The Forgotten Field

* * *

As winter deepened, her belly grew visibly larger.

What had once been a source of endless wonder and quiet pride soon turned into a disaster.

As the baby grew, so did the strain on her body.

Groaning as pain threatened to tear her waist apart, Talia carefully shifted her position.

No matter how she lay down, there was no escaping the pain.

"Would you like to turn onto your side? I'll massage your back."

Watching her struggle with sympathy, Marisen made the suggestion gently.

Talia nodded immediately.

She hated being touched by other people, but this was hardly the time to be picky.

"Could you lift your leg just a little? If I place a cushion between them, it should make you more comfortable."

"Like... this?"

As she raised one knee slightly, the woman slid a pillow into place.

Talia let out a long breath.

It did little for the pain in her lower back, but at least the numb tingling running down her leg seemed to ease somewhat.

"If anything hurts, please tell me."

Leaning over the bed, Marisen began pressing firmly along her waist with practiced precision.

Talia groaned softly and stretched out her aching leg.

Running her hands down it, Marisen carefully examined the tightened muscles before asking,

"How is the pain in your leg?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course it hurts horribly."

"If it's truly unbearable, shall I burn a little sleeping herb for you?"

Talia studied the woman's face in silence, faint lines appearing around her eyes.

Marisen's calm expression was filled with nothing but concern for her.

"...Would that hurt the baby?"

"The pregnancy has already reached a stable stage. It shouldn't cause any serious problems."

Talia lowered her gaze to her stomach, torn.

More than anything, she wanted even a brief escape from the pain.

But she was terrified that it might somehow harm the child.

While she was still hesitating, Tiuran, who had been tending the firewood before the fireplace, suddenly joined the conversation.

"It's best not to use medicine unless absolutely necessary. We still don't know exactly what effects sleeping herb may have on the fetus."

Marisen shot her an irritated look.

"Do you take me for someone who would prescribe something harmful to Her Highness? I've given pain medicine to pregnant women before, and never once has there been a problem."

"But there are always exceptional cases..."

"Enough."

Talia cut off their argument in a single word.

She had no patience for the subtle rivalry between the two women.

"Even if I use it, I'll just wake up hurting again. I'd rather endure it."

"But Your Highness can't even sleep because of the pain. If you collapse from exhaustion..."

"I said enough! If you're just going to nag me, then leave."

Rather roughly, Talia pushed Marisen's hands away before pulling the blanket over her head.

She didn't even have the energy to argue anymore.

Her swollen uterus pressed against the nerves in her already twisted pelvis, making the pain shooting through her legs almost unbearable.

Her calves cramped more frequently than ever.

The stabbing ache in her lower back only worsened with each passing day.

The thought that she still had to endure this until summer filled her with despair.

Talia gently pressed both hands against her rounded stomach.

The moment she felt the faint movement beneath her taut skin, all the resentment she had begun to feel toward the baby instantly melted away.

Still...

Once this child was born, she fully intended to complain.

You made me suffer so much.

But I endured all of it.

So you'd better listen to everything I say.

And you have to love me more than anyone else in the world.

Because I'll love you that much too.

She had been absentmindedly thinking such things when, before she knew it, she drifted off to sleep.

A gentle hand stroking her forehead made Talia slowly open her eyes.

Looking up, she found Varkas standing over her, his face shadowed.

She pushed herself upright drowsily.

"When did you get back?"

"I just finished my official duties. Lie back down."

"No. I've been lying down the whole time. My back hurts."

She brushed away the hand trying to ease her back onto the bed and leaned against the headboard with a cushion before leisurely looking him over.

Dressed in a reddish-brown doublet embroidered with the ornate patterns unique to the East and black leather boots, he looked every bit the dignified and elegant nobleman.

"Was there some sort of event?"

Talia eyed his unusually formal attire suspiciously.

Undoing the buttons of his doublet, Varkas answered calmly.

"I merely attended the Noble Alliance meeting."

"There's been a lot of meetings lately. Did something happen?"

"Nothing at all."

He paused before abruptly changing the subject.

"More importantly... why did you change rooms?"

There was unmistakable dissatisfaction in his voice.

Wrapping both arms around her knees, Talia lowered her eyes awkwardly.

"Because you can't sleep properly because of me. I thought it'd be better if we used separate rooms until the baby is born."

"Stop worrying about such pointless things."

Varkas answered rather sharply before leaning over the bed.

Realizing he intended to pick her up, Talia quickly retreated toward the corner.

"I prefer it this way."

His eyes narrowed.

Silently looking down at her, Varkas sat on the edge of the bed and replied in a cool voice.

"Weren't you the one who said everything became inconvenient if I wasn't beside you taking care of you?"

"That was then... It's different now."

"What's different?"

Talia looked at Varkas's strong, beautiful silhouette standing against the firelight before lowering her gaze to her own body beneath the thin nightgown.

Her breasts had swollen until they resembled those of a dairy cow.

Her stomach protruded like a toad's belly.

Her emaciated body had once looked pitiful enough.

But now this swollen body, stretched to its limit, disgusted her even more.

She was happy about the baby.

That was true.

But unlike Aila's effortless elegance or Senevier's sensual beauty, she found herself growing increasingly miserable every time she looked at herself.

Pulling the blanket higher around her shoulders, she answered irritably,

"It didn't hurt this much back then."

"That's all the more reason I should be beside you."

Frowning, Varkas reached toward her again.

Startled, Talia twisted away.

But before she could escape, his long arm wrapped around her back.

In an instant, she found herself lifted onto his lap.

Flustered, Talia hurriedly tugged the hem of her nightdress down to cover her legs.

Varkas, however, seemed interested only in her waist.

His broad hand gently massaged the muscles along her spine.

When he noticed the miserable expression on her face, he frowned.

"Does it hurt that much?"

Talia glared at him through tear-filled eyes.

He probably couldn't understand.

Couldn't understand how desperately she wanted to hide this ruined body from him.

She knew it was foolish.

She truly did.

But ever since she was nine years old...

She had wanted to look more beautiful than anyone else in the world in his eyes.

The fact that she no longer could was enough to fill her with despair.

"Yes."

"It hurts enough to make me wish I were dead."

Instead of confessing what truly weighed on her heart, Talia simply lashed out.

"It's so unfair. Why am I the only one who has to suffer like this? I wish you could hurt even half as much as I do."

"...Then shouldn't you be tormenting me from right beside me? Why are you trying to sleep in another room?"

Still rubbing her back, Varkas spoke as though gently coaxing her.

His soft voice almost melted her resolve.

Almost.

The moment his hand settled over her swollen stomach, she immediately drew up her knees and curled protectively around it.

"No."

"Don't touch me."

"Why not?"

For the first time, a sharp edge entered the face of the man who had been patiently indulging her all this time.

His patience finally seemed to be wearing thin.

Drawing in a slow breath, Varkas asked in a much lower voice,

"It's my child."

"Why won't you even let me touch them lately?"

"It's not your child."

The childish retort instantly turned his face cold.

A chill ran through her chest.

Even so, Talia continued as though nothing had happened.

"Until this baby comes into the world... this child belongs entirely to me. I'm the one enduring all this pain while carrying them. It's only fair that I have exclusive rights."

The utterly unreasonable argument carved an even deeper furrow between Varkas's brows.