Chapter 169: Chapter 144: I Poked Xiong Ba Away
The Northeast has always had its "Eight Oddities."
But in another seven or eight years, Yong’an Village would have its "Four Wonders."
Zhao Jun’s gun, Li Baoyu’s legs, Zhang Yuanmin’s brain, and Li Ruhai’s mouth.
Able to make a 16-gauge break-action shotgun feel like a semi-automatic, Zhao Jun’s marksmanship was first among the Four Wonders.
Li Baoyu’s legs were on the list because he was fast. When his long legs got going, a Black Bear couldn’t catch him in a dead sprint over a dozen meters.
As for his own brother, Li Ruhai, his mouth had no positive connotations whatsoever.
Sayings like "that mouth is looser than a gossipy old woman’s" or "looser than the waistband of cotton pants" weren’t even adequate to describe Li Ruhai’s mouth.
Just how bad was that mouth of his?
It was so bad that his own wife wouldn’t dare tell him anything important.
The final Wonder was Zhang Yuanmin’s brain.
To be precise, it was the ideas inside his brain.
If you were to sum it up in four words, it would be: wild and utterly unpredictable.
In those days, the lives of mountain folk were simple, and so were their thoughts. Even when they played tricks on each other, they kept it straightforward.
The sole exception was Zhang Yuanmin.
The guy always claimed to be resourceful and clever, and when his ideas were "divine," they truly were.
But when his ideas turned "demonic," they were more than just a little trouble.
That’s why, a few years later, he would earn a nickname: Zhang the Big Dumbass.
Today, in front of this rocky Earth Granary, Zhang Yuanmin poked a four-meter-long pole into the stone den. When the pole was about two meters in, he felt it hit something.
Zhang Yuanmin pushed the pole in further. Through it, he could feel something soft and warm inside.
He had prodded the big brown bear.
Zhang Yuanmin gave it two more prods. The hibernating brown bear, roused from its sleep, groggily opened its eyes, grabbed the pole with one paw, and yanked it into the den.
For some reason, a competitive streak flared up inside Zhang Yuanmin.
He had been holding the pole casually with one hand, but the moment he felt challenged, he gripped it with two. Planting his feet together, he leaned his entire upper body and head back, using all his strength to start a tug-of-war with the big brown bear.
The big brown bear was not good-tempered either. With a single pull of its arm, it sent Zhang Yuanmin stumbling forward.
"Aiyo, fuck!" A fire ignited in Zhang Yuanmin’s heart. He casually straightened the dog-skin hat on his head, gripped the pole with both hands, raised his right foot, and braced it against the nearby Big Stone Cliff, pulling on the pole with all his might.
Suddenly, immense force traveled up the pole. Even with his foot braced against the Big Stone Cliff, it was no use.
Though he was on his feet, he was dragged sliding toward the stone den.
Even so, the man refused to let go, still struggling.
But just then, Zhang Yuanmin heard Chen Dalai’s voice from behind. The sound instantly sobered him up. He quickly let go of the pole and turned to run.
"Where are you running?" Seeing him rush past and continue into the distance, Chen Dalai grew anxious and roared, "Get back here!"
According to their plan, they had placed charges of dynamite and detonators in the crevices around the Earth Granary, leaving a fuse of over a meter long. As soon as the brown bear had most of its body out, they were to light the fuse immediately.
By the time the fuse burned down, the big brown bear’s lower half would be exposed, and the ample explosives would be enough to blow both its legs off.
That way, no matter how big this Xiong Ba was, wouldn’t it be at Chen Dalai’s mercy for a finishing shot?
The dynamite, detonators, and fuse were all in place. All that was left was to lure the big brown bear out of the stone den.
But now Zhang Yuanmin was running away. How could this be happening?
He wasn’t just responsible for rousing the bear; lighting the fuse was his job too.
"Aiya!" Hearing Chen Dalai yell for him, Zhang Yuanmin snapped back to his senses and quickly turned around to run back.
Zhang Yuanmin ran behind the same Big Stone Cliff he had braced his foot against earlier, hid his body behind it, and casually pulled a box of matches from his pocket.
The end of the fuse was right at his feet.
Looking over at Chen Dalai, he was already more than ten meters away, waiting in position.
The two of them stared nervously at the stone den. After waiting for more than three minutes, there was still no sign of the brown bear.
The pole Zhang Yuanmin had poked in earlier was still sticking out of the stone cave, over a meter of it visible.
Zhang Yuanmin looked back at Chen Dalai, who waved him over. He quickly scurried over to Chen Dalai on his short legs.
"What’s up?" Zhang Yuanmin asked.
Chen Dalai said, "Probably didn’t wake it up properly. Try poking it again."
Bears are not naturally fond of fighting or brawling, especially when hibernating in their dens. Unless you really pissed it off, it wouldn’t come out easily.
Zhang Yuanmin thought for a moment, then said to Chen Dalai, "Hand me the Invasion Blade."
Chen Dalai didn’t know what kind of idea the guy had cooked up this time, but he still pulled the Invasion Blade from the back of his waistband and handed it to Zhang Yuanmin.
Holding the Invasion Blade, Zhang Yuanmin went and cut down a small tree nearby, trimmed off the excess branches, and mounted the blade on the end. As he walked past Chen Dalai, he said, "I’m gonna stab it. Let’s see if it comes out then."
"I..." Before Chen Dalai could finish, he saw Zhang Yuanmin striding forward. The words on the tip of his tongue changed to: "Stab it once and run, quick!"
"Stop dawdling." Zhang Yuanmin seemed to have forgotten his earlier foolishness. Without looking back, he said, "Just you watch me."
The moment Zhang Yuanmin said this, Chen Dalai’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he had a bad feeling.
Zhang Yuanmin wasn’t a complete idiot. He went behind the Big Stone Cliff where the end of the fuse lay, a spot about a meter away from the stone den.
Hiding behind the Big Stone Cliff, Zhang Yuanmin held the speared Invasion Blade and extended it into the stone den.
The pole he had cut this time was just over three meters long, but when about two meters of it was inside, he didn’t feel the blade touch anything.
Zhang Yuanmin cautiously emerged from behind the Big Stone Cliff. As he walked forward, he pushed the Invasion Blade deeper into the cave.
But when less than half a meter of the three-meter-long pole remained in his hands, he suddenly froze.
’Where did the Big Bear Dominator go?’
At this thought, he quickly pulled out the Invasion Blade, grabbed the other pole that he had inserted into the den first, and pushed the part that was sticking out deeper inside.
This pole was over four meters long. When nearly four meters of it was inside, he could feel the tip hit stone.
It had reached the back.
’But where’s the Big Bear Dominator?’
Zhang Yuanmin gripped the pole with both hands and moved his arms in circles, stirring it around inside the stone den.
But no matter where it touched, it only met hard, solid rock.
"This is bad!" Zhang Yuanmin exclaimed in alarm.
His shout gave Chen Dalai a fright, who quickly asked, "What’s wrong?"
Gripping the pole, Zhang Yuanmin turned and shouted back, "I poked the Xiong Ba so hard it disappeared!"
Hearing this, a curse flew from Chen Dalai’s mouth.
"Son of a bitch!"
