The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 78: Chapter 78 Die with him

’I want to die. If he dies, I will die with him.’ This thought always seems to run through my mind day and night. A lot of mates have been separated through death. The one left alive could live through a strong will. But not me, I... I can’t do this anymore.

He sleeps as silent as a dead male, that I keep checking to see the rise and fall of his chest. Perhaps he dreams of vast fields and flowers, maybe even me and pups. But all I dream of is his dying eyes and his soul saying it’s last goodbye.

More months have passed and Deimos hasn’t woken up. At this point, wolves are losing faith, the halls filled with their never-ending chatter of his coming death. I try to remain strong as I walk past them, but for every word they say there’s a crack on my wall.

His health is deteriorating. They increased his medicine dose to induce him deeper into coma as well as added an oxygen mask in case he cannot breathe on his own anymore. For their every action I watched helplessly, my body trembling with fear.

Every wolf says they can understand me but no. No wolf can understand this fear. It’s a different kind of fear, one which kills both your mind and heart from within. It makes you bawl one night and laugh like a lunatic another day.

"Luna." Ragon calls out to me and I slowly turn to my right to look at him. His eyes are drowning with concern and pain. Perhaps he had been calling my name for a while. I didn’t even feel him come in.

I swallow slowly and look out the window again. The sun rises from its nest and I stare coldly. I feel no emotion towards it. "Another new day. Ragon?" I call his name.

He quickly kneels at my feet looking up at me in the chair I am sitting on. "Yes, Luna." He says engulfing my palms in his.

"E-Even though the sun pours its light illuminating everything, every single day. Why does it feel like I am still alone in the eerie darkness?" I ask him.

"Luna!" His voice increases with sound. "You are not for I am here with you. Elriam is with you. We are all here with you." He says.

"I want to die. W-With him. I don’t have the energy for this anymore." I say as a small cry escapes my lips.

"Please! Please!" He begs clutching on to me tighter. "Just a little more. You need to hold on a little more. You are our strength for without you, we will fall." He says tears held back. His shaky hand reaches up to my cheek wiping the stranded tears slowly.

I let out a painful breath watching the sun sit on its throne in the sky. "Another new day." I say and he nods.

"Yes, another new day. We can do this together. But you must eat, Luna. Please!" He pleads again. I understand him. I have changed a lot. I look so bad that I stopped looking at myself in the mirror early mornings. My cheeks have sunk, my hip bones are extremely visible and eyes are often swollen.

"I will." I say.

"You always say this." His tone reprimanding. A knock disturbs our conversation as Elriam enters with a trolley carrying breakfast.

"Good morning. Looks like she hasn’t slept again." Elriam whispers parking the trolley right next to Ragon and me.

She grabs two plates handing the first over to Ragon and placing the second upon my work desk in front of me. Ragon begins serving food for me first and they both take their shares. I watch quietly asking no question.

"We will eat together. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day." Elriam says and Ragon nods.

My eyes find my plate and quickly look away uninterested out the window. "I am not hungry." I say.

There is silence for a minute until Elriam asks Ragon, "I am starving but I won’t eat since Alpha isn’t. What about you?"

"Yeah me too. I trained hard last night but since this is the case so be it. I won’t eat as well." He says.

I don’t say anything but flinch slightly as Ragon’s stomach grumbles loudly startling me. Elriam tries to hold in a chuckle. "Let’s clear this up now shall we?" Ragon asks and Elriam stands up putting the food back on the trolley.

I watch through my peripheral vision and let out a loud deep sigh. I don’t want these two Betas to starve because of me. They work hard and need a lot of energy to burn. I raise my palm towards them. "Stop." I say.

They stop and watch me quietly. "What is it, Alpha?" Elriam questions as I drag my eyes from the window to face her.

"I shall eat." I say quickly moving closer to the desk. They both smile and begin serving once more.

They engage in a deep conversation which soon turns into a playful argument. "Excuse me. I have always been this handsome!" Ragon says folding his hands across his chest, nose lifted into the air.

