Chapter 109: Chapter 108: He Kissed Her
DAMIEN’S POV - Earlier That Evening
Damien had been trying to work when Aria’s text came through.
Rossi’s on 5th. Having dinner with Marcus like I said.
Marcus. The male friend from medical school. The one who’d been at the bar that night. The one who was nice and normal and uncomplicated.
The one who could give Aria everything Damien couldn’t.
The jealousy that flooded through him was immediate and overwhelming.
He’d pulled up his phone, called Julian.
"I need you to have dinner with me. Tonight. Right now."
"I’m already eating. I ordered pizza."
"Cancel it.
Julian had heard something in his voice. "Where?"
"Rossi’s on 5th."
A pause. "That’s where Aria is having dinner, isn’t it?"
"Yes."
"Damien, this is a bad idea....."
"I don’t care. I need to see....I need to know....." He couldn’t finish.
"You need to know if she’s interested in him."
"Yes."
Julian had sighed. "Give me twenty minutes. And Damien? Don’t do anything stupid."
But sitting in the restaurant, watching Aria laugh at something Marcus said, watching her relax in a way she never relaxed with him anymore.....Damien felt his control slipping.
She looked happy. Genuinely happy. The way she used to look with him.
And Marcus was making her feel that way. Normal, uncomplicated Marcus who hadn’t betrayed her, who hadn’t tested her, who hadn’t spent a week torturing her.
"You’re staring," Julian muttered. "Stop staring. You’re being obvious."
"I don’t care."
"Yes, you do. You care very much. That’s why we’re here." Julian took a sip of his wine. "Though I’m still not sure what you’re hoping to accomplish. You told her to maintain professional distance. You’ve been cold and cruel. And now you’re upset that she’s having dinner with a friend?"
"He’s not just a friend. Look at the way he’s looking at her."
Julian glanced over. "He’s looking at her like she’s a friend. You’re projecting."
"He touched her hand."
"To make a point in conversation. Damien, you’re losing it."
He was. He knew he was. But he couldn’t stop.
When Aria stood and headed toward the bathroom, Damien found himself standing too.
"Where are you going?" Julian asked.
"To talk to her."
"Damien, don’t...."
But he was already walking toward the bathroom, his rational mind screaming that this was insane, his heart demanding action.
He pushed open the door to the women’s bathroom and found her at the sink.
The conversation that followed was sharp, heated, both of them angry and hurt and desperate.
And then he was kissing her.
Couldn’t help himself. Couldn’t resist. Couldn’t stand the thought of Marcus or anyone else having her when she was his.
His hands framed her face, his body pinning her against the sink, his mouth claiming hers with desperate, possessive need.
She froze for just a moment. Then she was kissing him back, her hands fisting in his shirt, a small sound of need escaping her throat.
God, he’d missed this. Missed her taste, her softness, the way she responded to him.
The kiss deepened, turned hungry, both of them taking what they’d been denying themselves.
His hand slid down to her waist, pulled her flush against him. She gasped into his mouth, her body melting into his.
This was what he needed. This connection. This certainty that she was his, that whatever she felt for Marcus or anyone else was nothing compared to what burned between them.
He broke the kiss, both of them breathing hard, and looked into her eyes.
They were dark with arousal, confusion, hope.
"I can’t...." She stopped, her voice shaking. "I can’t do this. Can’t have you kiss me like this and then go back to cold and distant tomorrow. It’s too much. It hurts too much."
The pain in her voice pierced through his jealous haze.
What was he doing? Cornering her in a bathroom, kissing her without permission, letting his jealousy control him?
He stepped back, creating space between them.
"You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...." He ran a hand through his hair. "I saw you with him and I....I lost control."
"So you followed me here? Crashed my dinner? Cornered me in the bathroom?"
"Yes." No point denying it. "I told you I’m a selfish bastard."
"You also told me we needed to maintain professional distance. That you needed time. That I needed to prove myself." Her voice was sharp with frustration. "So which is it, Damien? Do you want distance or do you want to kiss me in bathrooms? Do you want me to prove myself or do you want to act on jealousy? Because I can’t....I can’t keep up with your contradictions!"
