Chapter 85: Chapter
[Don’t read for now]
The popularity of the fanfic was a head-scratcher, to say the least. It was like someone threw all the characters into a blender with a handful of random plot points and hit "puree".
OOC? Check.
Nonsensical plot twists? Double check.
Exotic creatures straight out of fever dreams? You bet your bottom dollar!
Some folks swore it was brilliant writing; others claimed its smut scenes were hotter than dragonfire. But most agreed: the sheer weirdness of it all was what kept readers coming back for more. Like moths drawn to a flickering flame made entirely of existential dread and questionable life choices.
For those reading it? Hilarious comedy gold. But for Carlton, who had to live through these nonsensical events? A constant state of existential dread disguised as an action-thriller (with extra points for animal cruelty). Poor animals were truly living in fear!
Carlton’s mind still reeling from the revelation about exotic creatures populating this kingdom – creatures he’d never even heard whispered about in ancient scrolls or dusty libraries. His brain felt like it needed defibrillating after processing that information alone...
Finally shaking off his mental fog, Carlton decided to confront the source of this bizarre whispering. He marched over to where the seven children were huddled, arms crossed and a thunderous cough erupting from his chest like a miniature volcano.
"Ahem...!!!"
The sound was so unexpected that all seven kids jumped back in unison, their whispers dissolving into startled gasps as if they’d been caught red-handed stealing cookies from the royal pantry. Their original mission – silent observation – had gone out the window faster than a runaway chariot pulled by caffeinated squirrels!
"Daddy!!!"
The simultaneous shriek echoed through the forest, bouncing off ancient trees and startling a nearby flock of brightly colored parrots. Carlton sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly at their lack of stealth. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment; these kids were supposed to be spies now! Apparently, ’high awareness’ wasn’t part of their curriculum yet. And maybe they needed some vocal lessons – those voices could rival a banshee on payday!
Carlton had completely forgotten he was dealing with children ranging from two to ten years old... or perhaps it was just that his brain still hadn’t fully recovered from the shock of discovering an entire ecosystem dedicated solely to bizarre creatures straight out of nightmares.
Nikolai, despite his guilt at being caught red-handed, marched towards Carlton with the unwavering determination only a five-year-old could muster. He grabbed onto Carlton’s hand with both chubby fists like he was clinging to life raft in a stormy sea.
"Daddy," he said solemnly, "We followed you because we’re worried about Daddy and our baby sibling."
Cristina, who had been sobbing hysterically moments before – convinced Carlton was some kind of animal exterminator based on her older siblings’ exaggerated tales – now looked a little calmer. Her short legs tried to tiptoe closer, reaching out with hesitant fingers towards Carlton’s stomach.
"Daddy," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly, "is the baby in your tummy okay? We’re not as heavy as rhinos or bears... so this baby should still be healthy..."
Cristyn, feeling the heaviest weight of guilt for thinking she might have accidentally killed their baby sibling, climbed up Carlton’s leg like it was an impromptu jungle gym. Reaching his belly with surprising agility for someone wearing such frilly pink dress, she patted it reassuringly.
"Baby sibling is strong!" She declared confidently. "Father said that giant anaconda once wrapped around daddy’s body but oldest brother in his tummy is fine! Even now grow healthy and smart!"
Giant snake wrapped around the body?! Not only did other Carlton not miscarry but his body is fine?! But he miscarried when he was hit by a woman who was only half his weight?!
Carlton felt like his brain had entered some bizarre alternate reality where logic took a permanent vacation. His eyebrows knitted together in bewilderment as he processed his toddler’s confident declaration about snake-wrestling pregnancies. There was supposed to be a certain trajectory to fatherhood - maybe discussing the birds and bees someday, perhaps awkwardly explaining where babies come from... but not THIS. Never did he imagine having to discuss his own male pregnancy with a two-year-old who seemed disturbingly well-versed in exotic animal combat.
