The Protagonist Already Knows

Chapter 33: Disgust

*CLANG*

*CLANG*

*CLANG*

[User: 10 / AI Dummy: 0]

[Challenge Completed!]

[Next level!]

Gazing at the lifeless AI dummy on the ground, not able to feel my left arm at all, I grinned ever wider.

The exhilaration...it was intoxicating, addicting.

I felt as if I were at the very top of the world, everything below me utterly insignificant.

At that moment, as I relished in the delight of my victory and felt the adrenaline rushing through my body, I understood something.

When I held my sword, I wasn’t truly chasing after my goal of being the strongest.

I was chasing after that feeling of victory...the exhilaration when you stood above a crushed opponent.

Looking at the toppled dummy below me, my right arm involuntarily trembling, I could only wonder.

How much more thrilling would that be if it were a human...like Ren or even Alaric?

Fighting with my Dao was simply a way for me to prove my strength to myself.

To prove I was worthy of being alive... deserving of future knowledge given to me.

Feeling the healing process in my left shoulder kick in, I finally collapsed on the ground in pain, my sword hitting the ground right beside me.

*CLANG*

I partially understood Grandmaster Kim’s words.

Your emotions and thoughts indoubtably influence the way you fight with your sword: if you’re angry and irritated, you’re more likely to take riskier counter-attacks and vice versa with anxious and nervous.

Thus, if you want to create a complete weapon art, you must have a logical and consistent set of emotions and thoughts when you hold the sword.

He didn’t mean that you had to choose between always being angry, sad, or happy whenever wielding swords.

You simply had to adopt those emotions and thoughts into your weapon art: If I was angry, I would perform this move in a swifter way, but if I was sad, I would perform that same move in a more slowed and controlled way.

Split-second decisions made in battles, choosing whether to retreat or counter-attack, aren’t determined by sense: they’re determined by emotion.

Because I was frustrated, I chose to attack the Dummy and not back up.

Glancing at my sword, I already knew what emotion my combat art would revolve around.

Disgust.

Feeling an odd sense of clarity, I stood up and limped out of the AI dummy room, my motionless left arm resting by my side.

However, conveniently, as soon as I stepped outside the room...

*BZZT*

My smartwatch, usually strapped to my dominant right arm, was now on my left wrist because of the metal armband.

"AHHH"

An explosion of pain immediatly erupted in my left arm as it involuntarily moved to the left from the vibration.

Gritting my teeth and thanking the gods that the top floor of the training hall was empty due to it now being 6 AM, I glanced at my smartwatch.

[Strategic Meeting]

[Ren: Hello, I’ve hopefully added everyone in our advisory to this group chat. A few of us were going to meet up tonight to discuss strategies for our upcoming group exam. It’ll be in our normal advisory room, so come if you can!]

"..."

Resisting the urge to murder Ren, I took a deep breath and stood still, trying to ignore the pain.

However, when I opened my eyes.

Standing under the night-black morning sky, stars shining through the training hall’s glass ceiling, a figure with short amber-brown hair and matching eyes casually glanced at her smartwatch and approached the elevator to head down.

A smile subconsciously appeared on my face, countless fond memories of me reading the very novel that was now my world flashing through my head

Dryly coughing, I paused for a moment, watching as the elevator doors opened wide before her.

However, for whatever reason...as Carissa entered the elevator, she suddenly looked up and held her hand before the automatic doors.

"Are you getting in or not!?"

Oh...right, her eyes couldn’t possibly not notice me.

Looking down to hide my expression, I simply shook my head and turned back around, pretending that I was going to continue training.

Whether you’re reading a book or watching a movie, you’re indoubtably going to have a favorite character out of the many within that world.

It felt a bit weird to say, considering the said novel was now the world I actually lived in, but I did, in fact, enjoy reading this world’s novel and had a favorite character.

But...she was a real person now, not some character controlled by an author.

Alas, I couldn’t be close to her or even in her vicinity...not that I wanted to, anyway.

The body I had transmigrated into had killed her, not just in one timeline but two: the original and the one in which Ren regressed.

Who’s to say there wouldn’t be a third?

The best thing I could do was simply watch.

*DING*

Hearing the elevator doors close behind me, I finally turned around, ensuring I had completely disabled notifications on my smartwatch.

...

...

...

For the first time in a while, I found myself in my dorm room, lying on my bed as the sun rose into the sky.

Closing my eyes, I finally gave in to that tempting sense of exhaustion at the back of my head, slowly beginning to fall asleep for the first time in six days.

Even my gift had its limits.

There was no point in my attending the strategy meeting: Ren would guide the class into a simple system in which groups of students would shift among duties like guarding the castle’s exterior, raiding other advisories’ castles, and watching the golden orb.

Wildcards like Leo and Lily, who surprisingly attended the strategic meeting if I remembered the novel correctly, would simply have free rein to do whatever they liked

Instead, I thought of the Dreg incident on the upcoming Friday.

Although there were no casualties in the novel during the incident, I wasn’t naive enough to believe that would be the case one hundred percent in this world, despite my minimal impact on the timeline.