Chapter 230: Family planning [3]
"If you are ready, then I am ready, but I will not join you in sending our children to the other side of the estate when you want peace. I am willing to strike a deal with you, knowing that once we have children, all that you say now will be forgotten," Eloise said, certain that Damien’s attitude would change.
Eloise had seen it once before with couples around her. They had ways in which they would raise their children planned, and it was all forgotten once the children were present.
"I am willing to take part in this bet," Damien answered, already knowing he would lose. Yet losing for being a good father was something he did not mind. "And what should I wager about you? That you would lean towards my ideas of hiding from the children?"
"I will do no such thing," Eloise said, confident she could win. She offered her hand for the deal to be struck. It was silly to make bets concerning children who did not yet exist, but it gave them something to look forward to.
Damien clasped Eloise’s hand firmly. "We should state our rewards when we win."
"Very well. There is much to be done before we can have our first child. I would not like for our child to be cast into my troubles with relatives like Agatha or Clive. It must be dealt with in due time. Do you think we would be good parents?" Eloise asked, imagining herself in the role.
Eloise could not help going back to what others said of how she wouldn’t know how to be a good mother since she wasn’t raised by one for long.
"I do. You are patient, and I am stern. We are also very loving people. It is a learning experience, and we are wise enough to learn from our mistakes. We will be good parents," Damien assured her. "We have an estate filled with servants when we need help."
Eloise tiptoed to kiss Damien, and he welcomed it. His grip tightened around her waist, keeping her against him. Eloise leaned back slightly as his weight pressed down, though not uncomfortably.
She lifted her hand to cup his face, her fingertips brushing the warmth of his skin. Lost in the moment, she forgot the pot on the fire until the water boiled over and extinguished the flames beneath.
Eloise assumed they would continue with trying for a child now, but before they grew too carried away, Damien pulled back.
"What is it?" Eloise asked, searching his expression for signs of unease. "Did I not kiss you well?" She touched her lips, already tender from his kiss.
"That isn’t the case. We are in your father’s home. My hands feel tied to be respectful," Damien said, glancing towards the quiet room. "I feel seen by a man who is not here."
Eloise followed his gaze, then laughed softly. "I didn’t take you for someone who would worry about such things, but it would be like my father to watch over us here. He would not have stood for us being so intimate in his home."
"Outside, perhaps," Eloise added, her eyes flicking to the pot. "The water has boiled. I didn’t hear it falling upon the flames."
"Would you be against sleeping outside?" Damien asked, moving to take the pot before Eloise could be burned.
"Outside in the dark? I most certainly will not. Many times I heard strange noises outside my window at night and ran to tell my father. Besides, there are no high walls or gates like your estate, so anyone could see us," Eloise said firmly.
Eloise wanted to avoid a scandal, and she, more importantly, wanted to avoid a bug going in places it didn’t belong.
"We should return to the estate tomorrow night so we can sleep there," Eloise suggested, knowing Damien was eager to try for a child. "Then you wouldn’t need to worry about my father haunting you. You must be patient, because I am not going outside."
Already, Eloise could feel the imagined tickle of a bug crawling up her leg, and the thought alone made her shiver. Her scream would wake the neighbours.
"I will carry it. You should have your bath first," Damien said, abandoning the idea of bathing together.
Eloise laughed at his seriousness. "Damien, I was only teasing you. My father isn’t going to haunt you."
"It is about respect," Damien replied, carrying the pot of steaming water to fill the basin. "Even in death, I would not like my children to make love to their spouses in my home."
Eloise shook her head, though she respected his thoughtfulness. He was a gentleman through and through.
"I wish my father had had the chance to meet you again. I am certain he would have been happy about our union, and right about now, he would be telling old stories of us when we were younger. Of how he could have seen this coming," Eloise said, a smile touching her lips before fading.
"I wish he had lived to see us wed and to experience being a grandfather. It was truly unfair for him to fight so hard against his illness only for someone to spoil his hard work. We must visit his grave, and your parents’ as well," Eloise said, her voice softening.
Eloise thought it was only fair that Damien’s late parents got the same attention and care. Their graves should be visited with flowers.
"If it is fine with you, I would like to take flowers to your parents’ graves and give my greetings. We have both lost parents, and they lost the chance to see where we are now. I would like to go," she added, leaving the decision in Damien’s hands.
"We can go soon and take the others. It has been a while since I visited their graves, and the anniversary of their deaths approaches with winter," Damien answered.
At the mention of his parents’ graves, a feeling Damien kept bottled up for most of the year started to slip out. One that always took him to a dark place where he had to shut himself away from everyone he loved.
"Damien," Eloise said, touching his arm. "You must be careful with the water. The pot handle is still quite hot."
Damien’s attention fell back onto Eloise. For her, he wanted to do better with his mourning so he wouldn’t push himself away from her.
