Chapter 198: I wish I could
>>Aelin
My sword was still poised over his chest, the tip just above where I could end it.
He looked at me for a long moment, then chuckled faintly, a dry, broken sound. "You know... no matter how strong your mind is... no matter how solid your convictions are..." He coughed hard, grimacing. "...you lose yourself eventually."
His gaze wasn’t on me anymore, it was somewhere else entirely. Distant. Heavy.
"I’ve seen it happen too many times," he murmured. "People I thought were unshakable... people who swore they’d never give in." His eyes narrowed faintly as if replaying ghosts. "The Abyss doesn’t always take you in one blow, it eats you piece by piece. You don’t even notice it’s gone until you reach for it and realize there’s nothing left."
His lips twisted into a bitter smile. "The spider-nun woman, the one you lot fought in the demon palace... she was one of the strongest I’d ever met. Sharp mind. Unyielding. She fought for years, and I thought... maybe she could beat it." His breathing grew rougher, slower. "But then one day... she started to believe she was holy. Dressed herself in a nun’s habit. Called those... twisted Abyss spawn her children."
I stayed still, my chest tightening as his voice softened.
"People lose their minds in different ways. That’s the cruel part," Rael said. "She truly believed she was doing good. That’s what the Abyss does, it makes the sickness feel like salvation. And by the time you realize what’s happened... you’re already gone."
The rain dotted his face, dripping from his jaw. His eyes, red like mine, blinked slowly. "That’s what happened to her. That’s what’s going to happen to me. I can feel it. I can feel myself losing my mind."
The rain began to fall again, soft, cool drops sliding over my face, streaking the red from my eyes.
Rael lay in the mud before me, black blood seeping from the deep wound I’d dealt him, each breath shallower than the last.
For a moment, I thought he might look at me again, try to twist his words into something sharp. But he didn’t. He just lay there, speaking like a man who was already half-dead,
And for the first time since I was young... he looked small. Not weak. Just... empty. Yet he looked at me with the same tenderness he once did.
"Ariston," He called me by my name, "That is why, I need you to kill me now."
***
>>King Orin
"What do you mean the monsters are here!?" I panicked, "Isn’t the eye pointing at the demon kingdom!?"
"Sire, the monsters are going in all directions!" My advisor said, "They’ve already begun to attack the towns! And we’re next."
"What are the mages doing!?" I yelled, "And where’s Reagen!?"
"Sire," The advisor looked panicked, "The crown prince went to the demon kingdom a little while ago."
"What!?" I looked at Killian, "Why is your brother there?!"
Killian shrugged, "Maybe he went to kill the demons?"
"What nonsense are you spewing?" I barked, "Wait!" He looked at his advisors again, "Can we get Aelin to help?" Right! She can fight these monsters off easily, "Get in contact with her, send a mage, ask her to come here."
"Why do you want her here now?" Killian said, "You never wanted her here before."
"Keep your mouth shut Killian, all of you kids always get on my nerves." I massaged my temples, "You talk like you have something against your family, Raya keeps getting on my nerves by dissolving every single engagement I get her into and Reagen is never home for some reason!"
"Father," Killian remained calm, "Did you know Reagen had been drinking the black milk?"
!?!?
There was a pause when he said that. The court went wide. Then I shot my head towards him.
"What?!" I was baffled
"He was introduced to a cult by your advisor,"
"Young prince!" We all looked at his advisors, "Those are very dangerous accusations." One of the advisors said. A really close aide of mine.
Killian didn’t seem bothered, he turned and looked at me, "I have some evidence I would like to show you," He stepped back, "After we make sure we survive this monster wave."
***
>>Aelin
I rose slowly from my chair, Asha’s warmth still lingering in my arms. Tala’s question echoed in my mind, deep and heavy, like it was trying to take root somewhere I wasn’t ready to let it.
Stay here... in the Spirit Realm... with Asha... forever.
The thought was a temptation so sweet it was almost poisonous. I took a step back, my eyes unfocused, lost somewhere in the possibilities. The air felt thicker, every breath weighted with his words.
Then, small hands clung tightly to my legs.
I looked down. Asha was hugging me, her little fingers curled into the fabric of my clothes as if she was afraid I’d disappear.
"Asha..." I breathed, running a hand through her hair.
As I straightened again, something slipped free from my hair and clinked softly against the floor.
I frowned, glancing down.
It was silver, catching the light, a gleam of memory made real. I bent down, my fingers trembling as they closed around it.
The mithril wingpin.
The one Draegon had given me.
The moment my skin touched the cool metal, my chest tightened so hard it hurt. In an instant, I was back in that memory, his hands when he presented the gift to me, his voice, his steady gaze. The man who had stood by me. The man who changed me, the very person who chose to give me importance and in result also gave me confidence. The man who was still out there, fighting now.
A surge of heat filled my throat, not the warmth from before, but something sharper. I could see Reagen’s face in my mind, the destruction he would bring if I stayed here. The screams. The burning. The innocent people who had no one else to protect them.
I couldn’t.
I wouldn’t.
My hand tightened around the wingpin until it dug into my palm. I looked at Asha, my heart aching.
She smiled up at me with those violet eyes. "I want Mama to help Daddy too."
My breath caught.
I crouched down, cupping her cheek. "I will, love. I promise."
Then I rose and faced Tala. "I wish I could... God, I wish I could. But I can’t."
His gaze was steady, but there was a faint curve to his lips. A knowing smile. "That is the right choice to make."
I barely had time to wonder at the meaning of his tone before,
Without warning, Tala stepped forward and plunged his hand straight into the center of my chest.
!?!?!
A sharp cry tore from my throat as my entire body seized. It felt wrong, impossible, like the air itself had been yanked out of me. My eyes flew wide, shock and panic flooding every nerve.
The world shifted.
In the next breath, I was no longer alone with him.
Dozens, dozens, of Solwyn people stood around me, their forms materializing like sunlight piercing through mist.
"Wha-what is-?!" My voice caught as panic spiked in my chest.
They moved quickly, placing their hands on each other’s shoulders, forming an unbroken line that connected every one of them... all the way to Tala.
