Chapter 180 - Wavelength
Lee Sa-young, still holding the phone to his ear, stared directly at Cha Eui-jae. He then made a point of ending the call and tilted his head slightly. As soon as Cha Eui-jae heard the beep, he shot to his feet and stumbled backward, hitting the railing with his waist.
Should I just jump? He glanced downward. From this height, he figured he'd be fine even if he fell. But Lee Sa-young immediately reacted.
"Where are you looking? Turn your eyes back here."
"..."
"Look at me."
Smart bastard. Cha Eui-jae held onto the railing, determined. If push came to shove, he really would jump. Lee Sa-young smiled, but there wasn't even a hint of laughter in his eyes.
"Oh... are you going to fall?"
"..."
"Should I fall with you? This time, instead of the stairs, maybe we should run down the main road, side by side. That would make for an even better rumor, don't you think?"
Who do you think is responsible for this? You don't even understand how I feel. Cha Eui-jae, on the verge of snapping and saying, "Fine, let's both die then!" was interrupted by a dull voice from behind Lee Sa-young.
"Guild Leader, don't you know what it means to be pitiful? You're supposed to act pitiful, not pick a fight."
Beyond the black coat, a red head popped out from the door. It was Kang Ji-soo, whom Cha Eui-jae had glimpsed earlier in the lobby. Next to her was Bae Won-woo, scratching his head with a grimace. Lee Sa-young shrugged.
"Oh... I've never really been pitiful before, so I wouldn't know. My bad?"
Instead of answering, Cha Eui-jae turned his head slightly, enough so only Lee Sa-young's black coat remained in his sight. He heard a faint chuckle from Lee Sa-young. In his place, what entered Cha Eui-jae's vision was Seo Min-gi, crawling toward the door on all fours.
"..."
"..."
Sensing eyes on him, Seo Min-gi glanced back, nodded solemnly, and bowed his head.
"This seems to be a matter that you and the Guild Leader need to resolve personally, sir."
Then he resumed crawling. Resolve it? How? I'm not even in the right state of mind! But before Cha Eui-jae could say anything, Seo Min-gi had reached the door.
He grabbed the doorknob, scooped up the collapsed Romantic Opener, and said,
"Good luck!"
"I hope you have a meaningful conversation."
Then, he shut the door behind him.
BAM!
The sound of the door slamming was like the fall of a guillotine. Soon after, the door vanished, as if it had never existed, dissolving into dust. Only the two of them remained on the rooftop. Cha Eui-jae deliberately turned his head away. White ash gently fell, soft as snow.
A short breath escaped him. Lee Sa-young ran a hand through his hair, the soft curls scattering.
Cha Eui-jae suddenly noticed that Lee Sa-young was holding a square shopping bag in his left hand, with a logo from a Korean set-menu restaurant. Seeing it made something in his chest churn strangely. Lee Sa-young's voice, low and calm, asked,
"Do you hate seeing me?"
No.
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"Then why did you run away?"
...
"Did I do something wrong?"
It was the same question as earlier, but the atmosphere and the tone were different. Cha Eui-jae found it oddly amusing that the accusatory tone suited Lee Sa-young so well. That bold confidence, almost enough to irritate, suited him. Slowly, Cha Eui-jae turned his head. He opened his mouth slightly.
The expression on Lee Sa-young's face in front of him was...
"If I did something wrong, you should tell me what it was. You usually talk just fine, but suddenly, you're keeping your mouth shut. What's going on?"
It was an expression he had never seen before.
"Answer me, Cha Eui-jae."
Lee Sa-young's delicate face gradually twisted. His violet eyes blazed with intensity, but the corners of his eyes reddened, as if he were about to cry.
Cha Eui-jae's mind went blank. His grip tightened on the railing. With a loud creak, the iron rail twisted under the pressure. Lee Sa-young spoke again, clearly and deliberately, enunciating each word.
"I can't know everything. If you don't tell me, I won't know."
"..."
"Guessing and assuming only goes so far. How long do you expect me to wait?"
His breath caught in his throat. His once-empty mind was now flooded with tangled thoughts. What should I say?
"Thanks for waiting"?
No, that's too cliché. And would that be appropriate to say to someone on the verge of tears? Should I apologize? But I already did. Can I repeat what I've already said?
Whenever Cha Eui-jae stood before Lee Sa-young, he always ended up overthinking. But even then, Cha Eui-jae always acted faster than he spoke. He reached out and grabbed Lee Sa-young's arm. The firm muscle he felt through the leather jacket was strangely reassuring.
Expressing his true feelings was difficult. He hadn't always been the most open about everything, but at some point, it became especially hard. There came a time when his words seemed unnecessary. Since the day every word he said carried more weight than he wanted, he had resorted to action instead. He had to, in order to save more people...
"It's not your fault, it's just that I..."
Cha Eui-jae swallowed hard. His throat felt swollen, and even swallowing was difficult. He stammered, continuing with effort.
"It's just... you..."
