Chapter 104: Certain
Ryan’s POV
If it were possible to change what he was, Ryan was of the mind that he would no longer be a human being.
Instead of wanting to be an animal out in the wild roaming free. He would have chosen to at least be a puddle of water.
That way instead of hurting as badly as he was, all that he’d have to do would be to slosh around on the dirt while waiting for the sun to come and take him away.
There would be no pain for him to feel. He would simply just go from one form to another.
It sounded like a good existence.
A Vivian Rose free existence that would not cause him any pain.
But he was not a puddle of water waiting to become vapour. He was a human being, a human being with a best friend who was worried about him.
As a result of Mark’s intervention, Ryan had moved from the kitchen floor and was now laying down on one of the couches, ( something that had only been possible after Mark had moved the bottles and clothes that Ryan had deposited there during his manic phase of drunkenness).
He did not feel like talking. All that he wanted to do was just lay there and never get up, but Mark wanted answers.
"What do you mean she ended things?" Mark looked like a child who had just been told that his favourite planet was not real.
"You two are good for each other. I have seen the way you interact and I was certain that you were this close to being a couple," To emphasize Mark brought his thumb and index finger close together. Barely leaving any space between them.
Heaving, Ryan reached out for a bottle on the floor. Sitting up, he took a gulp, grimacing at the taste before he looked over at his friend.
"Well you thought wrong. I was wrong too, all this time that Vivian has been acting off, it turns out she was not waiting for me to ask her out. She was just waiting to dump me," Letting out a sound that he chose to believe was a hiccup instead of a sob, Ryan wiped away a few stray tears and chased them out of his system with another swallow of alcohol.
"She ended things," Mark sounded as shocked as Ryan had felt, ( in fact scratch that, he was still feeling the shock).
He meant to take another drink but Mark’s hands were suddenly there taking the bottle from him.
"You know what? I do not think that this is helping matters,"
His friend shook the bottle for good measure.
"How about you go shower and I will order something to eat. Once you have some food in your stomach instead of just alcohol, I am sure things will no longer seem as bleak as they do now,"
Ryan wanted to protest and say that things would always be horrible. But seeing the worry in his friend’s eyes made him nod silently and get to his feet.
***
Shoveling the food that Mark had ordered for them into his mouth without really tasting anything. Ryan hoped that if he kept his mouth busy long enough, he would forget how to speak and not have to say anything about what had happened.
But pretty soon his plate was empty and Mark, his own food still untouched, was staring at him expectantly.
Realizing that Ryan was not intending to say anything, the other man was the one to bring up the subject again.
"Are you absolutely certain that Vivian does not want to be with you? From the little time that I spent in her company, I truly thought that all of the feelings that the woman had when it came to you were genuine," Letting out a humourless laugh, Ryan looked his friend in the eye.
"I felt the same way too. But the moment that I told her that I wanted us to be serious, she instantly shut me down," Recalling how icy Vivian had been when ending things, Ryan wiped away another tear with the pad of his thumb.
"You should have seen her, Mark. Her eyes were so cold, there was no emotion whatsoever. It was almost as though she were looking at a stranger," His friend reached out and patted Ryan on the shoulder. The brief touch comforting.
"I am so sorry that that happened to you. I know that it could not have been easy to put yourself out there like that again," Had the words come from anybody else, Ryan would have thought that the person was being insincere. That they were just saying words for the sake of it. But he knew his best friend, If Mark had not meant his words, he would not have said them.
Feeling a bit soothed by that, he nodded at the other man.
"It’s not your fault that she did what she did. How were we supposed to know that she had been plotting this entire time. She just wanted me to let my guard down, so that she could go out there bragging that she had broken a billionaire’s heart,"
Despite his best efforts, by the time that Ryan finished the sentence, there were tears streaming down his face, and he had to angrily wipe them away. Looking over at Mark again, he found the other man staring at him with raised brows.
"What?" He questioned.
His friend was quiet for a bit, looking like a man carefully arranging words in his head before saying anything.
"Are you certain that that is what she was doing, just setting you up for a fall? Doesn’t it seem a bit out of character?"
Ryan felt a flash of anger at Mark for trying to defend Vivian. But it was gone as quickly as it had come. Instead all that he could manage was a tired shrug.
"Just because it seems out of character, when held up against the persona that she showed the entire time, it does not make it any less true. I asked that woman to be my girlfriend and she spit in my face," Feeling done with the conversation Ryan got up. Grabbing a bottle of alcohol as he made his way to his bedroom.
He did not turn back to Mark as he walked away. He just pretended like he could not feel the other man’s eyes digging holes into his back as he began to drink without even waiting to reach his bedroom.