Most men might discuss their wives’ pregnancies with their children. Not Carlton. Oh no. He got the special privilege of discussing his OWN pregnancies - complete with detailed survival stories about how other Carlton, harbored an insatiable desire to hunt exotic beasts every time he got pregnant – and miraculously, all those babies turned out perfectly healthy!
It was enough to make anyone question their sanity... or at least need a lifetime supply of therapy. Luckily for Carlton, mental fortitude seemed to be one of his superpowers in this crazy new world.
"Listen carefully kids..." he began, forcing a smile that felt more like a grimace. "Everything you hear is... exaggerated... It’s all... not exactly like that..."
He tried to weave a web of normalcy around this utter absurdity, even though the one living through it all was him – Carlton from another dimension! At least he could try to make sense of it for these little ones. Maybe pretending everything was normal would help him cope with this bizarre reality. Even if only for a fleeting moment...
*****
le he was in the buff - then deposited before the Emperor without so much as an explanation.
The emperor felt a pang of guilt for interrupting Lucas’s private moment yet
As he spoke, Alaric couldn’t help but notice how Lucas’s blanket tented obscenely over his crotch, clearly displaying the physician’s own arousal. It seemed even a naked kidnapping by royal decree could not dampen Lucas’s lustful spirits.
Lucas blinked owlishly at Alaric’s question, seemingly oblivious to his own state of undress or the Emperor’s mounting distress. "I did meet with Empress Carlton coincidentally a few hours ago," he replied matter-of-factly. "He mentioned his body feeling quite...hot and asked me for medicine."
The royal physician paused, a sly smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "I told him the only medicine he needed was you, Your Majesty," Lucas purred suggestively, "and I advised him to return to his chamber."
Alaric’s eyes widened in alarm at Lucas’s revelation. Carlton had indeed been experiencing the effects of the fruit, just as he’d feared! The emperor’s heart raced with a mix of panic and primal desire - panic for his missing spouse, and desire to find Carlton on Alaric that Carlton was likely in the throes of passion even as they spoke, several new concerns seized him. Had Carlton wandered off somewhere private to relieve himself? Or worse... what if someone else had found him first and taken advantage of his compromised state?
****
Under the silver glow of the moon, the hedge maze took on an almost mystical aura, its towering walls casting long, eerie shadows across the cobblestone path. Amidst this otherworldly scene strode a tall, broad-shouldered figure - Empress Carlton - his movements unsteady and labored as he struggled to maintain his footing.
"What in the seven hells is happening to me...?" Carlton muttered under his breath, his voice ragged with exertion and confusion. "Why does my body feel like it’s on fire? And why am I suddenly overcome with this...this insatiable need for Alaric?"
The empress paused mid-step, bracing himself against one of the hedges as a wave of desire crashed over him. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to will away the intense arousal that threatened to consume him. But it was no use - every nerve ending in his body screamed for release.
"Is this some sort of aphrodisiac?" Carlton wondered aloud, desperation creeping into his tone. "But when did I ingest such a thing? And why would Alaric...?"
His thoughts trailed off as another shudder wracked his frame. Carlton’s mind raced, trying to make sense of the situation even as his body betrayed him. He knew he should return to the palace, seek out Alaric and demand answers...but the mere thought of seeing him sent a fresh surge of heat coursing through his veins.
The heat coursing through his veins demanded release - no, insisted upon it! But Carlton fought against it with every fiber of his being.
"I mustn’t give in," he ground out through gritted teeth. "I am Duke Carlton! I will not be ruled by my desires!"
But even as he spoke those defiant words, Carlton’s body betrayed him once more. His legs buckled beneath him and he pitched forward, his outstretched hands scrabbling for purchase against the dense foliage. For a moment, it seemed as though he might catch himself - but then his fingers slipped on the dew-slicked leaves and Carlton tumbled headlong into the hedge wall.
The impact knocked the wind from his lung, sending stars exploding across his vision. And in that instant of disorientation, Carlton felt something else take hold of him - a sensation like drowning in an endless sea of blackness. His thoughts scattered like leaves on the wind and all at once, everything went dark... s d d e
