The Female Alpha You Can't Tame

Chapter 40: Chapter 40 Forgiveness

Lies. How do you believe in a person who spouted lies? Who betrayed you? How do you trust them again? How do you turn your accusations back into innocence? The answer is you don’t do anything, they earn it. If they wish for your forgiveness and trust it’s their duty to do everything in their power to earn it.

As daylight streams through the windows, my eyes flutter open. Stretching my limbs my mind takes me to Deimos’s confession last night yet no smile comes to my face. I do not wish to be neither fazed nor swayed by his words again. But my heart is not weary nor painful anymore. He calmed my storm.

Glancing out the window my eyes widen when they crash with Deimos. The sun embraces his body as beads of sweat slide down his sculpted chest. His arms pulled behind his head bulge to his stretches while he circles his head softly. As his eyes find mine, he stares deep into me. His eyes slowly travel from my eyes to my lips and down to my chest. His eyes remain filling up with hunger as they take in my breasts covered by a transparent night gown.

The heat of his gaze begins to boil in my chest making its way down to my stomach and finally my core. Clenching my thighs, I move closer to the fan by my side to cool my hot body. No matter how many fights or misunderstandings we have, we will always be seduced by the bond we possess. We will always want to devourer the other.

I watch as Cronus walks to Deimos and puts his hand over his shoulder sparking a conversation. He seems happy as he casually pushes him while teasing him. Is this how they were in the past? Close friends?

Deimos does not remove his eyes off me making Cronus frown and stop mid conversation. Cronus turns towards my direction and his eyes sparks up while his lips lift in a friendly smile. Cronus waves to me as I smile and wave back only to flinch by the sound of Deimos’s loud growl. Deimos points to his chest furiously as I wonder what he is telling me.

Deimos grows irritated as he points at me and then his chest sharply. Frowning I look at my chest and my eyes widen. I immediately drop to the floor and crawl towards the bathroom blushing to the sound of Cronus’s loud laughter and Deimos’s possessive snarl. I completely forgot my breasts were slightly exposed and that I was showing them off to both Deimos and Cronus.

After a cold shower, I stride towards the field where I saw the males. Frowning my eyes search for them. Weren’t they just here? Did they go for a run?

"Cronus?" I call out to him walking towards the garden.

A scream escapes my mouth when I am pulled harshly to the side. My back softly collides with the wall and a large hand clamps down my mouth.

Deimos puts a finger to his lips quietening me down as I snarl at him. His lips tilt up slightly, mocking me.

"You scared me!" I whisper harshly as he tilts his head to the side.

"Tell me mate, do you wish for others to see your body?" He asks me in a serious tone to which I frown.

"Of course not." I reply softly.

"Then why is it that I must always warn you of your clothing when you are in the presence of others?" He questions me.

"I forget. When I was in my old pack, I was mostly alone so being appropriate didn’t matter. I am still getting used to being surrounded by wolves all the time." I tell him to which he nods.

"Perhaps I must sleep with you during nights so I can-" Deimos begins coming up with his idea and I waste no time in cutting him off.

"That won’t be necessary. I will remember next time." I tell him seriously as he frowns. As I begin to walk away from him, he grabs my elbow stopping me.

"You still haven’t forgiven me. Why?" He questions me as a sarcastic laugh escapes my lips.

"Because you haven’t earned it." I tell him my head held high.

"What? I told you the reason as well as my real feelings. What more do I have to do?" He asks me.

"I appreciate your truth, my male. But my trust in you is lost. I will never believe your words unless you prove to me. Prove that I can trust you again!" I tell him, my voice strong.

My words seem to anger and frustrate Deimos as his grip on my elbow hardens. "But you will return with me, yes?" Deimos asks, his eyes hold uncertainty.

"No." One word from my mouth and a deep furious growl rumbles from deep within his chest as he slams me upon the granite wall.

"Do not defy me, mate." He snarls, nose flaring. Fangs elongate and his nose flares. His hand upon my body shakes as he tries to reign in his anger.

"I never said I would return, Deimos. I only accepted your truth. I chose to listen and that is all I can do from my part. What have you done? Nothing except spout lies." I strike him with my words as he snarls and growls. The Alpha part of him defies the truth. Some part of him still believes what he did wasn’t wrong.

"I opened up to you! I told you everything!" He screams as I watch him calmly. His eyes turn black showing me the presence of his wolf. My king is watching us.

"That’s exactly what I told you when I confronted you about your lies. Do you feel it Deimos? The betrayal? The fire raging in the pit of your stomach? This is how I felt that day I found out." I whisper looking deep into his eyes.

Deimos bangs his fist upon the wall to my right making me flinch. His claws scrape against the granite as I look away. He closes his eyes taking a deep breath trying to calm down. As silence embraces us Deimos slowly opens his eyes looking deep into mine. We both stares controlling the pouring of any more words between us. Deimos runs his hand through the strands of his hair frustrated as he looks away.

"Deimos I-." I begin to try to reduce the tension between us but with one final look at me Deimos walks away from me. He doesn’t understand. He never understands! He always makes me feel it’s my fault!

Tears that I had been controlling flow free as my back slides down the wall. Clutching my knees to my chest I cry softly. Why is it that my mate and I can never seem to have a conversation without hurting the other? Why is it that we cannot be happy? Why can’t we just be normal? Why? Why? Why? As these thoughts envelope my mind I begin to sob.

I sit in the garden until the sun sets and I watch its beauty with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes. I watch quietly as the breathtaking scene embraces me softly consoling my painful heart. It finally sparks a smile upon my face. I smile as orange and red collide in the sky pouring its warmth upon me.

The smell of freshly cooked food calls out to me as I get up, dust my hands and pants and walk back into the house. My mouth salivates as my stomach grumbles and I follow the scent preparing myself to fill my belly.

Heading into Cronus’s kitchen I see Cronus with his back towards me. He hums a sweet melody as his hands are busy cooking. The apron he is wearing sparks a laugh out of me as he stops and looks behind with frightened eyes.

"You scared me, Luna." He says putting his hand on top of his chest feigning fear.

"Nice Barbie apron you got on. Suits you quite well." I say holding in my laughter pretending to be serious.

"Hilarious. I am glad it is you who is seeing me right now. Nobody wants to see their Alpha wearing a Barbie apron. I’ll lose my title." He says sarcastically with a chuckle.

Sitting on the counter I watch Cronus quietly as he cooks analyzing his every move. Perhaps he has cooked a lot before, he seems skilled and quite good at it. My eyes close as my ears listen to the soft humming of Cronus. He brings peace. My friend.

The sound of plates being placed makes me open my eyes and look at the counter top while the smell of food wafts into my nose. Cronus stands at the other side with his hands on his hips with a smile on his face.

"Try it." He says softly with a smile.

As I begin to eat, my mouth savoring the delicious taste. My lips begin to quiver and tears stream down my face as I eat.

"Luna. What’s wrong?" Cronus walks around to my side around the counter putting his hand on my shoulder softly.

"Deimos... I... We-" I cannot seem to speak as I cry into Cronus’s chest. He softly consoles me patting my back. No matter what I cannot pretend to be happy. My relationship with Deimos always seems to come back and strike its arrows deep within my chest.

"Luna. Deimos left hours ago." Cronus whispers as I look up at him sniffing.