Chapter 197: Getting Rid of Tarian (2)
Ren heard the sound of a butterfly moving its wings over the water, the hanging flowers rustling near the water; a fish came up and moved its tail, making the water in the lake move, and Kestrel, who was standing by the water, started to say slowly, "That person’s name is..."
At that time, it felt like time was stretching on forever, and tons of moments from Ren’s life went through his mind super fast.
When he was a kid, he didn’t have parents, and life was hard. Back then, he was really little; when he was almost starving in the freezing cold, he would wish he was in one of the houses with warm lights; when he was sick and hurt, curled up in a corner, he would keep wishing for a family member to hug him.
He grew up by making lots of mistakes and falling over and over, without realizing it, wanting something deeply in his heart. Even though he didn’t know what it was, he kept trying to find it, feeling lost and confused the whole time.
After starting at the alpha school, he really looked up to Cass, but he changed as time went by. He made some friends and met some other students, but they ended up turning away from him. He met some buddies at the outpost that he would trust with everything, but they left him too. Whatever he wished for, he never got. His body felt hollow, like there was always something missing in his heart.
Only when he met Kestrel did he finally get what he had been missing for so long—a person who could bring happiness and warmth into his life, someone who felt like family, giving him a loving hug. Since the first time he met Kestrel, since the moment she hugged him, this unending desire became permanently connected to her.
Now, maybe Ren had new friends, stuff he wanted to do, dreams he wanted to reach, but the strong wish for her in his heart was more obvious and powerful than ever before.
Tarian was standing there, waiting for Kestrel to say something, waiting to hear that name come out of her mouth.
Ren was waiting too, not breathing, his heart not beating, like he was waiting for the biggest decision in his life. In his psychic landscape, the sea was covered in thick fog, with waves crashing wildly. A massive scale showed up in the sky; on one side of the scale were his homeland, mission, anger, duty, feelings... everything really important, and the other side was empty.
Until Kestrel slowly opened her mouth, and at last said the name, "He is my exclusive alpha, his name is... Ren."
The name "Ren" gently came down from the sky, landing on the empty side of the scale. The balanced scale started spinning under the countless stars.
Right then, Ren’s world became calm. The waves and heavy fog went away, his heart came back to its place, and he could breathe again.
He kind of figured that Kestrel might have just said his name to calm Tarian down. But hearing her say out loud that her one and only alpha was Ren, that she liked Ren and not someone else, not any other name, seemed to be enough. It felt like all the tough times from being a lonely, forgotten orphan to a soldier who had gone through a lot were eased in this moment.
Tarian walked away, his face white.
Kestrel let out a breath of relief, bending over to peek from under the vine-covered structure loaded with wisteria flowers, just to see Ren, the person whose name she had just used in her made-up story.
He was standing by the water, the flickering wave lights playing on his unique face; he was near the water, and it looked like his eyes were filled with the same twinkling lights.
Kestrel spotted a deep blush, spreading across his ears and neck. The red color went downwards, hiding under the tightly done-up collar of his soldier uniform.
Ren looked away, not meeting her eyes, and said in the sweet-smelling night air, "You... realized how I felt about you," his voice was quiet, sounding like a touch of sweet wine swirling in a glass, so easy to get lost in when you hear it.
Kestrel was slightly unsure if she had maybe drunk too much for the first time tonight, because her thoughts were so messy, to the point that she didn’t even mind the scattered purple petals that were now resting on her shoulders.
"What did Ren say? What feelings? What did he hear me say earlier?" Kestrel’s thoughts were racing in a flurry of panic.
The tendrils kindly responded:
"I already have an alpha, someone who likes me a lot, his name is Ren."
"You just said that."
"We really get along, and we even match well in our psychic landscape."
The tendrils reminded her very faithfully.
Kestrel opened her mouth, but for a moment, couldn’t find any words.