"H-Handsome? Who? You? Goddess!" Elriam screams laughing from her belly. Ragon’s expression changes to one of surprise and embarrassment.

Elriam’s laugh calms my chest. It feels nice. "She is smiling!" Ragon exclaims as Elriam’s face snaps to mine.

I look between them frowning. Did I just smile? Me? I don’t remember smiling though. "You just smiled." Elriam chuckles as I look away from them my cheeks burning.

"She is blushing now. Wow!" Ragon says laughing as Elriam joins him.

The cold and silent room suddenly changed into one of warmth and laughter. I don’t know what I would do without these two. They are my shoulders to lean on. They painted the beginning of my dark day with bright striking light.

Walking towards the pack gates my eyes find Luigi standing with a file in hand reading through some papers as two other males are up on a ladder fixing the protection devices.

"Where is the other male who came with you last time?" I ask Luigi as his eyes find mine. He bows as his greeting.

"Marco? He has been assigned for some other work so I brought a substitute." He says as I nod and walk away letting them continue their task.

"Some other work? Such a pup." Elriam chuckles mocking Marco, the disgusting male who had the guts to lay his hands upon my skin.

"I made sure he wouldn’t return. I don’t want that kind of male to have a look at the females of Giovanni’s pack. I merely wanted to protect them." I say walking to the next location.

"Giovanni is returning and bringing the rogues alive as you requested." Elriam informs me as I halt in my steps.

My lips tilt up into a smile. A smile of a maniac consumed by the evilest thoughts. "I can’t wait." I reply, my mind showing pictures of their dead soulless eyes. The scene I will create shall be a masterpiece.

"What is next on the schedule?" I ask her. Once Giovanni returns I can spend every second laying with my male. My mind perhaps then shall rest in peace knowing I am with him.

"Inventory check. I have made a small checklist for you." She replies.

The hot sun begins to burn my skin and my neck feels extremely hot. I tie my hair up for my neck to breathe. "Give it to me." I ask her as she hands me the list.

I scan the list whilst itching the side of my neck. This has been happening to me constantly, my neck keeps itching. "Alpha!" Elriam’s loud voice startles me as I turn to look at her.

"What is it?" I question her frowning as she walks closer to me.

Grabbing my jaw in her palm she moves my face to the side baring my neck to her. "Your mark." Is all she says and my eyes widen.

Slapping my palm over my mark to feel it I slide my fingers across the itching flesh. It doesn’t hurt but it feels rough and the skin seems to be peeling. "How did I not notice this?" I ask myself in a whisper.

Elriam quickly grabs my wrist and guides me to the pack hospital. Her feet walk fast just as the thoughts running through my mind.

As she guides me into one of the empty rooms, the healer stands alone reading through some documents. As soon as she catches a whiff of my scent she places the papers on her desk and bows deeply.

"Check her mark." Is all Elriam says forcing me to sit on one of the beds.

The healer quickly walks towards me, her eyes scanning every inch of my mark as her fingers feel up the peeling flesh. Her eyes widen in understanding of what is happening.

"Your mark is rotting." She says getting straight to the point. I look away from her. Rotting? My mark is rotting? But why? "Do you feel discomfort or pain when I touch it?" She questions.

"No. It only itches." I say and she nods.

"How long has it been itching?" She asks.

"For about a month now." I reply as she heads towards the cabinet of medicines picking up some tubes in her hand.

"The pain will arrive, soon. Anytime now. I will give you something to help you pass out. You will not be able to bear it so as soon as it begins to burn inject this into your blood and you will sleep through the pain." She advises handing me the injection.

"Is this common? Why is her mark rotting?" Elriam questions, her face drawn down in a frown confused.

"This is common when..." The healer begins her answer but pauses when her eyes find mine.

Clenching my jaw whilst my palms clutch the sheet I look down at the floor. "Say it." I order preparing myself for her answer that I feel I might already know.

"When their mate is dying." The healer finishes and I shut my eyes close in response to her words.