Thump, thump, thump— his heart was pounding out of control. It was always like this when he was in front of Lee Sa-young. A large hand covered his own, offering him warmth and comfort. Cha Eui-jae gripped Lee Sa-young's coat, crumpling it slightly.
"The fact that you waited for me..."
That was just...
Gulp, he swallowed again.
What does someone who's lost need the most? What does someone who can't even trust themselves need? From the moment Cha Eui-jae entered the West Sea rift, he had been like a kite with its string cut, a ship adrift on a vast sea.
He had wandered for what felt like an eternity.
"..."
Until one day, for reasons unknown, he had suddenly been flung back out of the West Sea rift. After so long. Cha Eui-jae suddenly stopped breathing and blinked. Fragments of memories flashed before him.
Thunk! A sharp blade pierced through the skull, crushing the windpipe with brutal force. Cha Eui-jae bent over, gripping the sword's hilt tightly, gasping for breath. Huff, huff, huff...
It didn't take long for his ragged breathing to slow.
Even though he had killed the last remaining monster, the rift's gate did not open.
Instead,
Silence descended.
There was no sound of wind blowing, no rustling of grass, not even the chirping of insects. This world was eerily quiet. He could clearly hear the sound of his heart pounding— thump, thump, thump. It was the only noise. The more he listened to it, the more anxious he became. How ridiculous, to grow nervous from hearing his own heartbeat.
Cha Eui-jae looked up at the sky. The white sky was still raining down ash. Despite killing the last monster, nothing had changed. No— one thing had changed.
He was now completely alone.
His dry lips parted.
"Why..."
He blinked heavily, struggling.
"Why won't it open?"
Cha Eui-jae released his grip from the sword hilt. His hands, which had turned pale from squeezing too hard, slowly regained their color. A sign that he was still alive. He glanced around.
White and red things.
Things that had stopped.
Things that were dead.
I'm the only one alive in this world.
The moment he realized that, what hit him was—
"I want to go back."
Cold sweat dripped down. He felt like throwing up. Cha Eui-jae lifted his head. The blinding white sky was painfully bright. It was unbearable, so he squinted his eyes. Soon, a single tear trailed down his dry cheek.
"I want to live..."
It was an unbearable loneliness.
A sharp pain snapped him back to his senses. He glanced down to see black fingers scratching the back of his hand. A thin, long, red scratch remained on the back of his hand. Cha Eui-jae looked up. Lee Sa-young was staring at him, his face still twisted as if on the verge of crying.
Their eyes met. Cha Eui-jae's heart, which had been pounding in anxiety, seemed to slow for a moment, only to start racing even faster.
The reason Cha Eui-jae had managed to find his way after being dropped into an unfamiliar place, the reason he hadn't lost his path despite being like a kite with its string cut, floundering in the wind—
The hand that covered his own gently rubbed his fingers, as if urging him. There had been days when even such small warmth felt desperately needed.
After the rift, my life felt like it was built on you. And that's why...
"I was happy."
"..."
"So don't cry..."
As he spoke those heavy words, he felt lighter, as if a shackle had been lifted. Haah, Cha Eui-jae exhaled softly and rested his forehead on Lee Sa-young's shoulder.
Thunk, the shopping bag fell to the ground.
As if waiting for the moment, a large hand wrapped around the back of his neck. The fingers massaged his nape gently, as if praising him. The other hand circled around his waist, naturally. His shoulder twitched. Cha Eui-jae gasped, goosebumps rising as heat rushed to his head in an instant. Ah, wait.
'This isn't right.'
This shouldn't be happening, but his mind was too jumbled to think clearly, perhaps because of the heat. Instincts urging him to be closer conflicted with reason telling him this was wrong. His hand twitched. His whole body was burning up. Just then, something wet touched his earlobe.
"You do need a different kind of advice..."
A stinging pain shot through his ear.
"Hey, what are you doing...!"
Cha Eui-jae tried to pull his neck away, but the hand gripping the back of his neck kept him from moving. It felt like he was trapped in a fiery prison called Lee Sa-young. A low chuckle echoed near him. Lick, a tongue swept across his ear. Cha Eui-jae barely stifled a scream.
"How was it?"
"W-what?"
"My performance."
"What?"
Cha Eui-jae's eyes shot wide open as he jerked his body back. It was surprisingly easy to lean away. Only then did Lee Sa-young's face come into view. The tear-stained, twisted expression was gone, replaced with a sly smirk tugging at his lips. The redness around his eyes had disappeared as well.
Lee Sa-young stuck out his black tongue.
"Gotcha."
Ah, damn it.
Cha Eui-jae clenched his teeth and pushed the body wrapped around him away.
"Screw off!"
"Why so upset, Hyung?"
The arm that had loosened around his waist quickly tightened again. A firm thigh pressed between his legs. With natural ease, Lee Sa-young lifted Cha Eui-jae slightly, pressing his lips to the jawline of his mask.
"After such a fiery confession."