“I just thought... even this time, the benefactor is going to solve it.”
“What?”
At that.
I tilted my head and asked.
“Even this time... what do you mean by that?”
“Whenever something happens in the unit, most of the problems are solved by the benefactor... and we aren’t much help, are we.”
“You’re not help? What are you talking about.”
“Even what happened earlier was like that.”
If it was what happened earlier...
“When you were talking with that monster one-on-one, didn’t you get attacked by a monster that looked like tentacles?”
Ah, that?
For the record, it wasn’t an attack, it was an examination.
But if you only looked at it from the outside, anyone would think it was a sudden ambush.
And.
“Even then, our response was far too late.”
From my perspective, it was amazing they responded at all.
But if you only looked at the result, they only reacted after I’d already been “attacked.”
That part seemed to really bother Jeong Sua.
“I wasn’t in danger anyway. You don’t need to feel guilty.”
I truly thought it was nothing.
But that ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) was probably only my opinion.
“...You were going to come to Seoul alone.”
“Hm?”
“We even overturned your decision to head to Seoul alone and joined as an escort team like this....”
She let out a gloomy sigh.
“And yet, we didn’t properly do the escort job.”
“.......”
“And I understand why you said you’d go to Seoul alone... and why you keep rejecting the royal guard proposals I submit. I knew from the start, honestly... I just didn’t want to admit it.”
And not only that.
Was this fact really that infuriating for her?
“We can’t help the Legion Commander.”
“What?”
“No. If all we did was not help, that would be better. Instead...”
With her fist clenched tight and her body trembling.
Jeong Sua continued in a voice that sounded like she was about to cry.
“We’re... a burden to the Legion Commander.”
At that.
I stared at her and the unit members with my mouth hanging open.
“.......”
“.......”
With their heads lowered in silence.
The unit members wore the same expression as her.
Somehow...
It didn’t look like Jeong Sua was the only one thinking that.
‘You guys were thinking that?’
And on top of that.
In the eyes of Jeong Sua, the very person who said it, there was even a trace of moisture.
The taste I felt from her... was thick sadness and helplessness.
...To be honest.
It was a little bewildering for me.
‘Is this something to be this sad about?’
Sure, they were in a situation where they didn’t do the job properly.
I could understand feeling some resentment about that.
From that angle, I understood the unit members in the back with dark expressions.
But Jeong Sua’s intense reaction honestly felt a bit excessive.
It was enough to make me wonder if there was some other reason I didn’t know.
...But.
If I thought about it more seriously.
‘Maybe she’s been thinking like that a lot even normally, and those feelings kept piling up until they exploded like this.’
...That, you know.
I’m not an idiot.
‘Jeong Sua was... one of the people who showed me the greatest loyalty.’
She, along with a few other soldiers.
Showed me loyalty that bordered on excessive.
Even I knew that much.
In the first place.
It was because I knew that, that I tried as hard as I could not to show weakness.
So the soldiers wouldn’t waver.
‘That’s why I gritted my teeth and hid my physical condition, too.’
From my point of view, I was just one insignificant mess hall soldier.
But to [the Legion], I wasn’t.
More unit members than I expected were leaning on the feats I’d shown as Legion Commander.
My ability had been overestimated to an absurd degree.
But because it had been overestimated like that, the belief was spreading that, ‘If we follow that Legion Commander, we might be able to survive.’
‘Then I can never break the illusion they’re seeing.’
This world is already hard to endure with a sane mind.
In a world like this, the moment that belief—one of the few things still holding their minds together—shatters.
They’ll find it even harder to survive in this world.
Yeah, I knew there were people like that.
And among them, those with especially high loyalty seemed to want to show it to me.
They kept submitting proposals to establish a royal guard.
But.
‘I refused.’
Even though I knew their loyalty.
I kept rejecting that proposal.
According to Minjae, every time I rejected it, they kept adding more content, and it became a proposal document that even Minjae had trouble refuting.
