.
Sloane: By spending the day alone with her at the mall. Brilliant strategy. Truly masterful.
Me: Would you prefer I go behind your back? Because this is me being transparent. This is me telling you exactly what’s happening before it happens so you don’t find out from someone else and assume the worst.
The typing indicator appeared. Disappeared. Appeared again.
Sloane: I hate that you’re being reasonable right now.
Me: I know.
Sloane: I hate that you’re right about the transparency thing.
Me: I know that too.
Sloane: If she touches you inappropriately I will burn down the entire mall with everyone inside it.
Me: That seems like a proportional response.
Sloane: I’m serious Lukas.
Me: I know you are. That’s what makes it so attractive.
Sloane: Don’t try to flirt your way out of this.
Me: I’m not flirting my way out of anything. I’m acknowledging that your possessiveness is genuinely hot while also reassuring you that nothing is going to happen.
Sloane: You’re impossible.
Me: You love it.
Sloane: I love YOU. There’s a difference.
The warmth through our bond connection spiked. Frustration layered over affection layered over something deeper that she probably wouldn’t name out loud.
Me: I’ll text you throughout the day. Full updates. If anything feels wrong I’ll leave immediately.
Sloane: Fine.
Me: Fine as in you’re actually fine or fine as in you’re storing this for later ammunition?
Sloane: Both. Definitely both.
Me: That’s fair.
Sloane: Have fun at your not-date with your not-girlfriend while I spend my Sunday training alone and thinking about all the ways I could creatively murder a blonde illusionist.
Me: Your support means everything to me.
Sloane: Shut up and go to sleep. I love you.
Me: I love you too.
The bond connection pulsed with something warm and complicated. She was still annoyed. She was also trying to trust me. The combination felt like standing in front of a furnace that couldn’t decide whether to warm you or consume you.
I set my phone down and stared at the ceiling.
Tomorrow was going to be interesting.
Felicity was waiting at the front gate at exactly eleven AM, wearing a sundress that should have been illegal and sunglasses that probably cost more than my entire wardrobe.
"You actually came," she said.
"You sound surprised."
"I gave it fifty-fifty odds. Sloane seems like the type to chain you to her bed rather than let you spend time with another woman."
"She considered it. We negotiated."
Felicity laughed. The sound was bright and carried across the morning air. Several students walking past turned to look at us, and I could already see the rumors forming in their heads.
"Ready to have your fashion sense violently improved?"
"My fashion sense is fine."
"Your fashion sense is hoodies and jeans. That’s not fashion. That’s giving up."
"Hoodies are comfortable."
"Hoodies are what you wear when you’ve decided the world isn’t worth impressing. You’re worth impressing, Lukas. You just need someone to show you how."
She grabbed my arm and started pulling me toward the campus exit. Her grip was firm and her fingers were warm against my skin.
"Is this necessary?" I asked.
"What?"
"The physical contact."
Felicity looked down at where her hand wrapped around my forearm, then back up at me with a grin. "This? This is normal friend behavior. Friends touch each other. It’s not sexual unless you make it sexual."
"I’m not making it sexual."
"Great. Then we’re fine." She didn’t let go.
The mall was a twenty-minute walk from campus, or a ten-minute bus ride that Felicity insisted we skip because the weather was nice and we needed time to establish rapport.
"Rapport," I repeated.
"It’s a friendship thing. You build it through shared experiences and casual conversation. Right now we’re having a shared experience of walking to the mall while having casual conversation about the shared experience."
"That’s circular logic."
"All the best logic is circular. That’s how you know it’s working."
We walked past the campus gates and onto the main road. The commercial district rose in the distance, glass and steel catching the morning sun.
"So," Felicity said. "Tell me about yourself."
"You already know about me. You read my file."
"Files are facts. I want to know about you. The person underneath the facts. The guy who held back during evaluations because he’s hiding something. The guy who comforted a crying sheep girl even though it gained him nothing strategically."
"It gained me potential friendship with a useful ally."
"See, that’s what I’m talking about. You frame everything in terms of strategy. What do you actually care about? What makes you happy? What keeps you up at night?"
The questions were more personal than I expected. I considered deflecting, but something about the way Felicity asked made me think she’d see through it.
"I care about getting stronger," I said. "I care about the people who matter to me. I care about not being a disappointment to anyone counting on me."
"That’s very noble. Also very vague."
"Noble and vague is basically my whole personality."
Felicity laughed again. "What about fun? Do you have fun? Do you know what fun is?"
"I have fun."
"When? Doing what?"
I thought about it. "Training is fun. Getting better at things is fun. Watching other people realize I’m better than they thought is extremely fun."
"That’s not fun. That’s ego gratification. I’m talking about joy. Pure, uncomplicated happiness that doesn’t come from proving anything to anyone."