She was right. He was being completely unfair.
"I don’t know what I want," he admitted. "I want you. But I’m terrified of trusting you. I want distance. But I can’t stand watching you with other men. I want to forgive you. But every time I try, I remember the betrayal and...." He stopped, the truth too painful. "I’m a mess, Aria. And I’m taking you down with me."
Tears filled her eyes. "Then what do we do? How do we fix this?"
"I don’t know."
"That’s not good enough!" The words burst out of her. "I need....I need something. Some hope. Some sign that this torture will end eventually. Because Damien, I’m breaking. I’m breaking and I don’t know how much more I can take."
He wanted to pull her close again. Wanted to promise it would get better. Wanted to tell her he’d figure it out.
But he couldn’t lie to her.
"I’m trying," he said instead. "Every day I’m trying to get past this. To trust you. To forgive you. But it’s not....it’s not happening as fast as either of us wants."
"Then maybe...." She stopped, wiping her eyes. "Maybe I should quit. Maybe we should stop this before we completely destroy each other."
"No." The word was fierce. "You promised. You said you’d endure. You said...."
"I know what I said! But I didn’t know it would be like this!" She was crying openly now. "I didn’t know you’d kiss me and then push me away. That you’d show up at my dinner with jealousy written all over your face and then tell me you still can’t trust me. That you’d...." Her voice broke. "That you’d make me hope and then crush it over and over again."
He had no answer. No defense. Because she was right.
"Go back to your dinner," he finally said, his voice hollow. "I’ll leave. I shouldn’t have come."
"Damien...."
"Please. Just....just go back to Marcus. Finish your meal. Pretend this didn’t happen.
He left before she could respond, left before he did something even more stupid, like beg her to give up on him and find someone who could actually make her happy.
Someone like Marcus. Someone uncomplicated. Someone who deserved her.
But the thought of her with anyone else made him want to burn the world down.
He was truly, completely fucked.
**************
ARIA’S POV - After He Left
Aria stood alone in the bathroom for a full minute, trying to compose herself.
He’d kissed her. In a public bathroom. Out of jealousy.
And then he’d left. Told her to go back to her dinner. To pretend it didn’t happen.
How was she supposed to do that? How was she supposed to sit across from Marcus and make small talk when her lips still burned from Damien’s kiss? When her heart was shattered into even smaller pieces?
She couldn’t.
She washed her face, fixed her makeup as best she could, and returned to the table.
Marcus took one look at her and stood. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"I need to go. I’m sorry. I just....I need to go."
"Did Blackwood...did he do something? Say something?" Marcus’s expression darkened. "Because if he hurt you..."
"No. He didn’t hurt me. I just...I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry. I’ll pay for my half..."
"Don’t worry about it. Just...are you sure you’re okay?"
"No. But I will be. Eventually." She grabbed her coat, her bag. "Thank you for dinner. For being normal. For reminding me what that feels like."
She left before he could respond, fled the restaurant without looking toward where Damien and Julian had been sitting.
Outside, the cold February air hit her face like a slap.
She walked. Didn’t know where she was going, didn’t care. Just needed to move, needed to process, needed to.....
Her phone buzzed. A text.
I’m sorry. For everything. For tonight. For this week. For all of it. I don’t know how to fix this. Don’t know how to be what you need. Don’t know how to stop destroying us both. I’m sorry. - D
She stared at the message, tears streaming down her face.
Sorry wasn’t enough. Sorry didn’t fix the constant push and pull. Sorry didn’t heal the wounds they kept inflicting on each other.
But it was all they had.
She typed back: I know you’re sorry. I know you’re trying. I know this is hard for both of us. But Damien....we can’t keep doing this. Can’t keep destroying each other. Something has to change. Soon. Before there’s nothing left of either of us to save.
His response came quickly: I know. I’ll figure it out. I promise. Just....don’t give up on me yet.
I won’t. But I’m close. I’m so close.
I know. I’m sorry.
She set her phone down and kept walking, her heart heavy, her mind spinning.
How many more days could she endure before she finally, truly broke?
She didn’t know.
But she’d find out.
One agonizing day at a time.
