Chapter 90: Weak Woman
Vivian’s POV
"Ryan, it’s been fun. But this entire thing is just not doing it for me anymore. Let us end it all here. No hard feelings, ok?"
That was how the woman that Vivian wanted to be would have spoken to Ryan Terrell upon seeing him again.
But as she walked into Ryan’s penthouse and right into his waiting arms, accepting a hug from him.Vivian was reminded very harshly that she was not that woman.
The woman that she aspired to be would not have come running the moment that Ryan had announced his arrival. And she most definitely would not have welcomed any contact from him. But that strong woman was not in Vivian at all.
She was just an imperfect soul desperate for someone to treat her kindly.
"Have you eaten? If you want, I can warm up some food that the chef left behind so that we can eat before heading to the bedroom," She was torn between kissing him, and slapping him. Why was he still so considerate despite being so two-faced?
"No, thank you. I am hungry for something more," Vivian told him with a smile. But on the inside, her heart was hurting so bad she wanted to just clutch her chest and curl up on the floor.
"Alright, if that is what you’d rather do, let’s go then," Ryan said, holding out a hand for her and Vivian slid her own into it.
Internally she was cursing him.
Why did he have to be so nice? She already knew about the other woman. Why couldn’t he have other faults too, flaws in his character that she could use to find the strength to leave him?
Unable to answer that question, all that Vivian could do was follow as Ryan led her to the bedroom, their contact going from being something platonic to not at all. The two of them kissing as they began removing each other’s clothes. Their progress to the bedroom was slowed down significantly as a result of that.
It was unfair how quickly the part of Vivian desperate for affection took over the moment that she felt Ryan’s touch, but she could not help it.
What did it matter that he was using her?
He was so attentive that Vivian almost did not care that she was just a side piece to him. That she was someone to have fun with before going back to the flawless woman who fit in his world.
What did it matter that he’d not seen it as important to let her know about Gwendolyn.
In the quiet of the night, after just returning from a business trip, Ryan had not chosen to be with that woman.
He had chosen Vivian.
He was holding her and only her that night. He called her gorgeous as he spread her legs. When he thrust into her, he called her beautiful.
And when he came shuddering and shaking, he collapsed against her. His lips murmuring sweet nothings against her skin and that was enough. He had chosen her for the night and that had to be enough.
Clinging to that little bit of affection, Vivian righted her mind. From the very beginning, Ryan had been honest with her. What they had was an arrangement, no feelings involved.
But because he also happened to be nice to her. She had forgotten that, but now that the perfect Gwendolyn Stuart the fourth, had put her back in her place, she would be making sure not to forget that.
She and Ryan were nothing serious.
It was just sex, only sex.
That was all that Vivian was good for in his eyes. She kept repeating that to herself over and over as they cuddled.
***
Vivian should have left as soon as they were done having sex.
But, ever greedy, despite knowing exactly how Ryan saw her, she had stayed, prolonging the cuddle, hoping for a few more rounds.
Now that was proving to be her downfall.
Running his hands gently over her, Ryan cupped her breasts, and then began tracing circles around the mounds with the tips of his fingers.
"I tried calling you many times while I was away. Why didn’t you answer?"
Vivian’s breath stalled in her chest. ’How could I answer knowing that you were probably playing with me? That you were most likely with your real woman, while still trying to play pretend with me,’
She did not say any of that though.
"My phone died and I had to get it fixed. That is why I was not able to keep in touch,"
Ryan’s hand stalled and he looked at her. Those blue eyes seeming as though they were trying to gaze directly into her soul.
"Once the phone was fixed, did you get my messages?" Moving her head in a jerky motion that she hoped did not look as painful as it felt. Vivian did her best to smile.
"I did," And I listened to each and everyone more than once actually, but Ryan did not need to know that.
"Thank you for sending them to me," It was an odd thing to say and she knew it. Before Ryan could question her on it, Vivian was pushing herself out of his arms and getting to her feet.
Unlike all of the other times where she had gotten confident being around him. She did not stay naked for long, grabbing a sheet off the bed, she pulled it around herself.
"I am going to shower and go. I have something important to do first thing in the morning,"
Ryan’s face said he did not believe her, but he blinked and the expression was gone, much to Vivian’s relief. "Can I join you in the shower then? Maybe help soap up your back?"
Knowing exactly what he meant by that, Vivian wanted to say yes so badly. But then she reminded herself that it was best to start putting up walls.
She was far too attached to him. Showering together, even if it would not involve sex, was just more intimacy that she could not deal with.
So she shook her head and made her way to the bathroom, closing the door quickly behind her and heading straight for the shower, trying not to be affected by the hurt look, she had seen on Ryan’s face at her refusal.
