That night.
I had a dream.
No, should I call it a dream.
{Looks like you’ve had quite a hard time.}
“......Ah.”
A pure-white space.
A child sitting inside a pavilion built in the middle of it.
“Were you watching?”
{For now, yes.}
“Then...... you couldn’t have helped me at all?”
At my words.
The calm little brat...... Mirinae smirked and spoke.
{You ask for a lot. You should know what a big deal it was just to hide you.}
“.......”
The infuriating part was—
They weren’t wrong.
‘If it weren’t for Mirinae’s protection.......’
That [Matron] only became aware of my existence at the very last moment.
Because Mirinae hid me from the gaze of external existences.
If that protection hadn’t been there—
The instant I set foot in Seoul, I would have been spotted by [Matron]’s gaze.
‘When I got found this time, I was already in a state where I’d gotten a rough grasp of [Matron]’s abilities and Jang Youngwoong’s limits, so I could resist.’
If [Matron] had gone berserk trying to take me in as their child when I didn’t even understand what was happening—
I would’ve had no choice but to fall for their scheme without knowing a thing.
It wasn’t an exaggeration to say I survived thanks to Mirinae’s protection.
{Still. For all that suffering, it looks like you got a lot out of it.}
“Well...... yeah, I did.”
I got a lot of information.
And I got power, too.
Power that would clearly be useful for surviving going forward.
“Though honestly, compared to how much I suffered, it feels a little small. Still. It doesn’t seem bad.”
{It won’t be just that.}
“Pardon?”
{Looks like it still hasn’t reached you.}
When I tilted my head.
Mirinae clicked their tongue like they expected this and said,
{I called you this time to give you a few pieces of advice.}
Advice?
{You haven’t forgotten, have you? In the land of that old capital, you weren’t the only one who faced ‘Rigreto’......}
“Rigreto?”
{The existence you saw in that capital’s land.}
If it was the existence I saw in the capital’s land—
‘So that was [Matron]’s true name.’
Unlike Dasmuru or Morjan, I’d only faced them as an illusion.
So it seemed even [Ingredients Identification (Enhanced)] couldn’t reach their true name.
{Normally, it’s an existence whose name must not be spoken, but you already met that thing, so it doesn’t matter.}
Mirinae seemed to know even the true name ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) of that existence.
And.
If the advice was about those who faced that [Matron]—
I could vaguely guess where Mirinae was going, and I nodded.
“You mean the soldiers.”
{Yes.}
It really was.
This was something I’d been worrying about, too.
‘Up to now, the only one who’s faced things like an “external existence” or “Divinity” was me.’
I witnessed [Dasmuru] when I cooked and ate [Essence of the Dasmuru Chef].
When I faced [Morjan], I was alone, having reached the deepest part of that [Underground Mine].
Mirinae only spoke to me, too.
Which meant—
“Other soldiers going through something like this...... it’s probably the first time.”
There was the case of that [devil], sure.
But that devil only sent their underlings to this land.
And I was the only one who even sensed that existence.
“A lot of them are probably panicking. Some are probably shaking with fear.”
{Hmm.}
“How am I supposed to explain the existence of that [Matron]...... honestly, I don’t really have a feel for it.”
The fact Mirinae brought this up—
I thought it meant there was some way to stabilize the soldiers who’d be in turmoil right now, or something like that.
But.
{You’re mistaken about something.}
“Pardon?”
{Didn’t you say it? That you got a lot out of that old capital.}
Which meant—
{The fact that the warriors under your command faced Rigreto should be considered good news.}
“Why?”
{No, I’m the one who wants to ask. Why do you treat this as misfortune?}
I ground my teeth and spoke.
“......Because they’re things you don’t gain anything good from knowing.”
{And why?}
“Because it’s too far away.”
Everything I’d vented to Jang Youngwoong was sincere.
“That the cause of this apocalypse is a phenomenon happening across the entire universe, that there are godlike existences outside, that those existences will interfere with this land.......”
{Hmm.}
“Right now, we’re too weak to know things that far away. I thought we’d gotten strong in this land, but we’re still so far—so unbelievably far—from solving the fundamental problem.”
And.
Every time I learned those far-off truths—
The emotion I felt was......
“Despair.”
That no matter what, I couldn’t see any way to overcome this apocalypse.
Despair.
“So there’s nothing good about learning facts that hopeless.......”
{So you decided you’d keep it to yourself?}
“......Not completely by myself. I shared some information with a few squad leaders, at least. But I don’t think it’s something people need to know a lot about.”
“Ha.”
Then.
Mirinae let out a hollow chuckle and said,
{I’ve thought this for a while, but.}
“Pardon?”
{You. You’re a really unpleasant bastard.}
“.......”
At those words.
I couldn’t hold back my irritation.
“You can talk like that because you’re strong.”
{Hmm?}
“When people learn this apocalypse isn’t something you can beat just by killing monsters, that there are even more hopeless existences lying in wait, and you have to solve even their problems...... do you have any idea how much despair people will feel when they learn that kind of dogshit truth?”
{I do.}
“If you don’t even know— ...Huh?”
When I stared at their face blankly.
Mirinae answered evenly.
{I said I know.}
And then—
Mirinae became an extremely aged figure.
A withered old man who looked like they might collapse at any moment.
{You’re right. Overcoming this apocalypse is never easy...... and the more you struggle to overcome it, the deeper into despair you’ll fall.}
“.......”
{No one knows that better than I do.}
How could Mirinae know that.
