Chapter 184 - Multiple Thoughts
Tak, Ham Seok-jeong set her cup down.
"It's been a while."
"Yes."
Silence fell again. Cha Eui-jae waited patiently. The distance between them, once close like family, had now grown far. She turned her head and covered her mouth with a fist, coughing lightly. She didn't look well. Ham Seok-jeong struggled to suppress the coughs that kept threatening to escape.
"Have you been well?"
"For now, yes."
"I see... that's a relief."
Cha Eui-jae glanced at the cane leaning against her chair. It was the same cane he had seen during the press conference.
"You've been using a cane."
"Oh, you saw it on TV? So, you don't live out in some deep mountain wilderness after all."
She let out a short laugh. Ha, I can't even make a simple joke anymore. Cha Eui-jae gave an awkward smile as well. Ham Seok-jeong rubbed her left knee.
"I injured myself a few years ago. After that, I stepped back from the front lines... and became an old relic stuck in the backroom."
Another bout of silence. For some reason, their conversation just couldn't flow smoothly. Had they always struggled to keep a conversation going like this? He tried to recall, but even that memory was hazy. Cha Eui-jae blinked.
'This feels oddly unfamiliar...'
Once again, it was Ham Seok-jeong who spoke first.
"When did you return?"
"Oh, not too long ago."
"I see."
"..."
"I won't apologize. Even if I could go back in time, I would do everything the same. I sent Hye-kyung away, and I sent you away. And I would still ask for your help, brazenly."
"I know."
"Good."
The conversation kept circling around, never hitting the core of the matter. They repeated meaningless pleasantries several times. It was frustrating. Out of the blue, Cha Eui-jae asked,
"Aren't you curious why I didn't come to see you sooner, why I'm only coming now?"
Ham Seok-jeong took a sip of her coffee before answering.
"There must have been a reason."
"You were looking for me, weren't you?"
"Yes. When I heard that you had returned alive after eight years but hadn't even shown your face, I wondered if you were too badly injured to move. Or if you had lost your memory."
Cha Eui-jae studied Ham Seok-jeong's face. Her once sharp, raptor-like features had softened with age, but the intensity remained. He used to be scared of her when he was younger. She placed her cup down and stared blankly at the black mask.
"Does that sound like an excuse?"
Ham Seok-jeong leaned back in her chair, a faint smile playing on her stern face.
"Because it is an excuse."
"Yes, I thought it might be."
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Cha Eui-jae sighed and straightened his posture.
Ham Seok-jeong, the first director of the Awakened Management Bureau. She had taken the lead since its inception, renowned for her keen observational skills and sharp deductive reasoning. It wasn't an ability granted by her awakening; it was innate. Even J couldn't hide his true intentions in front of her.
Ham Seok-jeong calmly folded her fingers one by one as she spoke.
"Of course, it's also true that I wanted to find you to protect you if you couldn't defend yourself and to ask for your help to prevent the end. But that wasn't the main reason."
Finally, she was getting to the point. She gazed at her half-folded hand before tilting her head slightly.
"How about Hye-kyung? And the other hunters?"
"..."
Aunt.
Cha Eui-jae's aunt, Hunter Park Hye-kyung, had been as close as a sister to Ham Seok-jeong. Cha Eui-jae swallowed hard. When he finally opened his mouth, his voice came out cracked. Others might not notice due to the distortion, but Ham Seok-jeong surely did.
"Aunt... and the other hunters..."
Cha Eui-jae clenched his fists, shutting his eyes tight.
"I couldn't... I couldn't save them."
"Don't say you're sorry."
Her words were sharp. Cha Eui-jae's head snapped up. Ham Seok-jeong's expression hadn't changed as she looked at him.
"Even you, J, couldn't do it. No one else could have either. Isn't that right?"
"..."
"You must have given it your all. I know. The hunters who went in with you must have done their best too. And yet, this is how it turned out."
His chest stirred uneasily. This wasn't the reaction he had braced himself for, not the response he had prepared for over and over. It was something completely different. Cha Eui-jae lowered his head, unable to speak. Ham Seok-jeong sighed quietly.
"As a director, that's what I'm supposed to say."
"..."
"But still..."
She looked down and muttered to herself.
"I already knew they were dead. I was the one who officially declared them deceased, and it's been eight years. Besides, if Hye-kyung had been alive, she would have come to see me by now. I knew."
"..."
"There were times I wondered what would've happened if I had stopped her from going back then..."