But I never even read those papers in the first place.
There were two reasons.
-How arrogant for someone who doesn’t know their place... .
One was.
That I already had a usable force: vampires.
-Hah! Chasing a position beyond your station when you don’t even have the ability.
“.......”
-Guarding Master is the role of us retainers... .
[Ariella] and the retainers she led, if the conditions were met, could overwhelm even the Legion’s elite soldiers.
If I included the forces we’d been lucky enough to obtain in Gyeonggi, they were so strong that they felt excessive even as my royal guard.
But.
-Be quiet.
-...Yes!
-You’re not exactly in a position to act superior yourself.
If that were the only reason, I wouldn’t have refused the establishment of a royal guard.
The vampires were certainly strong, but that was only when the conditions were met.
-Under the sun, you’re weaker than most awakened people.
-...Ahem, that’s a hurtful thing to say.
They had a clear weakness.
-But Master kept rejecting the proposal that woman submitted, didn’t you?
-I did.
-I assumed it was because you believed we were enough.
Even so, the reason I kept rejecting the proposals related to the royal guard...
Was the second reason.
-If they get too close to me, they’ll learn things they don’t need to know.
-.......
The dark side of this world is thicker than you’d think.
So much so that even I, who had only seen a part of it, could get sick of it.
If I had my way, I’d want to be the only one who knew and keep going.
But.
With a few squad leaders close to me, I had no choice but to share part of it.
‘Even those squad leaders clearly looked shaken when they heard those things. But if a royal guard forms that operates with me from the start.’
They would share information I would learn in the future.
More than those squad leaders.
And in that process... they would learn that someone like me isn’t as reliable as they believe.
That if you look closely, I’m a guy full of flaws.
A Legion Commander they trusted and relied on so much, but actually nothing special.
And... a world so hopeless that trusting a Legion Commander like that isn’t enough to endure it.
‘Then it’s better not to know.’
With that in mind.
I kept rejecting the royal guard proposals until now.
From my perspective, it was a choice made to be considerate of them.
“Since we’re in a position where we can’t help and only have to receive help, we talked about a royal guard and all that... and from your perspective, benefactor, it must have felt like nothing but extra baggage.”
That.
Was how it felt to them.
“This time, you accepted the escort team out of pity, but....”
But.
This time, I accepted the escort-team role she proposed.
From her point of view.
She probably saw it as a chance to perform the role she’d been pushing so hard for.
And to prove its necessity.
“Yet even here, we end up being useless.”
The result was a miserable failure.
They’d just confirmed the fact that they were useless to me.
‘Is it really something to cry like that over... I’m still not sure.’
Still.
I could fully understand the resentment and regret they were feeling.
“I understand why you felt burdened. Now that I realize how far beyond my station those proposals I submitted were... I feel so sorry....”
“.......”
Yeah.
I get it.
“Th, thank you. I showed something ugly. Let’s stop talking about this and focus on the operation—”
“No, wait.”
I get it, but....
“What are you talking about.”
Still.
Those words...
“I mean, is that bullshit?”
“......Yes?”
“I think you’re mistaken about something.”
Sure.
I was the one who stubbornly refused the royal guard proposals.
So I could see how she might think that way.
“You said I accepted the escort-team proposal because I felt sorry for you? Be honest.”
“...Benefactor?”
“That was a pretty disappointing remark, Reconnaissance Squad Leader Jeong Sua.”
“......!”
At my words.
Jeong Sua and the unit members, already gloomy, visibly went pale.
“Sister! What have you done...!”
“Quick, quick, apologize...!”
The unit members panicked openly.
Bowing their heads to me.
“I-I’m sorry! Please forget what I said, please. Please forgive me....”
With reactions like that... honestly, I felt a little bad.
But.
“Pity and all that....”
“Tell me what was wrong and I’ll fix it no matter what—”
Still, listen.
If you’re this deeply mistaken, that’s honestly on you too.
So.
