The Forgotten Field

Talia willingly let go of the thread of consciousness.

But she never awoke in a world of peace.

Feeling a warm damp towel gently wiping her face and the back of her neck, Talia stirred from a shallow sleep and blankly looked up at the man who appeared no more than a hazy shadow.

He carefully pulled her nightgown down to her waist before slowly wiping along her back with the warm cloth.

Suddenly, it occurred to her that perhaps this was not the first time he had washed her like this.

Varkas's hands were simply too practiced.

Realizing she had awakened, he stopped moving and looked down at her face.

Then, seeing no sign of resistance from her, he removed her linen tunic all the way down past her legs and carefully cleaned every inch of her sweat-soaked body.

Despite having spent her entire life desperately trying to keep her flawed body hidden from others, Talia felt nothing at all.

She merely stared at him blankly, unable to understand why he insisted on going through such troublesome efforts.

After dressing her in clean clothes in place of the soiled nightgown, he carefully poured herbal medicine between her lips.

Talia simply allowed him to do whatever he wished.

She found it somewhat bothersome.

But refusing him or pushing him away seemed even more troublesome.

Perhaps realizing how exhausted she was, he never demanded any response from her.

He simply held her quietly, giving her water and medicine from time to time.

Occasionally, he summoned a priest to cast healing magic upon her.

Talia merely lay there, waiting for all of those tiresome things to pass.

She had no idea how much time went by.

While drifting somewhere between consciousness and sleep, someone came to the room asking to speak with Varkas.

She thought the voice sounded familiar.

Yet she could not remember whose voice it belonged to.

The man slowly rose from the bedside and spoke quietly with the visitor at the doorway.

She watched his broad back, silhouetted against the light, for a short while before losing all interest and closing her eyes again.

"I'll be back soon."

Just as she was about to sink into sleep once more, Varkas returned to the bedside, bent over her, and spoke softly.

Talia did not answer.

After quietly watching her for a moment, he picked up his coat and left the room.

Almost immediately afterward, three or four women entered.

Apparently, he had summoned people to care for her.

One of them approached the bed and spoke gently.

But Talia could not understand a single word.

It felt as though she were surrounded by a thick, cloudy veil.

She stared for a moment at the ghostlike figure beyond that pale, invisible barrier.

Then, as though even that required too much effort, she turned away.

Obsessively, she chased after sleep once more.

This time, however, she could not sleep for very long.

Opening her eyes with a clearer mind than before, Talia slowly surveyed the room, now submerged in darkness.

Two young maids were dozing beside the fireplace.

Marisen and her nanny sat beside the bed.

"Are you feeling more alert now?"

The healing mage, who had been preparing medicinal herbs, smiled with relief the moment she saw Talia's eyes open.

Talia struggled to part her dry lips.

"...What happened to my baby?"

Only after asking did she realize she had been swallowing those words over and over again.

Even while drifting in and out of consciousness, she had never been able to ask him.

Now she quietly waited for the answer.

A heavy trace of guilt appeared across the healer's face.

When the woman lowered her eyes without replying, the nanny, who had been sniffling beside the bed, spoke through trembling sobs.

"The stillborn child... was buried properly behind the chapel."

Talia looked at her with empty eyes.

The nanny ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) grasped her limp hand, hanging lifelessly like that of a dead bird, and continued haltingly,

"It was a boy. If only he had been born safely... I'm sure he would have been such a beautiful baby..."

Her shoulders shaking with sobs, the nanny wiped away her tears before forcing a comforting smile.

"But please don't grieve too much. You're still young, Miss. I'm certain you'll have another beautiful baby someday."

At that moment, it felt as though someone had plunged a knife into Talia's chest.

She did not know why those words hurt her so deeply.

But she clearly felt the sharp agony of her heart being split apart.

Had half her senses not already died, she would have screamed in unbearable pain.

Her body trembling faintly, Talia slowly withdrew the hand the nanny was holding.

"...I want to be alone. Everyone... please leave."

"But His Grace specifically instructed us not to leave your side even for a moment..."

"Come."

Marisen abruptly pulled the nanny to her feet.

The older woman looked bewildered as she reluctantly stepped away from the bed.

The healer gently guided her toward the door before signaling the maids as well.

After hesitating briefly, the girls quietly followed them outside.

Holding the doorknob, the healer added softly,

"We'll be waiting in the room next door. If you need anything at all, simply ring the bell."

With those words, silence returned.

Burying her face beneath the cold blanket, Talia closed her eyes.