Ren sighed, reached forward and gently took away a petal that had landed on her head, and then, while looking at her surprised face, he gifted her a warm smile.
"It’s okay, you don’t need to explain further, I get it."
He understood that Kestrel was merely using his name as a way out, but despite this, he was genuinely happy. He only wished that Kestrel wouldn’t say anything more right now that could potentially hurt him.
...
The music came to a stop, the crowd began to leave, and the lavish royal banquet, where money seemed no object, came to an end.
Ren made his way back to the hidden room where the weapons were kept.
Although he had simply attended a banquet and hadn’t actually done anything, he felt as drained as if he had weathered a fierce storm. He settled into a dark corner on a reclining chair, extended his legs, let his body relax, and had no desire to move even a bit.
Weapons weren’t permitted at the royal banquet. Thus, both blades were left behind on the rack, unaware of the evening’s events.
"Did something happen to him again?"
"It looks like it, just see for yourself."
"He surely ran into something that’s bothering him, and he has no one to share it with. That’s why he came here, preferring our harsh words over silence."
"I bet it’s that Kraken issue again."
"He seems really down, he might become a bit of a masochist if this keeps up."
"Hey dude, offer him some advice. Aren’t you great with romance dramas?"
"Who, me? Good at romance dramas? I’m just good with sexual things, okay? But if you insist, I guess I can offer some guidance. So listen up, kiddo... mhmm mhmm mhmm"
Ren’s hand shot out, firmly holding onto the knife’s handle.
The dark knife attempted to voice its opinions despite being muffled by his grip.
"...Hear me out, you need to clean up your act and make...mhmm... finalize things with her, ...get her to commit..."
"...So innocent...mhmm... You don’t stand a chance against that Kraken being this naive...mhmm mhmm... let go..."
"Don’t silence him."
"His language might be coarse, but he has a point."
"If another alpha wins her over, don’t come crying to us."
"We don’t appreciate the flavor of bitterness."
In the dimly lit room, a light suddenly blinked on Ren’s opticomputer, showing there was a new message. He touched the screen to open it, where a round, pink octopus character was bouncing up and down happily.
Ren gently covered the handles of the two swords, the eyes on the swords were blinking on and off in a pattern.
Suddenly, the room became totally silent, no one said a word. Only Ren’s breaths could be heard in the room.
"Hurry up and read the message. Did you freeze up?"
"Getting a message at this hour might be a good sign."
After a bit, Ren let go and clicked on the bouncing octopus icon. The glow from the virtual screen lit up his face, his eyes scanned the message, and a bunch of text appeared on the screen, more than he had ever gotten at one time.
Ren was able to tell the difference between messages sent by Kestrel and those from Kestrel’s tendrils.
When Kestrel sent a message herself, it was always short, kind of cold, and not very friendly: Uh-huh, okay, yeah, sure. Never more than a few words. But the tendrils were a different story, they typed super fast, creating long, sweet messages. At the end, they even added some cute heart emojis to the message.
This time, it was clearly Kestrel typing. Messages appeared, then were deleted, over and over.
Ren could almost picture what was happening on the other side - Kestrel was probably sitting in front of her own bed, her face not showing any emotion, her pale fingers typing on the virtual keyboard, thinking hard about if the message really said what she wanted to express.
All the while, her tendrils were there too, offering ideas and suggestions:
"I am going to Mantidale..."
She was still typing, still typing.
"It’s not like other places."
"It means a lot to me."
"But it’s kinda risky."
"I was wondering..." — message deleted.
"I wanted to ask if you..." — message deleted.
"I really hope you can come with me."
"Do you think you could make some time?"
"Can’t wait to hear back from you yo~~~~" — she deleted the "yo".
"Oh~~~" — deleted.
"Yo~~~"
"Looking forward to your answer yo~~~ + sign".
Star symbol — deleted.
Uncomfortable smiley — deleted.
She was typing again, typing some more... And then, a bright and sparkly pink heart appeared.
