Chapter 134: Punishment
Vivian’s POV
Though they were not back together, Vivian was talking to Bryce again.
It was a terrible idea.
Vivian knew it, Amy knew it, and she was pretty certain every single person out there in the world knew it. Sure, there was nothing going on between the two of them. But the fact that she was back to talking with the guy was just pitiful.
Every time that they interacted, whether they did it in person, or they talked to one another through phone calls, or through text. Vivian was always left feeling drained.
Reading Bryce’s latest text to her. She could not help but feel as though the eggs and toast that she’d had for breakfast were turning to lead in her stomach. Knowing Bryce, if she were to answer him, he would go on and on about carbs and butter and how all of it was adding to Vivian’s weight problem and how she should really care more about her health.
Just thinking about the imaginary lecture had her shoulders slumping. For a moment, she almost blocked Bryce again. Not wanting to hear those words coming out of his mouth. But then she remembered another man who’d called her gorgeous and beautiful. A man whose heart she had broken all because she had believed the word of another woman over him, and Vivian let the number stay as it was.
At first, she had been keeping contact with Bryce because he was bringing her pain that she was used to. Now, after finding everything out. She was keeping the lines of communication open with him because she had realized that Bryce was her punishment in life.
She’d had a good man and she’d ruined it. It was only right that she endure harassment from her ex for however long it would take for Bryce to grow tired of messing with her. Putting away the chocolate bar that she had just been about to have as a snack. Vivian took her plate to the sink and washed it, then she went back to her bedroom.
***
Her plan had been to go back to bed and sleep. But she found herself unable to do that. Earlier that morning when Amy had asked that they hang out, Vivian had told her that she had something to do, but that had been a lie. She had just wanted the time to mourn what was probably the best relationship she would ever have, (even if she had killed it before it could become that).
Getting off her bed, she went over to the drawer that held her most precious things and took them out. Spreading all of Ryan’s gifts to her, and the things that had been inspired by him on the covers, Vivian looked at them. Not for the first time since finding out what had actually happened, she was glad that she had not destroyed a single thing.
If she’d already obliterated all that Ryan had ever given her only to find out what she now knew, she was not sure she would have survived.
In that moment, as she stared at the objects before her, Vivian did not view them as reminders of lies and pain. Instead, she saw them for what they truly were. Precious treasures from a time when she’d been with a man that had genuinely cared about her.
Picking up the seashell, Vivian held it close to her ear. She listened to the sound of her blood rushing and pretended as though she could actually hear the waters that surrounded Vivian’s Rose. Putting it down, she picked up the ruby and put it on, kissing the giant stone as her fingers touched the laminated drawing of Ryan’s dick.
She had really messed up, and there was no fixing the mess that she had made. The best man that she had ever been with was gone.
***
The proper thing to do would have been to put everything back into the drawer and go back to never thinking of it again. But Vivian, now that she knew the full story, could not do that. She missed Ryan so much, it was a physical ache, and it was why she was now as naked as can be on the bed.
With the seashell put away Vivian had a hand between her parted legs and was fingering herself. Her eyes shifting to the dick drawing next to her. She tried to recall how it had felt to have Ryan in her instead of her own fingers. The memory of that wonderful stretch had her clamping down on herself. But it did not come close to how good he’d felt.
Not quite ready but too impatient to wait. She pulled out her fingers and reached for the bright green dildo. Without wasting any time, she speared herself with it. Crying out, as the pain chased away all of the pleasure that she had been building. Ignoring the discomfort Vivian, tears flowing from her closed eyes, continued to move the dildo in and out of her tight walls until her pussy adjusted, pain turning to pleasure.
Forcing her eyes open, she looked over at the blurry dick drawing and reached for it with her free hand.
"Oh Ryan," With her other hand still thrusting the dildo in and out of her wet cunt. Vivian let go of the drawing and moved her hand up her body. She played with her nipples before her fingers curved around the stone that Ryan had given her. Closing her eyes again, she let her mind take her back to that time when Ryan had been thrusting into her while she wore it. The man making her look into the mirror and see herself fall apart.
Sad tears still falling down her face, Vivian worked the dildo in and out of her wet pussy until her walls finally clamped down on it as she came. She did not fight the pleasure that came over her. Instead she let it carry her away, pretending like it was Ryan Terrell between her legs. That nothing had changed, and that when she opened her eyes, the man would be there smiling down at her and calling her gorgeous and all of the other sweet things that he used to. But the orgasm had to fade at some point and when it did, it left Vivian with the reality of what she had become.
She was now a woman pining so badly over a man that she was still fantasizing about him, despite knowing that he had already moved on. That he was now with the very woman, that Vivian had all but thrown him towards.
How pitiful.