Yet her mind only became clearer.

Struggling to suppress the convulsive trembling running through her body, she suddenly remembered the sleeping herb she had prepared for emergencies and slowly sat up.

Staggering toward the shelf, she opened a cabinet.

Inside were numerous medicinal solutions and bundles of dried herbs.

Among them she found an incense stick made by grinding and compressing sleeping herbs.

She placed it into a small brazier no larger than a fist.

Tilting a candle toward it, she lit the tip and quietly waited for smoke to rise.

Soon, a bitter fragrance spread through the room.

Talia lowered herself onto the carpet and inhaled it deeply.

Before long, the tension stretched tight throughout her nerves gradually softened.

Her mind slowly drifted into a haze.

She welcomed the blurring world.

The world is far too sharp.

I wish everything would become as hazy as this smoke.

Leaning against the bed, she inhaled the acrid smoke even more deeply.

She had no idea how much time passed.

By the time the entire world had begun to twist and distort around her, she heard a strange sound somewhere nearby.

Slowly, Talia lifted her unfocused eyes.

Only the light from the fireplace and the candles flickered brightly throughout the room.

Yet the sound that had lingered only faintly beside her ears gradually became clearer.

She unsteadily rose to her feet and walked toward the rattling window.

A rain-soaked garden filled her vision.

Somewhere beyond the world dyed black by the storm...

Someone was weeping pitifully.

Standing motionless, she listened to the crying.

Then, as though something were drawing her forward, she turned and walked away.

Opening the door, she stepped into a silent corridor.

Far off in the darkness, she occasionally caught sight of guards standing watch.

Not wishing to meet them, she headed instead toward the narrow staircase on the opposite side.

She had no idea how she managed to descend those steep stairs.

Step after step...

She simply kept walking.

Before she knew it, she was standing in the castle's rear courtyard beneath the pouring rain.

Talia frowned in confusion.

As her mind gradually cleared, a faint question arose.

Why...

Why did I sneak out of my room like a thief?

She gazed blankly up at the black sky pouring down rain.

Then she heard the faint crying again.

Like a puppet pulled by invisible strings, Talia resumed her unsteady steps.

Cold mud clung heavily to her bare feet.

She stepped on something sharp.

Pain shot through the sole of her foot.

Yet her legs, no longer obeying her own will, continued onward without stopping.

She wandered aimlessly through the rain-soaked world, having no idea where she was going.

Eventually, she realized she had arrived before the chapel.

Blankly staring at the pale building, she slowly stepped through its dark entrance.

Passing through the empty sanctuary, she exited through the opposite door.

There she saw skeletal trees stripped bare, thorn bushes...

...and a tiny grave that had not even been granted a headstone.

She staggered toward it.

At last, the buzzing sound that had echoed endlessly inside her ears disappeared.

Blinking her stinging eyes, Talia looked down at the small mound of earth upon which several withering flowers had been placed.

Only then did she understand what had been calling to her all this time.

It was the sound of a baby crying.

Suddenly...

A faint laugh escaped her lips.

She did not know why she was laughing.

Holding her stomach as her shoulders trembled, Talia slowly collapsed to her knees before the icy mound of earth and gently felt its surface with trembling hands.

Hot drops continued falling onto the backs of her mud-covered hands.

No.

They were not raindrops.

Only when she noticed the world drowned beneath her tears did she realize...

She had not been laughing.

She had been crying.

A thick sob lodged in her throat like sticky mucus.

Clutching at her neck as though someone were strangling her, Talia finally vomited forth a grief-stricken cry, as though coughing up muddy water.

The despair she had postponed all this time came crashing down upon her all at once.

The world beyond the translucent barrier shattered into countless pieces and drove themselves into her frozen flesh.

She collapsed forward over the grave.

At that moment...

She heard footsteps splashing through the rain.

A dim silhouette appeared through her tear-blurred vision.

Talia slowly raised her empty eyes and looked toward the man standing in the rain.

Steam rose from the broad body wrapped in a soaked shirt.

His chest, rising and falling with heavy breaths, slowly drew nearer.

Then...

A pale hand reached toward her.

Talia knew that hand.

It was the hand that had saved her...

...and at the same time cast her into the abyss.

As though he were pointing a weapon at her, she instinctively recoiled.

The man, who had been approaching, stopped where he stood.

Ice-cold rain streamed over his deathly pale face.

Beyond the curtain of rain, she saw the eyes that had once shone as though they held a silver crown.

But now...

All she could see was a barren ruin.