"..."
"But vague suspicions and the testimony of a survivor carry different weight. I'm sorry, but I needed to hear it from you, for myself."
Slowly, Cha Eui-jae lifted his head. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted to see Ham Seok-jeong's face. She...
"I can finally let go."
...was expressionless.
Empty.
As if she had lost something of great importance. Like an empty room.
Cha Eui-jae stared at her, speechless. He wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come out. He thought absently,
'How strange.'
Why am I thinking about Lee Sa-young?
Ham Seok-jeong grabbed the armrest of her chair and stood up. She walked slowly, limping as she made her way around the table to Cha Eui-jae. He couldn't help but notice her uneven gait. She bent down and gently hugged him.
"Thank you. And I'm sorry."
"..."
"Welcome back."
It wasn't like her to act this way. In fact, Cha Eui-jae blinked in surprise.
'Aunt used to do this often.'
What happens to a person when they lose the cornerstone of their life?
'The director...'
Her hand patted his back kindly, much like his aunt's touch. Hesitant at first, Cha Eui-jae slowly placed his arm around her back. Her body felt much smaller than he remembered. As he closed his eyes, he thought,
'She'll live the rest of her life thinking of Aunt...'
The long hug eventually ended. Cha Eui-jae quickly stood to help Ham Seok-jeong back to her seat as she limped away. She looked exhausted once seated. Ham Seok-jeong let out a brief sigh before asking.
"Come to think of it... you seem to be close with Sa-young."
Damn. She saw the article. Cha Eui-jae grimaced. He would have to give the Mackerels another scolding. And then the thought followed,
'Sa-young? That's a bit familiar, isn't it?
Cha Eui-jae replied hesitantly, his face twisted in discomfort.
"Pardon? Well, not really..."
"Aren't you? You looked pretty close in that article."
"No, I just thought... It sounded like you're closer to him, calling him Sa-young like that..."
"Do you think he likes me? Hardly."
Ham Seok-jeong chuckled softly and picked up her cup. The once-steaming coffee had already cooled to a lukewarm state. She closed her eyes and muttered,
"It's been years now. It happened after you entered the West Sea rift. There was a period when Jung Bin and Bae Won-woo were out of contact for months. Their last report said something like, 'I need to care for a child, so I won't be able to return for a while. Sorry.' At first, I thought it was complete nonsense."
"..."
A thought flashed through Cha Eui-jae's mind.
Come to think of it, didn't Lee Sa-young mention once that he used to live with Jung Bin? He had almost forgotten, but the memory resurfaced clearly. Cha Eui-jae found himself focusing more on the story.
"A few months went by like that. We were already short-staffed, but with two of our strongest hunters gone, we were overwhelmed."
That makes sense. With Jung Bin and Bae Won-woo, two of the highest-ranked hunters, out of commission— on top of himself being absent— it must've been chaotic. Ham Seok-jeong sighed.
"Then out of the blue, I got a message. They were bringing a child. I thought we might need to set up a playroom or something, but then they showed up with this tall, lanky young man instead. A bit too old to be called a child."
Is she talking about Lee Sa-young?
"But those two treated him like he was some five-centimeter baby, coddling him constantly. He seemed normal enough at a glance, but his eyes... there was something unhinged about them."
That's definitely Lee Sa-young!
Unhinged eyes? That could only be Lee Sa-young. Cha Eui-jae listened intently as Ham Seok-jeong let out a chuckle.
"Look at that. Your face lights up as soon as Lee Sa-young comes up."
"..."
She couldn't even see his face under the mask, yet she somehow knew. Cha Eui-jae absentmindedly touched the mask. Tak, Ham Seok-jeong set her cup down and clasped her fingers together.
"Well, enough small talk. Let's make a deal."
"...What kind of deal?"
"It won't be anything that harms you."
Cha Eui-jae swallowed nervously. He had no idea what terms she might offer. Ham Seok-jeong smiled, but the smile still carried an air of emptiness.
"Meet with me sometimes and talk. Share stories."
"Sorry?"
"I'll tell you stories about Sa-young that you don't know, and you tell me stories about Hye-kyung that I don't know."
Cha Eui-jae blinked in confusion. Ham Seok-jeong rested her chin on her hand.
"And when you're ready, tell me what happened in the rift. Tell me about her last moments."
"..."
Cha Eui-jae exhaled softly. Ham Seok-jeong smiled, her expression empty.
"What do you think? Doesn't sound like it'll hurt."