The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 72: Chapter 72 Make my female happy

Blank. This seems to be the situation of my mind for the past few days. I can’t... no, I don’t want to think of anything. I get up every morning rushing before my male’s eyes find mine. I run on that treadmill like my life depends on it, I box like I will not see the daylight tomorrow.

Anything. Anything that will not allow me to think, as my mind always tends to possess useless dreams when I do. I have made the training of the females harder putting in all my focus and attention. I haven’t been to Giovanni’s house to see him or Gianna. I don’t wish to spend time with her for a while. She fuels my desire.

I wish to talk to Deimos again instead of ignoring his existence but fear consumes me. I don’t want him to read my thoughts as knowing him he definitely will since I will not speak. Every time my ears perk up to the sound of his voice coming towards me during the day I run. He often searches for me only to get negative responses. I have made myself a ghost.

At night before he arrives, I close my eyes shut pretending to be asleep. I level my breathing for realness, something I am good at as I learned to do so as a pup to escape the wretched hands of my family. I often feel his gaze on my body as he lies far from my side. Never touching, never speaking or shifting closer. A barrier I put up between us to protect myself. Perhaps it hurts him in the process but I need some time.

"Are you well, Alpha?" Elriam questions her eyes drowning with worry.

"Yes." Is all I answer her.

"You look quite pale?" She asks me again.

"Just a lot of work to do." I reassure her with a soft smile. My eyes once again landing on the pups in front of me playing ball. Their laughter is like music to my ears. Then I watch their mothers as their pups run into their arms. Ah what a sight to see, all of them in their bubble of happiness. I bite my lip and look away. I need to exercise again.

"Right. Why don’t you do that first and get back to me?" My ears pick up Deimos’s voice approaching us. My eyes widen, I need to run. I need to get away. My eyes search eagerly for a way out as Elriam looks at me frowning. Finding a small clearing into the woods from where I stand my feet takes me there.

"Alpha!" Elriam shouts her voice laced with concern. I run without looking back, just a little more and I will be safe from his prodding eyes.

She takes the attention of Deimos quickly and gives away my location. "Lumina!" He screams. He is filled with rage. He doesn’t like me running away from him. I always seem to anger him. I don’t mean to. I just do.

I feel him quickly catching up to me. His feet pounding upon the grass floor but as I dodge his hands that wish to grab me, I add fuel to his anger.

"Deimos. Leave me be!" I scream pleading him to just leave me alone. If he catches me I cannot help myself. I will pour out my feelings uncontrollably. A loud growl vibrates through me the waves of its force making the birds flee the trees. The sound of two feet turns into four and I know his wolf is out.

I urge my wolf to take over but she stands still not moving silently watching the scene unfold in front of her. She has made this my fight. His wolf is faster, soft snarls grumbling from deep within his chest. He doesn’t run behind me anymore but at my side soon taking over running ahead of me.

My eyes widen when he flies past trees sliding in front of my path sprinting once more but towards me. I stop dead in my tracks as his paws pound the earth with force, eager to get to me. His eyes are set on me daring me to not move another inch. I cannot run from him anymore. He has caught me.

He pounces on me as if I were his prey, my back landing harshly upon the forest ground. I flinch to the force I was thrown back in. He roars on my face, lips pulled back fangs glinting from the sunlight. I lie still not moving just staring at him as he portrays his anger. His eyes hold a promise that he will not hurt me rather show his disapproval of my actions.

After a while of his small tantrum, he finally lifts his paws off my shoulders and I get up into a sitting position staring at the ground. His wolf circles me often coming in for a sniff of my neck, a lick, or a soft bite of my wrist. My scent calming this Alpha male.

"Do... do you at least want pups?" I break the silence fisting the mud into my palms. His wolf stops his circling and drops down, sitting in front of me on his hind legs. "Do you want a family with me?" I ask him again never meeting his eyes. I feel him near me slowly crawling infiltrating my protected space.

"I-I thought about it for so long. I wonder if I will be a good mother? I think you will be an amazing father." I say, my lips wobbling. Tears seeping to the front wanting their release. His wolf lets out a soft whine dropping his head on my lap looking up at me.

"I never had a loving family. I don’t even know the meaning of family but I want to feel it. That warmth. I want to feel it with no other but you. O-Or do you still find me unworthy to have this with you?" I ask him my last question, pouring out my insecurities sobbing as I cover my eyes with my dirty palms’ tears streaming down my face. His wolf whines softly sniffing and licking my face whilst nudging me with his snout pressing his cheek to mine.

I weep and whimper, my heart open on display for him. Something I tried hard to bury the past few days rising from the dead to show itself. I can never hide from him. I flinch when I feel the warmth of two hands clutching mine removing my palms from my face.

I don’t look up at him as slight hiccups take over. "Don’t weep, my female, it pains me." He says softly bringing me into his arms. "Don’t run from me, it kills me. Don’t hide your thoughts from me, I want to see what you cannot tell." He whispers softly.

His thumbs gently wipe the stranded tears away, his fingers lifting my jaw for our eyes to meet. He tilts his head to the side looking down at me gently.

"I am sorry." I whisper. A natural instinct. He frowns.

"Don’t apologize to me. Why do so? None of this is your fault. I bear it all. I... I am sorry, my female. For putting you through all this." He says his eyes filled with distress.

"I just needed to not think and be free for a while. I didn’t even think about how you would have felt. I-" I begin expressing my thoughts as he puts a finger to my lips.

"Hush now. You asked me if I still find you unworthy? No. You are worth everything in this world. All pleasures and riches... even my life. Forgive me for I often fail to provide you with what you desire the most, mate." He whispers holding my hands in his.

I shake my head quickly grabbing his neck pulling him onto me. Forgiveness and understanding comes easy between us for that is what being in love means. My lips on his mark, nose sniffing his scent. Mind open without barriers. We stay like this for a while basking in the warmth of the other. Even if it was for a few days without his scent and touch, I missed him with all my heart. This is how much he means to me.

Deimos shifts away from me. "How about we go out for the day? Enjoy Italy a bit. Would you like that? Hmm?" He asks softly, eyes gentle as he puts a strand of my hair behind my ear.

My eyes light up and excitement fills me as I eagerly nod. We haven’t had the time to go sightseeing since we were busy with our duties. But I would love to have a day off to spend time with him. Something we haven’t had for a while. Time.

A soft chuckle leaves his lips as he watches my reaction. "Very well. I shall speak to Giovanni though he has absolutely no power over my words." He smirks getting up giving his hand for me to take.

"Deimos!" I playfully swat him for his words as I get up and we begin to walk back.

"What, my female? I am the Alpha of Alpha’s after all." He whispers in my ear and I blush. His chuckle envelopes me once more and we walk back to the pack grounds hand in hand as my male makes me laugh with his jokes.

Heading back inside I take a quick shower and change into the extra pair of clothes I often bring from home. Sightseeing in Italy. The day has finally arrived for me to get a sight of this beautiful country. I get to spend the entire day with Deimos as well. Excitement fills my nerves.

As soon as I head back down towards the gates, Deimos is already waiting for me. Dressed in casual wear with a black shirt and baby blue jeans. I can feel his gaze beneath those shades over his eyes. He greets me with a warm smile. "Come." He says opening his palm to me.

I put mine in his and he guides me to a sleek white car. The driver opens our doors and I quickly get in the passenger seat buckling up as Deimos starts the engine. "I will do my best to make this day special for you, mate." He says driving us away from Giovanni’s pack.