“Did I look like the kind of guy who’d make an inefficient choice like that?”
“What... does that mean?”
I needed to say what needed to be said.
That I felt sorry for you.
So I bent my own will and brought you along?
“What you’re misunderstanding, I’ll make it crystal clear.”
“......?”
“From the start, I’m not that kind.”
Ridiculous.
I looked at Jeong Sua and the unit members with their heads lowered and thought.
This is already a dangerous world.
To survive in it, I was confident I could do anything.
And.
If someone like me allowed them to come along...
“I’m even less the kind of idiot who drags around useless baggage.”
That’s because.
There’s a use for everything.
“I wondered what you were talking about, but it was outrageous nonsense.”
“...S-sorry—”
I rebuked Jeong Sua once.
Then I turned my gaze away from her.
“And it’s a waste that I even entertained that nonsense. We don’t have time. We move straight into the operation.”
I looked at the soldiers.
And began explaining the operation.
“Before I explain the operation, I’ll explain our situation first.”
I sat the unit members down and started.
“First, our unit’s combat power isn’t very strong right now.”
“What do you mean....”
“I have reasons I can’t talk about, so I don’t plan to actively participate in combat.”
“......!”
Aside from Jeong Sua, it looked like they didn’t know about my condition.
They visibly panicked.
“It’s not just me—most of you are awakened people specialized in covert work, aren’t you. If it’s stealth activity in a city, maybe, but in a full-on battle to subjugate monsters inside there, you can’t help but be inexperienced.”
“...We can fight as well as the warrior squads!”
“I’m not saying you’re inferior. Your specialty is just different, so it can’t be helped.”
Assassins are weaker than warriors in frontal combat.
That can’t be helped.
“Second, we have no information on the enemy. As you all know, Seoul is an unknown territory for us.”
“But... if we think about the tactical ability the Legion Commander showed during the Gangwon campaign... even if the enemy is unknown, wouldn’t you be able to crush them easily?”
“.......”
That’s not me, it’s Taejun’s ability....
But I couldn’t just reveal that.
“Well, you know. Even that only works when you know something about the enemy.”
“Is that so?”
“Of course. If you don’t know the enemy, there’s no way a proper operation can come out. You only saw the results of the tactics I drafted, but in truth, there was a complicated process of grasping enemy information in advance inside it.... Something like that.”
“Ooh...!”
Well.
It’s all bullshit.
“Anyway, to summarize: we have no combat power, and we have no information on the enemy. Which means.”
“Which means...?”
“It means it’s the worst.”
At my casual words.
The unit members’ faces filled with alarm.
And.
“In this state, it’s impossible to achieve our objective. So before any real combat, we need to solve the two situations I just explained.”
“I-I see.”
“Unfortunately, the first one... the combat-power issue is hard to solve right away. So.”
I.
Looked at the unit members staring at me with flustered faces.
More precisely, I met their eyes and spoke.
More precisely.
I thought while pointing at one woman whose eyes were still red.
‘Useless?’
What nonsense.
In the first place.
This was a dangerous place.
To be honest.
This wasn’t a situation where I could leisurely listen to a unit member’s worries like earlier.
Whether the content was more serious than I expected or whatever.
There was no reason to stay longer in a dangerous place.
Normally, I would have returned to a safe place and done a private talk after.
“The first stage of this operation starts with gathering information on the enemy and establishing a strategy. And.”
But.
Even so.
The reason I judged that I had to listen to Jeong Sua’s worries here, in this dangerous place, was separate.
“The key to this operation is.”
It wasn’t because she was someone with high loyalty to me.
Or because I wanted to listen because a unit member looked troubled....
“Reconnaissance Squad Leader Jeong Sua.”
“...Yes! Reconnaissance Squad Leader Jeong Sua!”
It wasn’t that kind of reason, obviously.
Because.
“You.”
“...Yes?”
If the core person of an operation was judged to be in poor condition.
This was a situation where we needed to consider a temporary retreat.