{But that’s why I’m saying it.}
As if they had no intention of answering my question.
Mirinae continued, flat and steady.
{This is an apocalypse that’s hard to overcome even under the best circumstances.}
And.
From their tone, their expression—
And from the “taste”—
{Abandon the arrogant thought that you can do it alone.}
I......
Realized Mirinae was genuinely regretting something.
And because of that.
I also knew this advice they were giving me was sincere.
{It looks like you think you’re doing it for others, but there’s a clear limit to how much you can bear alone. Right now, you’re spreading the burden among a few people...... but it’s still heavy, isn’t it.}
“Then what do you want me to do.”
{Share more, obviously.}
Mirinae—somehow back in the form of a child again—spoke in a light tone.
{If you try to share too much burden all at once, you might get crushed by its weight, like you said. So...... little by little, you share it.}
“.......”
{Normally, at this point in time, it would’ve been difficult to share that burden. But...... didn’t you have a trigger this time?}
At that.
I understood what Mirinae meant by good news.
“The soldiers faced [Matron].......”
{At the very least, those ones will be curious about [external existences].}
The reason I’d hidden these truths about the universe by myself—
It wasn’t only because I believed it wouldn’t help.
A big part of it was also that I didn’t know how to reveal it.
‘If I just drag the soldiers into an auditorium and start talking about incredible existences outside, they’ll think I’ve lost my mind.’
But.
Not now.
‘The soldiers...... they saw that [external existence] themselves.’
No.
Was it only that?
‘They experienced the time repetition that Matron caused, too.’
Even if I didn’t explain much.
The soldiers would have already sensed that a mighty existence beyond their comprehension was involved with this land.
{And those people are among the best of the ones you lead.}
The hopeless information about this universe that I tried to keep as mine alone—
Those roughly one hundred elite soldiers had directly touched part of that despair.
And because of that.
A “common ground” would exist, where I could share what I knew.
{Start with them.}
“.......”
{Not you alone. Everyone who follows you...... you must make it so that they can resist this apocalypse by their own will, even knowing everything.}
That was the good news Mirinae meant.
Soldiers had appeared who I could share my hopeless information with.
Starting with them, spreading it through the Legion little by little—
Not just flailing to survive day by day without knowing anything.
But raising a force that resists those hopeless truths while knowing them.
“......I don’t know if it’ll be easy.”
{If it were easy, I wouldn’t be giving advice. Isn’t it obvious it’ll be hard?}
“.......”
{Still.......}
“Yeah. I have to do it, damn it.”
Even as I let out a sigh, I nodded.
Mirinae chuckled and said,
{All right. That’s the first piece of advice.}
“......?”
The first.
Which meant—
“There’s a second?”
{Yes. I don’t have time, so I’ll make the second one short.}
Just like they said—
When I looked around, like last time.
I could feel the white space slowly collapsing.
{I tried to help you, even indirectly, but with your current physical condition, even that is difficult. So.......}
“So?”
{For now, do something about that body condition first.}
Do something about my condition.
Easy to say.
“Uh...... how am I supposed to do that?”
{That’s for you to figure out.}
At that.
I answered, dumbfounded.
“As if that’s something I can just—!”
And.
Before I could even finish.
BZZZT—!
The pure-white space collapsed.
*****
“......If it were that easy, I would’ve done it ages ago.”
When I opened my eyes.
I was at an outpost of the unit returning to Gangwon.
‘Morning?’
When I slightly lifted my head.
I could see soldiers outside preparing to move.
And then.
“......!”
The soldiers who met my eyes.
Flinched, and I felt them approaching me.
“......Sergeant Shin.”
Then.
The soldiers hesitated for a moment.
And then—
“About that monster we saw then...... could you tell us?”
“.......”
At that.
I understood why Mirinae spoke to me at this timing.
“That monster back then...... no. That existence was clearly different from the other monsters we’ve seen.”
“We’re not idiots, Sergeant Shin.”
“The way you ordered us to lower our heads, and the way you were the only one who realized the repetition.”
“Sergeant Shin, you know something, don’t you?”
This was exactly the moment.
The only moment where that advice could have meaning.
“Is it information you have to keep secret from us?”
“Do we...... not have the right to know about that?”
If it were the usual me—
I would’ve brushed it off and dodged it here.
But.
“......It’s an enemy.”
“An enemy......?”
“For now, that’s all you need to know.”
The soldiers weren’t idiots.
They would’ve known I had something only I knew.
And deep down, they’d probably felt hurt that I was hiding it.
“But, Sergeant Shin!”
“You don’t have to rush. The rest.......”
So.
This time, I had to give them a definite answer.
“I’ll tell you step by step.”
“......!”
No longer.
Would it be my secret alone.
You, too, after going through that.
You earned the right to know the secret.
“Sergeant Shin......!”
“Thank you!”
Watching the soldiers bow their heads in joy.
I gave a bitter smile to myself.
There was no arguing that gradually revealing these secrets was something we had to do to overcome this apocalypse.
But.
‘Whether it’s something those guys should be happy about.......’
For me.
It was something I couldn’t know.
*****
A few days later.
Our unit escaped Seoul and returned to Gangwon.
With how much happened in Seoul.
Personally, I was in a pretty exhausted state.
But......
BANG!
Falling right in front of my eyes—
Countless stacks of documents.
“From here to here. You need to process all of it.”
“.......”
Unfortunately.
It doesn’t look like I’ll have the luxury of rest.
